Saigon, here we come

The blog seriously needs an update and I am gonna finish my Piala Malaysia experience series after this one.
(Hopefully Kerabu Jantung will be patience enuf… I usually will finish what I started even though it’ll take a lloooonnnng time. Oooops earlier series also yet completed : The Pale Green Home, aiyah! – slap my own face)

Yuuuup, the title says it all… we are going for a short 4 days 3 nights trip to Ho Chi Minh from Saturday, I mean just a matter of few more hours. Wish me a safe and wonderful holiday, people !

It was supposed to be Harris’s office sponsored trip which is only for the staff. But I guess, you all know la… this mother hen (wey, I really mean mother hen with two legs and a pair of wings – not the one at Lorong Haji Taib) can’t stop making noise. I nagged and nagged and nagged Harris to ask his office administration if I could tumpang sekaki. I don’t mind paying for my own expenses. Again, this mother hen is not shame to admit that she is not the shameful type when it comes to this sort of item. He he. My feet got mole oneee….

My darling hubby on the other hand had to put away all of his shame to place my intention to the attention of trip organizer. One day after work, he told me – “Yes, you can join the trip to Vietnam”. Waaaaaaa!!!! Me so excited, I made my own assumption that surely there were many hubbies whom their wives pestered them to ask the same thing. The decision was made then due to the volume of requests.

Guess what Harris answered me? “Taklah, Abang je yang tanya." Gulp! I felt chocked. Is it real? I don’t believe it, could I be the only noisy mother hen? Guiltiness surrounded my senses.

Anyway, that thought only perplexed me for a very short moment. Always see a glass as half full! If it’s not because of me being the noisy mother hen nagging the big cock,… the other nicer mother hens wouldn’t be able to enjoy the trip, aren’t they? Adding as bonus, trip organizer also decided to sponsor for spouse’s trip expenses. Haaaaa, see the benefit to have a noisy mother hen? For that, I thank myself.

No doubt we are definitely bringing the little bidadari Dew along, even though her expenses is not counted in the package.

So, I am excited towards this trip. Further more I’ve contacted a friend from school whom is attached to Petronas and has been living Saigon for about a year. I really hope we would be able to meet up.

I’ve done with my before trip MUST-DO and MUST-BRING lists, It's 3am anyway. Of course most of the items in the list concerns Dew the most.
Before our trip to Bandung earlier this year, I made Harris agreed to cash out his RM 600 for the Baby Bjorn carrier albeit Dew has already own a carrier before the Bjorn. How? Oh… easy, I always implement the veto decision convinced him to trust my instinct. :P
Many times when we were in Bandung, Harris kept saying “It’s a good thing that we get this carrier or I could end up having back pain….”

Since Nada now is quite ‘heavy’ and ‘long’ to fit into the carrier even though she is still within limit specified by manufacturer, I thought we should get a pushchair for this trip. A light, not bulky and umbrella closure type. Easy to carry and practical to use. Lil Dew definitely will get tired at any point and I figured this stroller would be much useful. We could use in the airport right to the aircraft and shaft it by the door or in the overhead luggage area once we get into the fuselage, I have seen many people do that. Should later it is not really needed in HCM or the city could be less friendly to push chairs, then we’d just leave it in the hotel room.

My initial thought was to buy one of those pushchair which cost less than RM 100, but somehow after due consideration we end-up buying this one at more than triple of our budget. *Sigh*

I got hooked with it after looking at the size it become upon being folded up!

Lets make the buy worth even more …… to families whom have plans for trip and think this cutey push chair would do wonders… be a NOISY MOTHER HEN and don’t be shameful to ask me if you want to borrow. Non-chargeable. (Heard somebody is off to Melbourne?, siapakah itu ?)

Just shout out loud. (Susah nak baca ni – Macam - She sells sea shells at the sea shore!)

Oh dear…. I really love baby gadgets I think I want to own a business of it’s kind. For traveling purpose alone, lil Dew now has 2 pushchairs, 2 car seats, 2 carriers before her age is 2.
Well, I need not have to worry so much about that, surely there’ll be others who has more and different people has different interests anyway.

For now, I want to finish up a full bowl of trifle pudding and sing happily : “All our bags are packed and we are ready to go …………….”

P/s - Will brag about the trip later. Please bear with me, ya !

P/p/s - Mentibang ; thank you for this beautiful and delicious pudding. Must be nslave who made it!

Piala Malaysia 09 - my experience : Kelantan vs Negeri Sembilan

Pintu masuk ke dalam stadium telah lama dibuka sebelum kami tiba di perkarangannya. Ramai yang telah berpusu-pusu masuk untuk mendapatkan tempat duduk dengan lokasi yang diingini. Namun demikian, Harris dan saya memilih untuk bersolat Maghrib di surau berdekatan terlebih dahulu sebelum masuk ke dalam stadium. Di surau juga keadaan sesak sekali. Begitu ramai yang telah bersiap sedia di dalam saf untuk solat walaupun Maghrib belum tiba waktu. Barisan untuk mengambil wuduk bagaikan ubat nyamuk lingkar. Di dalam surau bahagian wanita, saya dapati ramai juga ibu-ibu yang membawa anak-anak kecil sekitar umur Si Kecil Embun. Ada yang sedang menyiapkan anak, ada yang menyuap makan. Saya agak mereka datang jauh dari Kelantan dan sudah tentu ada yang doanya malam itu selepas solat supaya skuad Kijang akan menang.

Di dalam perjalanan keluar dari surau, saya terdengar seorang lelaki menyatakan kepada isterinya : “Tok payoh masuk lah neh dale stadiung, abe tok ‘de nok caghi tekek. Buke tok sey beli, tak dok etek….”
Bermaksud “Tak perlu masuk ye ke dalam stadium. Abang tak sempat nak cari tiket. Bukan tak nak beli, tiada lagipun.”
Si isteri seolah-olah menerima tanpa bantahan. Saya tidak berpeluang untuk melihat air mukanya kerana itu hanyalah kejadian sepintas lalu di tepi saya sahaja.
Di dalam hati saya berkata. “Salute you lady”. Kalau saya berada di tempatnya sudah tentu ada sesuatu yang keluar dari mulut saya seperti : “What! No ticket? What the h*** then I’m gonna do outside here? No ticket for me means no ticket for you as well. Lets go home.”.. ~Leter-leter~leter~leter~

Sebaik sebelum masuk ke dalam stadium Harris mengutarakan kepada saya, mungkin saya mahu menimbang untuk duduk di pihak penyokong Negeri Sembilan. Secara terang, tempat duduk di pihak sana nampaknya lebih banyak yang kosong. Saya berkira-kira ada baiknya juga cadangan tersebut. Lagi pun Negeri Sembilan bukanlah satu negeri yang asing bagi saya.

Memanglah saya ni anak Kelantan tulen, kedua-dua ibu dan bapa saya orang Kelantan.

Tetapi Negeri Sembilan teramat dekat di hati saya. Selama lima tahun saya bersekolah asrama di sana. Tempoh waktu membesar yang menyeronokkan saya habiskan di Tanah Adat itu. Makanannya menjadi santapan saya. Selepas habis bersekolah, saya pergi buat sementara waktu dan pulang kembali untuk bekerja. Rezeki saya ada di sana. Ketika bekerja, saya mengumpul ramai kawan yang asalnya dari Negeri Sembilan. Setiap hari mendengar percakapan loghat Negeri yang juga tidak kurang syoknya.

Di negeri bertuah itu jugalah saya bertemu dengan saudara Harris yang merupakan salah satu anugerah terbaik buat saya setelah saya gagal cinta pertama dan tetapkan minda untuk tidak mahu jatuh cinta lagi sehingga saya pasti – “This is it”. cheeeeeeWAH.
Harris kemudiannya adalah lelaki yang saya kahwini. Setelah berkahwin saya juga tinggal di Seremban, Negeri Sembilan walaupun itu bermaksud saya terpaksa berulang-alik ke Kuala Lumpur untuk berkerja setiap lima hari seminggu (saya telah berpindah tempat kerja setelah tamat Ijazah Kedua). Bukan calang-calang orang yang boleh berbuat demikian.

Sekarang tinggal di apartment, kadang-kadang saya rindukan jiran sebelah rumah saya di Seremban, seorang makcik tua berbangsa Sik. Dia saban hari akan menunggu saya pulang dari pejabat di anjung rumahnya hanya untuk menanyakan : “Hello Yanti, you only reach home, how are you? are you tired?” Saya akan senyum kepadanya dan menjawab : “Hi, yes very tired, aunty… You haven’t sleep?” Kami kemudiannya akan masuk ke rumah masing-masing. Paling saya selesa, kami saling tidak “busy-body” dan saya tidak pernah menerima soalan “When are you going to have a baby” daripadanya. Walaupun tidak “busy-body, her ice-breaking conversation" adalah sesuatu yang sungguh menyenangkan.

Jika dibandingkan dengan sekarang, saya hanya sekali terserempak dengan isteri jiran sebelah rumah saya selama hampir dua tahun tinggal di rumah sekarang walaupun pintu apartment kami hanya dipisahkan oleh dinding setebal 4 inci. Ini cerita benar … Hanya sekali dalam hampir dua tahun dan saya pun telah lupa akan rupa parasnya.

Si Kecil Embun juga dilahirkan di sana walaupun ketika itu kami telah pun berpindah ke Ampang. Sehingga kini kami masih kerap turun ke Seremban kerana masih merujuk Pakar Kanak-kanak yang sama untuk Si Kecil Embun. Jika pun tidak ke hospital kami akan sengaja pergi kesana untuk melewati kedai-kedai makan yang menjadi kegemaran kami di hujung minggu. Nasib baiklah Seremban itu tidak jauh dalam erti kata di dalam negeri berjiran dengan tempat tinggal kami sekarang.
Pendek kata hampir 10 tahun saya mengenali Negeri Sembilan, dan itu adalah hampir satu per tiga dari umur saya sehingga sekarang. Tempoh itu juga hampir sama dengan jangkamasa saya tinggal di negeri sendiri Kelantan kerana hidup saya ini banyak berkelana.

Panjang lebar saya berkisahkan diri saya dan Negeri Sembilan, namun kami tetap memilih pintu pagar untuk penyokong Kelantan kerana di sudut hati, saya adalah Kelantanese……………………. And I came to support my countryman. Amacam ? bersemangat tak saya malam itu?

Sebaik melepasi pintu pagar stadium, beg saya diperiksa dan pengawal keselamatan menjumpai dua botol berisi air di dalamnya. Ia adalah tidak dibenarkan dan merupakan sesuatu yang tidak kami ketahui. Oleh itu, saya dan Harris terpaksa menghabiskan 600ml air minuman kosong dan 600ml air ribena setiap seorang di hadapan pintu pagar itu juga.

Lautan manusia bebaju merah meliputi 2/3 kapasiti stadium benar-benar membuatkan saya teruja dan terkesima. Sorakan Gomo Kelate Gomo menaikkan semangat, saya secepat kilat mengirimkan sistem pesanan ringkas kepada kawan sekerja seorang penyokong tegar Selangor, berbunyi “Kalau sorak, 200% Kelantan dah menang malam ni”

......... bersambung lagi

Piala Malaysia 09 - my experience : So many of us

The red warriors telah tewas di kaki anak-anak tambatan jurulatih Wan Jamak Wan Hassan pada dua Sabtu lepas di Stadium Bukit Jalil. Pasukan Hobin Jang Hobin nampaknya telah bermain dengan lebih baik. Walaupun di kala saya menulis pos ini pelbagai cerita kedengaran kenapa skuad Kijang tidak bermain dengan baik pada malam tersebut, sebagai seorang yang sangat meminati Sukan, saya sentiasa percaya “Best team deserves to win”.

Perasaan saya begitu berbelah bahagi untuk bersama-sama pergi menyemarakkan suasana Stadium Bukit Jalil bagi menyokong pasukan bolasepak negeri saya yang telah kesekian 39 tahun tidak dapat memasuki peringkat akhir Piala Malaysia.
Pertamanya, saya tidak pasti jika saya pergi menonton perlawanan tersebut perlukah saya membawa sekali Si Kecil Embun. Tidak sampai hati untuk ditinggalkan tetapi dalam masa yang sama begitu was-was dengan keselamatan di stadium yang saya pasti akan dipenuhi dengan pelbagai ragam manusia.

Keduanya, memang benar saya seorang peminat Sukan… segala jenis sukan tetapi Bolasepak agak tidak menarik perhatian saya. Secara jujur : “I only watch World Cup for football, not even EPL”, pergh… itulah kenyataan berlagak saya.
Oleh itu, saya kurang kenal dengan pemain-pemain bolasepak liga kebangsaan kecuali yang ada skandal atau gosip-gosip hangat dengan artis-artis tempatan dan cerita-ceritanya seringkali keluar di akhbar sisipan Mingguan Malaysia, Pancaindera. :P. Contohnya, yang kahwin lari di Siam.

Saya diyakinkan oleh ibu saudara, Cik Ra supaya tidak membawa Si Kecil Embun dengan kata-katanya – “Ish…. Tok soh laaaaah bawok Nada, awok tahula penyokong Kelate.. jenih palo anging-anging belako. Kalu jadi gapo-gapo gak mudoh sikik kito nok laghi ko… teghejung ko…” bermaksud – “Ish… jangan bawa Nada, awak tahukan (karakter) penyokong Kelatan, jenis kepala angin semuanya. Kalau terjadi sesuatu (yang tidak elok) mudah sikit, nak lari ke … terjun ke…”

Ia diputuskan – ya, saya tidak membawa Si Kecil Embun ke stadium. Jika diingatkan, saya memang jarang benar meninggalkan Si Kecil Embun jika hendak kemana-mana kecuali bekerja waima kepada neneknya sendiri. Saya fikir sehingga umurnya hampir dua tahun ini, tidak sampai kiraan jari yang sebelah tangan dia ditinggalkan. Saya tidak betah memikirkan orang lain akan terpaksa bersusah menjaga anak kesayangan ketika saya bersuka-ria kecuali orang tersebut dibayar atau dibalas secara berpada.

Perjalanan ke stadium sangat menyeronokkan apabila saya dan Harris memilih untuk menaiki sistem transit aliran ringan STAR. Sesampainya kami di stesen Ampang, kegembiraan mula dirasai dengan hanya melihat ramai yang memakai baju berwarna merah dan bercakap di dalam dialek yang begitu sedap di halwa telinga saya. “Gu gak naik gha, ‘jadi!”

Kami ketika menunggu tren, terpaksa beralah kerana sangat padat dengan sengaja membiarkan beberapa tren lebih awal berlalu pergi.

Apabila gerabak STAR yang menuju ke Sri Petaling tiba, sorakan WWWWOOOOO bergema seolah-olah ucap selamat di antara yang berada di dalam gerabak dan di atas platform kerana rata-ratanya berbaju merah menandakan “KITA DARI KAPAL YANG SAMA”.

Tren yang sesak seperti waktu puncak di hari-hari bekerja

Ya, saya memang suka diambil gambar... walaupun dalam tren yang bagaikan tin dipenuhi makerel.

Meriah suasana di stesen-stesen STAR sudah tentu tiada tandingan dengan suasana di sekitar stadium. Saya terpesona kerana dari dalam tren sudah kelihatan betapa ramainya “set-set” penyokong skuad Gomo Kelate Gomo yang kelihatan bagai semut merah menghurungi gula batu.

Saya tidak berbaju merah, begitu juga pasangan saya..........

Ulat-ulat yang menjual tiket secara “pasaran gelap” menyambut kedatangan kami. Tiket berharga RM 20 dijual RM 50 ~ 60, yang mana sejam sebelum perlawanan bermula dijual pada harga RM 5!
Dalam keghairahan yang hadir untuk menonton perlawanan bolasepak, saya kagum pada yang mengambil kesempatan untuk berniaga, seperti Bangla di belakang saya di dalam foto ini!

Harris berkeras untuk tidak membazirkan RM 1 duitnya, walaupun saya bersunguh-sungguh meminta dibelikan kain lilit kepala. Saya lagi-lagi lah tidak ingin membazirkan RM 1 duit saya sendiri. Betapa kedekutnya kami berdua! Walau demikian, kami tidak lupa membeli untuk Si Kecil Embun sehelai kemeja T putih dengan nombor 23 berharga RM 15 sebagai cenderahati walaupun ia sebenarnya adalah untuk merawat rasahati yang bersalah. :)

.........bersambung...

Something new

Oooo, I am so excited. Earlier today, I finally got hold of the good that I ordered through the internet. This is really my first time buying stuff online. Honestly, it is something rather unusual to me. Yes, I do source for information from the net but buying online ? I was skeptical about it. To top it up though I am an internet user, I wouldn’t categorize myself as an I.T savvy which can be judge by my attestation that I only familiarize myself with blogs & forum for about a year or so.

The purchase was done almost last two weeks and to my surprise the delivery was speedy fast which I was supposed to receive the next day. Unfortunately, we were not home that Saturday when the parcel arrived. So, I was only left with the notice by Pos Laju pasted to my house door. The same weekend, I went back home town until middle of the week and was not able to collect the parcel at collection centre. The working days later do not allow me enough time to make the tour to pickup the item either. Came last weekend, it was 1st Saturday of the month and Pos Laju collection centre was not in operation.

Today, by so having a meeting near to the collection centre made the parcel finally succeeded to be in my possession. I was surprised that it actually came in a nice flower prints paper box.

Another bonus, the purchased item inside was neatly folded and being wrapped with yellow butter paper. I imagined the sender took an extra mile to make the receiver happy by putting personal care for item delivered. Indeed, she made one mommy very happy tonite.

Little dew had the honor to unwrap the parcel. It was intended for her anyway….

I bought her a smocking dress from Little Girls' Closet which I found out from a friend of mine. Lovely, isn’t it?

She twirls.

Ahhhhh, how I ‘llllllloveee smocking details. This reminds me, I've yet posted any entry on smocks that I made for my girl. Hhhmmmmm.

Mommy is tired

I am tired.
Could somebody tell me how to get money flowing in without having to work my ass like a donkey or by just shaking legs?…. besides being married to a rich old man or to a rich old man’s son. Too bad, I have passed the period of courting!

I am so tired that I feel like taking an unpaid leave for a month and fly to Arctic to join the polar bears hibernating in the caves. It is so overwhelming to reach home after work even though the time shown is 9.00pm by having lil dew running towards me with her arms opened wide wanting me to pick her up.
But…. I felt so helpless that all I did was give her a big hug, lots of kiss and carry her for not more than 60 seconds because I was tired.

I am so tired, still I do not want to restrict my little darling having fun with her toys just because I would get scorching head to tidy up the mess she’d make. Dew’s favorite is ransacking my handbag looking for my purse and stationary case which if full of colored pens, pencils, markers, art liners, scale rulers, rubber erasers, cutter and little stapler – I am an Architect maaaaa….. YES, I carry all these in my bag. Upon finding the two, she’d take out everything inside on to the floor. She’ll be VERY happy exploring.
I am so tired, I wanted to shout at her – STOP! Mommy has no energy to pick up the mess…. But I didn’t because I am too guilty to stop her.

I am so tired, though I know my dearest other half loves real hot Darjeeling tea with slight lemon juice and slice to be accompanied with IKO biscuits for supper, I only served him 3 in 1 instant coffee mixed with semi-hot water which already been kept in the trusted thermos for more than 24 hours.
I am too tired to fill up the jug kettle to boil water, too tired to prepare the tea, too tired to cut the lemon and squeeze for it’s juice! I am so tired – I just did the extent that I could.

I am so tired, I dozed off on the sofa in front of tele while entertaining my love dancing knowing loads of chores to be done at the back of my head.

Nada dancing her part Sarawak Sumazau and part Maori Hakka dance………..

My sleep on the sofa hardly continue past midnight, I reflexively wake up after close to couple hours of nap nearing to 12 night not surprise with the house condition which is like a tongkang pecah or telah dilanggar garuda. Sigh! Leave that a side first. Turn on tele channel 702, ahah! Have a laugh with The Nanny & Friends, if it’s Thursday… 107 for Grey’s Anatomy re-run and make sure a box of tissue is by my side.

I am so tired, I have no choice but to resume with the mundane things though it’s 1am. I’d start with laundry if any of the two laundry bags (one for Harris and me, one for Dew) is shouting that it could no longer hold, washing Dew’s bottles and food thermos, sterilizing, preparation for breakfast, tidying up the messy house, vacuuming if need be (well, no neighbors yet complain) watering and talking to my cute little pot plants, hanging dry the laundry and thousand and one others to do until I decide it is enough for the day and to stop for hot shower.

All the necessities had been done.

I am so tired, sometimes I find myself crying on prayer mat.

Still I am so thankful that after a long tiring day, I took a peep to Dew’s room to find out that my dearest husband had done a good job by nicely tucked our baby girl for sleep. I kissed my girl and could smell the Pureen baby toothpaste. Harris abide my instruction – Make sure get lil dew to brush teeth before sleeping! I am happy and whisper to her ears “Ashhadu allailaha illallah, waashhadu anna Muhammadur rasullullah. Aku naik saksi tiada lain yang disembah melainkan Allah dan Aku naik saksi Muhammad (s.a.w) itu pesuruh Allah”.

Again, my tears flow…. how I regret the much that I let pass my darling day-by-day growing up. I know No numbers of videoes or pictures will be enough to capture her antics. But until I am senile, I would always trust myself that I have enough memory of my little girl to remind me that she has a vast space deep in my heart.

I decided to lay next to her, hold her close to me, smell her nice jasmine-like scent.

Mommy is just merely tired.

Weekend morning at a neighbourhood park

1st hair cut

Disregard the bold shaving for 7 times before her age is one, lil dew had her first proper hair cut or I would say hair trim on 04 October 2009. And this was how it went .....

BEFORE HAIR TRIM

The jaggy fringe

DURING HAIR TRIM

Keep still, keep still..... (x-cuse my husband's 'tone' arm, i've trimmed off his tummy from the pix, but you just got to bear with the arm!)

AFTER HAIR TRIM

Yeah!!! the helmet like hair-do. Uncle Brad Pitt said - she somehow looks 'rounder'

and, she's not NADA if she doesn't think she could it herself. To those whom are concern,... she's holding a blunt point scissors with cap by NUK German designed for child use. :)

Leave us alone

I bumped to a friend whom I’ve not met for more than a decade. It was long enough that I almost did not recognize her, definitely contributed by her being so well groomed. She was a tall, beautiful lass then and now she is even more than gorgeous and charming. I got to know her for a very brief period when we both attended an induction program, Petronas organized for their scholarship holders during my first year in uni. Even though we were from different courses, we got acquainted well at the time may be due to many interests that we shared. So I would say, she and I can’t be considered as best or close friends but fair enough to be able to sit down for more than 2 hours to just talk and talk despite not seeing each other for so long.

My friend is now married and not working as she follows her husband almost to every corner of planet Earth due to his nature of work. She wore Nicole Miller, Christian Lacroix, Jimmy Choo and a diamond beaded Rolex. Carried YSL tote. What she had on her when I met her sums to no lesser than 30 grant and with no shame, I told her I was jealous of her. I had on me not more than 3 grant, most I had on my watch only . :( So jet-set la her! PHD – perasaan hasad dengki!

I came to know she’s been married for five years, but yet with any child.

After quite long chit-chatting, she asked me how come I never asked her ‘when’ would she want to have a child. Hmmm? I asked her back – Would she want me to ask her the question? Answer was, not that she wants but at the norm event people would ask.

I am now blessed with a joyful daughter after close to four years the age of my marriage. Before the arrival, I vomited blood every time people asked me the question. And years before, I vomited blood mixed with phlegm every time people asked me – “When are you gonna get married ?”

Are you married ? and When are you gonna get married ? are the kind of questions that very vast different interpretation one could make when being asked in different circumstances.
If I want to know a friend’s status when I really do not know, I’ll ask are you married. When I know and very sure a friend is planning to get married, I’ll ask when are you gonna get married.

But if I already know a friend is NOT married, I won’t ask just for the sake of asking.
When I know or don’t know if a friend is not planning or planning to get married, I won’t ask when are you gonna get married either.

Same thing with having a child. If I know or don’t know a friend is not planning orplanning to get child, I won’t ask when are you gonna get a child.

What I mean here is, I won’t simply ask question in the situation that I am not certain of the other party’s circumstances. I guess, it really ties back to the intention of the people who is asking and the way one asks.

I have had enough of people asking me these unanswerable questions.
If only to me, getting married is as easy as finishing up two plates of Lamb Chop at Victoria Station or if only getting a child is as easy as buying Happy Meal over the Mc Donald’s drive thru counter, I would have answered many people.

Now that I no longer being asked these questions, I am now frequently being asked – Bila nak dapat baby lagi? I would like to say, Sudahlah… Leave us alone, go find something useful to read on.

Hopefully, it's never too late

My friend posted an entry in her blog listing a planner checklist for herself prior to Ramadan. I realized that I missed out a lot of things and sort of made a little wish inside me – to have a better Ramadan this year. I know I am no pious person but I want to put extra effort comparing to former year. That brings me to constant Tadarus after my prayers.
Again as I started, I realized I have no less than three Qurans in my house.. but all are so new and crisp with no folded ears. I am shame to admit that they are hardly used, only about once a week on Thursday nights for reciting Surah Yassin.

The recite of the first page left tears at corner of my eyes, how I read the Aliflaammiim in such difficulty. I braced to recite further bearing in mind the Hadith I learnt from my friend’s checklist. (TQ Uji.)
“He who recites the Quran fluently will be in the company of the noble and virtuous angels, and he who recites the Quran haltingly and with difficulty will have a double reward” – Al-Bukhari & Muslim

I was so-so embarrassed of myself when my mind drifted to the yesteryears of my childhood moments.

I started to learn the Muqaddam, Kelantanese called Surat Kecik (dulu-dulu mana ada Iqra’) when I was 7 years old. My first day at primary school was also my first day for reciting Quran classes at Mok Cik Aji’s. She lived in a nice white and blue wooden house surrounded with rambutan trees of a corner lot.
Apart from having our Quran at Mok Cik Aji’s house, we had our sarongs and scarfs too. This is to cover our legs and head for those whom went to school in pinafore. So, we just put on the sarong underneath the pinafore and that’s it! Attire for Quran reciting.

Busu whom is my mami’s youngest sister was in her Form 6 at the neighboring secondary school when I was in Standard 1. By the reason, my mami asked me to walk to and from school with her right from the start. My cousin sister studied in the same school but we were not able to walk together as she was in the afternoon session differ from mine being in the morning session.

Busu sent me to the school’s gate the first day and asked – “Adik, berani ke pergi kelas sendiri?”. I said – Yes.

Then we were off for our own way. I walked to my class 1 Hijau by myself fearless, even though I had never gone to Kindergarten. Bravery from a lot of playing - I must say. (What happen to kids nowadays that need parents to accompany for school? I don’t see my daughter as any difference.)

I headed straight to Mok Cik Aji’s house after school from the first day also on foot sometimes alone, sometimes accompanied by friends with a big yellow cloth hat my mami made for me to protect my head from the scorching sun. I love the hat that one day, a playful boy from the same mengaji class snatched it from me while I was wearing and ran away back to his huge house. I didn’t give a hoot and chased him right into his house and went shouting with his mother nearby – BUI TOPI SAYO BALIIIIK!! – means : Give my hat back!!!. The boy’s mom must have shocked to see a short little girl almost like a dwarf with such a fierce face… quickly went to get the hat from his son and lent it back to me. That’s me – don’t mess around ok.

My reciting Quran classes lasted until Busu came to fetch me. It was quite the right timing, even though I got to wait for her sometimes as secondary school finished so much later than the lower primary session.
I didn’t take long to know Alif, Ba, Ta and subsequently be fluent enough with my reciting of the Surah. With such capability Mok Cik Aji asked me to listen and to help with others whom she would think I would be able to teach, many times those older than me. I was still in Standard 1 at that time and eventually I need not have to wait for Busu to fetch me but she had to wait for me instead because my reciting Quran would finished very-very late. Dah jadi tok guru pulak beb…..

Speaking of tok guru, Mok Cik Aji was so good with kalimah Allah s.w.t, she could have five to six person around her reciting different Surah at the same time and could still noticed any flaws in her students readings. There was one day, I tried to ‘cheat’ her. We were all needed to recite on our own before reciting in front of her. Since I already had few rounds reciting the same page over-over again I decided to recite the next page in front of her. The moment I recite the first verse – Piap!!!!!! Her lidi swayed on my Quran – MUNG LAKA KO YATI? Means – You skip page, Yanti? (She called me Yati) – Baco doh takdi mok cikkk, my voice shivered.
No, I got to go back to the page that I was supposed to. And tell ya, that’s when I already Khatam Quran for don’t know what number. Indeed she was very fierce, my cousin Feby only dare to go mengaji with her once.

It is a normal customary in a Malay family to have Khatam Quran function when one completed reciting the first round of Quran. My brother and cousin sister had it concurrently when they were in Standard 6 which was also joint by me as I also had completed mine. I was in Standard 4 then, about to finish for the second time. It was an exaggerated function with pulut kuning, bunga telur and dias, place for us to recite Quran. Mok Cik Aji lead us all for the Majlis.

I love Mok Cik Aji - she told me : Mung panda ngaji Yati.... Jange tingga lah, baco Qro'e ni.

Now you know why I was so embarrassed of myself and had tears in my eyes? If Mok Cik Aji is alive she would be embarrassed of me too.
What damage have I done? MasyaAllah. A capability that I used to have it in such great skill is slipping away. All due to my own fault.

It’s been two weeks of Ramadan, I felt a slight relief that after a week of faltering … I now recite better. I pray for Allah s.w.t to forgive my sins and accept my little good deeds. Amin.

EYEBROWS and EYE LASHES

Many babies and toddlers have a habit of their own. Some love to suck blanket edges or a pillow leaving the two like a kain buruk or sucking a pacifier or sucking own thumb or…… must have her palm against somebody’s face if she wants to sleep! (that’s my beautiful cousin’s daughter – Adriana and you can read more about her HERE if you want to…. Che… link lagi).

She’s the one in the best pose of the pix… Of course the second from right, as beautiful as her mummy. (ahhh…. jangan perasan la che’ anim….)

This cousin's son of mine, tak tahu la habit apa ni. He's named after Harris as in Harith... eh tak lah.. just nama sama. :)

Nada is just like other babies, she has a habit too, a unique habit. She loves to play as in touching one’s eyebrows and eye lashes! Want to see a pix? I uploaded HERE before. I can’t figure out when she actually started. She uses her fingertips and also her palms to softly touches the brows and lashes as if experimenting her senses. I wonder how could she get the habit until Harris told me, that it is definitely from me. I do the same thing without me even realizing it. Sometimes I lay down on our couch while watching tele and start lightly rubbing my eyebrows.

Mostly, Nada fell for the habit when she’s having milk from the bottle… She would play her eyebrows with one hand while the other holding her Avent. Should I am near her she would ask for mine. So many of the time, I ended accompanying her for milk time and also for sleeping time until I transferred her to the cot. That’s why I also got sleepy and zzzzzzzzz myself while she was trying to sleep.

We trained Nada to sleep in the cot as much as we could because I already had the worst nightmare ever that she fell off the bed being too active moving around in her sleep. The daytime sleeps were fine. It's not the same at nights when sometimes she woke up and resisted her cot may be because of feeling lonely. I could hold myself from picking her up but not Harris whom is with a soft heart. He said – takut demam kalau nangis banyak (when I do not encounter even once that Nada got sick because of too much crying. Sigh!)

So at the occasions Nada used to sleep in the middle of Harris and I, she cried too due to bad dreams – I guess, since she no longer required milk over night. Her hands would go searching for eyebrows, even to the extend climbing on our laying body with her eyes closed in the search of her favorite. Eye brows!

At one point, whenever Harris and I heard Nada crying or merengek in her sleeps we would automatically, kruh-krah-kruh-krah…. turned our subconscious body towards her from whichever way we were facing becoming like R.O.B.O.T.S.
Well you know, it’s a stage that you’re actually in a very deep sleep and you hear nothing else, not even if your house was invaded by aliens except for your baby crying? – Parents would know.
Nada then would let her arms widely spread open reaching for us both. One hand on daddy’s eyebrows and one hand on mommy’s and we would be needed to stay put while she ‘main our kening’! Pekenama tu? Dia pulak bagi arahan kat kita ?

She however prefers mommy’s brows and lashes so much more as to compare to daddy’s.

The ‘main kening’ thing continued even though she slept in the baby cot on her own in the room next to ours. So, if she cried and was searching for eyebrows I got to go to her, bend myself half down to let her able to reach my eyebrows. Slowly she would need to get the feel of it, may be for 30 seconds… then she’d continue her sleeps.

Now that she’s too big for the cot, I can’t help but to let her be on the bed. Fear for felling off again, the bed looks like a fort with pillows and safe guard rail every time she sleeps. Luckily, she’s less active now but the need for brows and lashes doesn’t get any lesser. Whenever she cries, I would need to wake from my sleep, walk over from our room and lay besides her surrendering to what she wants just like a Slave serving her Queen! Redha je la….

Nada created a variation to her hobby when she not only ‘main kening’ with her hands but she also wants to feel them with her lips! Aduh.. pening Mek!
Out of sudden she came near me with her mouth slightly opened. I thought she wanted to kiss me but I was wrong! She was heading to my eyebrows and lashes and just when the lips touched, she rubbed her lips soothingly to them. Mind you, when she gets “syok”…. her saliva starts to drip and smearing whatever I was having for my eyes. So much so – No eye-shadow, No eye-liner and No mascara for me. :P Like I always put them on pun… he he

Hmmmm, Should you think what I write here about my darling is rather peculiar, wait till you hear the next.

One night, she cried for the usual thing she wants. I lied next to her while she did her thing and I dozed off. After a while, I felt she was half climbing on me. I suspected nothing because she does that all the time. I felt the brush to my brows and I opened my eyes. To my surprise, she again introduced another variation to her hobby and I was shocked to see her elbows right in front of my eyes rubbing softly my brows and lashes! Dia guna SIKU dia cik kak oooooiiii!!!!

Please go figure – An 18mths ol baby girl kneeling towards you while you are laying flat with her two elbows pointing at you, whilst so gently rubbing your eyebrow and eye lashes …. And her eyes are closed because she is sleeping!

Now, should I be worried?

Mek dah tak pening lagi… Mek pengsan terus………dush - toing-yong-yong-yong-yong-yong. Tweet – tweet – tweet – tweet, see birds now.

Ini dia itu budak kici!

TQ TOUGHCOOKIE

I learnt to link entry post. TQ to my dearest friend toughcookie. Happy siot....

The gorgeous black horse.................

..... ran like a lightning again. Hmm, who else… I mean the Jamaican man Usain Bolt. It’s the third 100m run World Record in 15 months and the second in just a year apart that he achieved with so much glory at the IAAF, World Track and Field Championships that took place in Berlin Germany, only three days back. 9.58 sec? What a blast – gila mamat ni.

I didn’t have the chance to watch him run live (I mean on tv) as to compare to Olympic Beijing 08 (wrote about this a year ago - can somebody teach me how to link the entry... yang kalau kita click kat underlined word(s) tu.....), but caught it during sports slot of 8pm Buletin Utama on TV3 and my jaw went dropped. Handsome sungguh dia lari.
So strong yet with high altitude of grace leaving the others far behind. I told Harris, if only I could be by side of the track while he’s running I would jump onto his back and grab at his shoulder for the last 20m run just to feel the wind smashing my face and running through my hair.

(Anyone remember the movie Dances with Wolves shown in the 90’s directed and starred by Kevin Costner? In the movie, there is a red Indian man with a name Wind in his Hair. It’s because unlike other red Indians whom braid their hair, this man always let his long beautiful hair untied. So, as he rides his horse crossing the vast pasture of supposed to be in the exile west of States, one can imagine how beautiful the scene would be. I was thinking of something like that lah if I could have ridden on Usain Bolt’s back!)

I interpreted Harris’s expression as,
a. by the time u try to jump… he could have finished the race,

or

b. the race could have been called off because there was a crazy woman landing on the track. He he.

Able to watch UB running during the News of course didn’t satisfy me. Too short ley. Me then googled for YouTube videos but to disappointment, as the 9.58 sec run turn out to be 19.58 minutes only to download. I didn’t tell uols – My home is still opting dial on jaring account. So the very low-tech la, me and Harris.

The next day during breakfast at our favorite stall near to Ampang Point, UB’s face was everywhere on news papers and I can’t let go but to talk and talk and talk about him to Harris. Naik boring laki aku.
I really dream for an opportunity to attend a mega track and field sports event. The biggest that I’ve attended was only KL - Commonwealth Games. Itu pun dah happy maut.

What does it feel to watch a man running 100m across you in less than 10 seconds? Pro-rata : 10m – 0.1 sec. Can visualize? Not easy eh? Zup! Macam tu jer. I know I’ll get goose bumps all over my skin.

However, as much as I love to watch Usain Bolt sprinting the 100m distance, I love more to perceive the look on his face when finishing JOHAN and continuing the remaining run around the stadium. Feeling proud of his run and gazing to the massive crowds applauding to his accomplishment. Posing for his famous “tunjuk-langit” pose to the thousands of photo shots. Being the center of attraction at the highest confident level.

Usain Bolt – wish for your goal of 9.4 sec WILL be conquered in the magnificent stride of yours in due time.

To my dearest girl, Nada – that’s the feel of triumph. Mommy hope and pray at any point of your life you’ll be in this glorious state and be proud of yourself.
Mommy also want you to know… even if you are not running like Usain Bolt – YOU ARE ALREADY MOMMY’S TRIUMPH… from THE FIRST DAY and when you utter the word mmMMe – mmMMiiii - it says it all.

She now wears boots to fight Mommy’s Caterpillar.

On one weekend morning

Mommy said "Nada, put on your shoes..." I chosed my pink ballet shoes and tried some balancing at the corridor wall.

I thought mommy wanted to send me to the ballet class but we ended at Old Town White Coffee instead. I made my order.

I wanted to order Long Black and Nasi Lemak, somehow I accidently marking all over the Order Chit.

Ergh! mommy always forgot to put sugar into her teh tarik, so I 'helped' her with that.

My goodness, the toast bread was so delicious. The best part, mommy let me makan KAYA! - She must be in a good mood for letting me.

Eh! Itu Alif - Sayang, sayang, sayang ke tengah lintas jalan?

Toast bread might be delicious, but nothing compares to a full bottle of milk and milk and milk. :) Do I look like Alex the Lion of Madagascar with hair like this?

Bahasa Malaysia vs English

reading while on the moves ... just like mommy

The Cabinet had finally decided to revert the teaching of Mathematics and Science for the Primary Schools children from the current in English to Bahasa Malaysia by 2012. The decision was made after a lot of Hu-Ha raised by certain group of people.
My boss and I had a long chat about the subject and we both agreed that we both couldn’t arbitrate which option would be a better one.

The brilliant Prof. Ungku Aziz stated his opinion that language is just a medium to getting the knowledge across. Any language would equally gives the same impact because the important substance here is the knowledge and not the language itself. Chandra Muzaffar said, PPSMI was a mistake. Che Det said, reverting to BM will be a mistake. Well, every one is entitled to his own opinion.

I am a kampong girl, proud one from Kampung Lundang, Kota Bharu, Kelantan. Glamor sket – New Castle, Chelantanne.
Kelantanese are famous for our English Budu – speaking. Many may speak English but can’t never leave the budu accent behind. I did quite well during primary school which opened me for an opportunity to a boarding school for secondary, a reputable one in-fact – Tunku Kurshiah College. Together with me, there were two others from my batch whom were selected for the same which later was followed up by another one.

When I first arrived in TKC.. 21 years ago, I noticed a big green sign board with yellow lettering read as “SAVE OUR ENVIROMENT” placed at the first corner right after entering the Bukit Merbah compound. Out of the 3 words, I only understood the meaning of the middle word – OUR.
The other two – SAVE, ENVIROMENT – what the hell is that? So, you can judge my English standard back then. I believe I couldn’t say the same with my two friends. They surely comprehended the signboard well. This means, I couldn’t blame being a Kelantanese for having such poor English vocabulary knowledge. I do not how I got an ‘A’ for English in Peperiksaan Darjah 5! (Peperiksaan Darjah 5? Not even UPSR?… Oh! How I was from the dinosaur age)

In TKC, we had to sit for an English proficiency test every year to determine which Set we would be in for English classes. Obviously, I didn’t end up in the high set. Sure la… many of my friends at that time have already been reading “thick-complicated-adults” books of Mario Puzo la , Stephen King la, Sidney Sheldon etc, and me, I couldn’t even finish an Enid Blyton.
The good thing about streaming group of students into sets was, the lower sets comprise of very small number of students and the teacher really had the time to concentrate on each student whom was weak like me. So along the line, 5 years in TKC, my English did improve tremendously. I also thank many of my friends back then for never to belittled me of my bad English, instead helped me a lot whenever I seek them for any difficulties that I faced – Aliza Zainal Anuar, Hazatul Farah Abdullah, Fazlin Abu Hassan Shaari, Faridah Jamaluddin (Allahyarhamah), Sri Marni Zainal Abidin, Zurilawati Mohd Zam, Irmawati Muhammad Tahir….. Yup, in TKC – all of us are proud of our name to be said in full. Thus far, I remember majority of TKC friends name in full and of course the nick names too.
In TKC also, that I accepted my MARIO name with an open heart and being proud of it, not like during much younger days that I hated it for people kept asking me – ORANG APA NI? As a kid I used to pester my mami to file an oath and change my name to a simpler one. When she asked me what name do I want to change to, I remember choosing SITI ZAITON for a reason I, myself do not certain.

Studying in a local university, I wouldn’t say mastering English is that essential because we had our assignments, presentations done in Bahasa Malaysia. The one difficulty may be to understand the reference books which many of them are in English.

Working in a private sector with private jobs however, is not easy if the command of English is not good. I have many sub-ordinates under me whom are supposed to make my life easier. Somehow, it is not a smooth ride when I have to check not only the content of a letter, report or whatnot prepared by them but also the ‘English’. Kadang2 sampai lari maksud report when Present Tense and Past Tense are not understood and being jumbled up, don’t talk about Present Perfect Tense or Past Perfect Tense.

I always put my effort to help them with English, I even bought some primary and secondary school text books for English, Dictionaries and Thesaurus with my noble intention to help and to teach. Why school text books and not the advanced English learning referances? To be honest, because the fundamental is not correct! I am not saying I have the best command of English. No I am not, but with little extra capability, I want to share with others just like my friends whom had helped me on days ago.

I do not know for what exact reason that some group of people opposed in PPSMI. Really because they think by so doing the Malay culture soon will die? Or for political reason ? Me don’t know. But if it’s because of reason number one, I think that is so-so shallow. For what I am certain is, I am a no lesser Malay if I can speak English well or even other languages, Mandarin ka, Tamil ka, Thai ka, Nihon-go ka. Look at Senor Mahathir Lokman. People respect him for his capability mastering multiple of languages. But does that makes him a Mat Salleh for speaking English, or a French for speaking Francois, or a Phillipino for speaking Tagalog?
Takkan boleh diubah raut Melayu di muka – Eh! This could be a not so true statement in the current plastic surgery era - Michael Jackson could change, still DNA inside us can’t never change.

Sama jugak, that it makes me a no lesser Kelantanese, not even a second if I speak Bahasa Malaysia and not in Kelantanese dialect with non-Kelantanese people. Due respect to others.

So along with the announcement made by the Cabinet, they were saying some measures would be taken to uplift the English standard among school children. I want to see what measures they are talking about because at the end of the day, the language itself is a branch of knowledge and English for the truth of the matter is the world language, no one can deny it’s importance.

I can say my English is far-far better than my mami (when she speaks no English at all) but I am not proud of that if I cannot help my daughter to be BETTER than me. It's rather 'sayang' if at the age of 20’s, venturing into the working environment and she still need somebody else to correct her grammar … burdening others.

My baby @ 18mths blabbers a lot... but only speaks few words, dajdyy/daddy, pih/fish, schoo/shoes, berr/bird, tact/cat, nak gi/nak lagi, na nak/tak nak, besh/habis !

All in a Day's Work

Ramadhan eid Mubarak is soon coming. This means … cepat-cepat ! kena ganti puasa, for me lah. I am not telling it’s you. I had my fast yesterday and it gave me the similar psychology and physical effect I felt many times fasting.

In the morning I got a bit beleaguered because I couldn’t do the most loved thing to do in the morning, i.e to take breakfast. Should there be standard three times meals a day, I love breakfast the most. I can skip lunch & dinner, but not breakfast. My face go sour if I reach office in the morning with my stomach not being filled. Toast bread with butter spread (melted), toast sandwiches, roti canai, nasi lemak, nasi goreng, nasi dagang, nasi belauk Mok wok /JJ (ni ghaso nok balik kelate lagi nih)… whatever, coupled with good coffee in the morning will bring shine to my face.

Once morning passed, the stressed feeling gradually evaporated and by noon I was just fine with fasting until afternoon. As the day going to late afternoon and nearing breaking fast time, I’d feel a bit more energetic. May be due to psychology move that “breaking fast is soon in time”.

I was able to leave office rather early yesterday that we could made it to a newly operated restaurant at Ampang Water Front about 25 minutes before Azan Maghrib after fetching Nada. The ordered dishes were served to us just at the right instance for Buka Puasa.

After breaking fast I felt even more energetic and enthusiastic. I realized this always happened if I simplify my breaking fast food intake. Benarlah kata junjungan kita Nabi Muhammad s.a.w – Berhenti makan sebelum kenyang. I did finish up my meal which was curry noodle served in a perfect portion for me (not too much – not too little) and a cup of white coffee. Cukup – don’t go more than these or I’ll end up like a python after a kambing feast. I have no scientific evidence to back up of instantaneous energy boost. May be after a full day of relaxation, the digestive system started to gear up and the amount to churn is appropriately taken not burdening the engine.

We reached home and were able to Solat Maghrib berjemaah because the Little Dew was asleep continuing the sleep she had in her Recaro. Again, the happy feeling I felt. We hardly have the chance for jemaah particularly after Nada was born. It’s been a while since our last. Usually we take turns, as one of us has to put an eye on her fear for any of her dangerous act. No – I do not blame Nada for it, more likely “kami yang alpa” not trying hard enough to make time or plan our schedules right for ‘tujuh kali ganda pahala’.

Last night, after close to two years that we moved from Seremban and residing in the current apartment in Ampang that I decided to take a swim at the provided swimming pool. All because I felt I have the energy for it. Then, I thought – alah, I don’t have proper attire for the swim. Anyways, I just scouted thru my dresser drawer and found my size 32, 7 year old Arena tough suit. Mesti dah tak muat, tapi try jugak sarung. And heck ! I can still fit in! Wah – I was even more happy even though I can see the bulge out of tummy part. More sit-ups, please!

I was so ready to plunge into the pool that I also put my swimming cap on. Harris pesan – You make sure do your stretching before swimming or you’ll get cramped. Dalam hati, I said - Ah! I know that. I was a more sports cookie than you are! – che….. berlagak

I am never a good swimmer, sikit-sikit boleh la. After soooooooo long, I was excited last nite that I can still back float and savoring the beauty of night sky. Jaaauuuuuuhhhhhhh, nampak bintang kecik sangat and it was a beautiful star. The light bleeped occasionally. Unexpectedly, no other resident was at the swimming pool last night except for me, it made me assumed that the pool is my private pool and the apartment blocks belong to me. One rich lady swimming here, okay…. Pergh, seronok angan-angan MAK jenin ni….

Half hour of swimming, more of it – berendam…. I knew it was enough for me. Upon having my neck, shoulder, arms, legs and lungs worked in a rhythmic manner of few laps of butterfly strokes, I definitely felt the freshness.

The saga continued with warm bath back at home, I decided to pamper myself with self made tomato and cucumber mask. I diligently applied the 3 musts for facial treats of many people – wash, toner & moisturize. He, he – usually I left out the last two or only do the first two or kadang-kadang langsung takder. Ye, ye, Ms Amber Chia says – no such thing as ugly women only is lazy women. Me lor.

It was close to 10pm after I done with self attention. I rushed like mad with the usual house chores, washing Nada’s bottles and food containers, sterilizing, sweeping, folding washed laundry after ‘weekend balik kampung’, home filing etc. Having all the boring stuffs done, I still had my physical and emotional feeling rejuvenated. Mungkin itulah nikmat berpuasa.

So last nite, even though I skipped to watch my favorite documentary – Air Crash Investigation on NatGeo… I didn’t do the same for Desperate Housewives aired at 10.30pm (Itu la pasal… I was rushing like nobody’s business, to watch tv!).

Suspen nya… Mike Delfino kahwin dengan sapa la pulak ni? My guess is Katherine.

Yang Benar Kadang-kadang Amat Sakit

My boss is now intensively renovating his house in Sierramas and keeps complaining to me how bad the original layout is, though it was previously designed by a renown architect. (I shall not mention whom).
I asked him why he bought the house in the first place if he hated the design so much. He told me, he didn’t buy the house but it is a contra asset over a debt own by his friend to him. Oooooh! That must be a lot of money own!

He also once told me, that he had a Stavic… also being a contra unit over a debt own to him.

Eh! Peliknya boss aku ni, so I asked him if he’s a “professional” A-long or something, because if he is – I am cool with it but…., it doesn’t go well with the Professional Architect’s Code of Conduct! He he..
We laughed over the ‘classy’ joke I tried to make. In a more serious tone on the other hand, my boss made it clear to me that he would be so much more richer if he is an A-long ! Bagi pinjam duit – ada interest. Ini sen pun tarak.
He let it out to me, many friends came to him for money but it is so difficult to get them to pay back. When money want, everyone has a hand phone and keep calling, but when it’s paying time…. It’s like the phone was dropped in a pool of water or had lost. Not a single ring.

I shared with him my grievances too, Not much – just the gist. People owing me might not be as big as his, not even a tiny-weeny fraction of his, but the total amount in accordance to my last calculation… I was already able to buy a standard Kancil in cash. Sedih rasa hati ni sebenarnya, when I know I worked my ass out like a donkey to earn a living, orang pinjam duit… then diam je.

One may ask me, how can it happen to me for letting my money out quite much. Hanya yang empunya diri yang tahu. When somebody came to me asking for help, I feel I must help. Sincere or not.. it’s between me and Allah s.w.t. Ada yang rasa tak ikhlas bagi, and at the same time rasa kena bagi. Berbelah bagi!
Especially when I know, one is not asking to owe because one will never pay me back… one actually ask for money but mention as pinjam. I felt guilty if I didn’t help. That’s my weakness, such big soft spot for people when they ‘beg’. (And how can my mami still say I am stubborn and hard headed?)

I totally agree with Suze Orman as I watched Oprah Winfrey Show that she said …. She doesn’t believe when people keep saying that they have no money at all to be set aside for savings and to pay debts. More of it, it’s because people keep failing to prioritize the importance. Say what we like about the statement by this Yahudi, I find there are truth in it.

Some moron will say… what about people who is miskin tegar… when they barely have enough to eat, what more for saving. I would say, kalau miskin tegar senang pulak, kita dengan tenang hati boleh anggap sedekah, and I think a miskin tegar would be better than many of us to distinguish on the priority, that is to survive, then dahulukan bayar hutang. But, I want to ask you… are you one miskin tegar? … that you can’t honor your debts? Answer honestly.

At times, I do owe money too, usually for lunches. Harris helps me with withdrawing money from ATM. So, if he is not around, I am short of cash at a rare occasion due to my laziness to the ATM. Then, at night before going to bed I will tell him that I owe this person this much of money (usually 10 bucks), and please make sure to pay the person in the event malaikat Maut has been ordered to take me during my sleep. Yela…. what if MATI dulu?

(I so can see many people will hate me for saying this out, but heck… I am not in Akademi Fantasia trying to be liked and popular so that I’ll get more votes. And proof me wrong if what I say is wrong.)
I do not anticipate or do not want to anticipate the person to halalkan my debt just because I no longer exist in this world.

I do need money as much as every one else does and I had my difficult time too. But I can’t go to anyone except to Allah s.w.t and myself, the most Harris. Some people are lucky to have their parents whom at a time can help them financially.

Buy a car – parents may help with down payment.
Buy a house – parents may help with a portion not covered by the bank.
Out of job – parents may help a bit here and there. etc

It is nothing wrong with that and I totally support the giving for those affordable parents, but me, I don’t want to expect that from my mami, I know I can’t expect that.

Strange thing …. the same parent may help own children for ease of their life but at the same time hesitated to pay debt own to others sebab fikir…. Orang kelantan kata “tok ‘de duik” means - not enough money.

I keep telling myself, maybe it’s my wrong that I didn’t pursue for people to pay me back, then they think I do not mind. I do! Tapi macam mana la nak cakap especially when it comes to family? Sebab masa nak pinjam dia boleh tanya kita. Then after a day, weeks, months, years… minta halal kah? Pun tak tanya juga, nak tunggu orang tanya ke?

Should anyone thinks I am such a ‘berkira’ and stingy person for writing this out, then I can say… one still does not know me well. Indeed I am calculative on matter like this because it is a debt own, but I have never raised back or made fuss on any deeds that I've done. What given is totally different than what being owe.

Please, please let us all then respect each other by honoring our debts in a prideful and dignity way. Not by having our neck, hands and feet chained and locked up in a tiny room like a dog. We all know that the ethics of owing money is so simple. WE MUST PAY BACK!

Tak kira la hutang kat orang ke, bank ke, a-long ke, PTPTN ke, MARA ke, hutang kutu ke, credit card providers ke … dan macam-macam Aznil eh, macam-macam lagi.

Disclaimer :
The writer of this entry shall not be withheld responsible for any kesedihan hati or kemurungan jiwa to any person due to the write-up directly or indirectly.

She however, will be so much grateful to debtors should they choose to pay her. She wishes : May we always stay as family and friends.

Mommy sad ? or angry ? or frustrated ? I is not sure.

lil BIG Surprise

Harris was duty for outstation in Penang for almost a week. Bukan jauh pun.. Penang jek.

I thought – Habislah, I would go mad handling stuffs all on my own especially in the morning. I imagined Nada clinging to me while preparing her meals to be brought to the nanny’s, while ironing, while packing her clothes and diapers, while making the bed, she yelling for me while taking my bath…. And a lot more. I imagined my voice would be as loud as her cries for morning teeth brush, getting her to pee........ annoying all of our neighbors.

The idea of having me to drive to work makes my emotional feeling even more drawn down!

Surprisingly, the little drama queen didn’t give me much trouble. Almost every day she was only to wake up when I almost completed the MUST-DO-LIST in the morning. It could also because I improvised the morning MUST-DO-LIST to a much shorter list like taking out ironing, packing etc and completed the chores at night before going to bed. I also skipped sweeping the house floor in the morning as I relied for the sweeping done at night and hope for the same cleanliness. I skipped preparing breakfast for myself and had it at the office food court instead.

Lil Dew also didn’t give me tough time in the evenings. She had been very co-operative right from the moment I fetched her until bedtime. No rejection to even gosok gigi ! (Ini paling susah ni…ada mood punya). I was happy for apart of able to complete the house chores in a speedy time (not being disturbed) I could watch Prison Break, Desperate Housewife, CSI at the peace of mind as she was already sleeping by 9.30pm.

Bonus : I watched Recap MJ – Memorial Service at Staples Center on E! too. R.I.P Jacko. :( My warmest hug to Paris Jackson.

What’s the lil BIG surprise, then? Hmm… it seems I handled all these normal stuff to most of us quite well even though single handedly, but being used to collaborate with Harris…. it is definitely so-so-so much easier to have him around. There is no written description which chores belong to whom but we have been gracing it well. He does his part and I do mine.

The few days that Harris was not home prompted me for a small surprise moment for him as appreciation of how much he is so wanted at home. (of course not only for the chores la…….)
Nothing so fanciful, I bought a cake at Secret Recipe and request for a write up on top of the cake.

I was wondering where should I place the cake? In the fridge? Uh…. Not so umph! I decided to reposition our shoes cabinet facing directly the house main door. This would definitely make a surprise because the circulation would almost be blocked.
Made sure top of the cabinet was clean and dressed it with a table cloth, cake plate and cake! So is once he open the door…. TADAAA!!!! Nice, yummy cake to greet him. More importantly, what’s written on the cake.

The problem was, I do not know what time he’d reach home and I couldn’t just leave the cake on the cabinet. I didn’t want to ask him what time he’d reach home too, feared for he suspecting me. The usual time he’d be home after each of Penang trip was about 11plus pm.

I set the place prepared without the cake (which was still in the fridge) and by 10pm switched the house lights off except for two bulbs. One at the main entrance circulation right above the prepared cabinet and the other by the bedrooms like the norm we do every time before going to bed.

I was preparing scrambled boiled eggs for next day breakfast when I heard the clicking sound of him unlocking the grill door, I peeped trough beneath door assuring it was him, dashed to the fridge, took out the cake, put it on the cake plate, switched off the kitchen light and tiptoed hurriedly to the bedroom.

Harris being himself, always a cool person – I heard him opened the door but not a single sound came out of himself. If it’s me… I would be shouting my lungs out. (.. and I call my daughter drama queen?). I just stayed in the bedroom and noticed him walking to and fro, don’t know what was he doing. I took a peep – oh! Rupanya dia ambik gambar….

x-cuse the photo - blakang cabinet pulak

I noticed his steps coming in while I acted sleeping. The next thing I know, he slowly came to me with ear to ear grin saying : Thank You and a peck on my cheek after that bringing meaning, – I miss you too.
Awwwww, how sweet. Cute, eh! (I so can see some people smiling while reading - or maybe I am the one smiling while writing…. He he)

Ok Folks : TAMAT – TAMAT, that was the lil BIG surprise. We then apa lagi….. belasah makan kek le malam-malam buta pun. Dah tak kira kalori lagi.

Ya, I know… I know… whomever that marries me is such a lucky lad!

……………. Not so pretty on the outside but superbly gorgeous in the inside. Smart and creative. Ini namanya : boasting to boost up self confidence.
All of us need it every now and then. So start boasting, people.

It was part choc mud and part cheeze choc cakes. Yumm…

(Yup miss lavender, Kalau kat Kuala ader Secret Recipe…. pergilah beli, nampak macam telan air liur dah tu!)

Secretary Memory

I took this one quiz on FB titled What type of memory do you have and I got the answer as Secretary Memory. Apparently according to the quiz, I tend to memorize things into minor details and in fact I am a walking notebook myself. Fuh, sounds scary when it mentioned of worries for my brain for remembering too many things.

There is a question within the quiz asking if I could notice should anyone touched my work place during my absence. This is such a funny score, because it happens to me all the time. If I reach office looking at my place knowing somebody had mess it around, I’ll go screaming asking.... because I definitely know how it looks before I leave the place. Not really on how it looks but I know I wouldn’t mix up things. I always tell my collegues, I really do not mind who ever wants to use the files at my place or my personal reference books or notes or guidelines or authorities checklists or whatever but, please put it back to the right place. It is not only for my own convenience but for everybody else. Somehow, I don’t understand why is it so difficult for many people to follow such a simple instruction. It is just like library, for god sake.
At home, Harris already got the habit to abide by my ‘rules’. At times he tested me like, Sayang.. where is the June edition of MA (Majalah Arkitek). Without even looking at the shelves, I could tell him, top most shelf, 6th from the left after all the Architectural books. Again, Not so much I can remember where it is, but the ‘system’ is there, I placed the MA (only MA) after books on the same shelf. It’s the sixth because June is the sixth month. Not very difficult.

Another question asked what do I remember about books I have read. Usually, for those I like.. memang I can remember the phrases well and I can visualize the scene. So is with movies or dramas that I like. I love Grey’s Anatomy series and tend to watch for the re-run : because I love it. So, for re-run… I’d blabber to Harris the lines, as if I am acting. Same to movies, I love.. I love.. I love Braveheart, The Patriot, Knight’s Tale .. epics basically. If there’s any re-run, I always say the lines before it is said and trying to imitate the accent – Harris laugh at me. Because I can remember it well. Not that I want.. but it just happens. There was a re-run of John-Q movie on TV2 the last two Saturdays (see, I remember when it was) and I like this movie starred by Denzel Washington much. It was about a father who was fighting so hard for his son’s heart surgery and in the desperate action, he took over a hospital in ransom to his son’s operation. Cool, huh! There are many scenes in the movie that I like especially when Denzel Washington is mad-angry and when he is of a true man consoling his deteriorating son. Wah… I then ‘acted’ his lines… Harris said – You are one kind of a person. Not like I just watched the movie, I guess it was years ago. It is parked in my subconscious mind la, I think. I got inherited with the scenes, I shed tears macam la I was watching it for the first time! He he.

*Sekadar gambar hiasan

Me being an architect, in-fact an only architect in the office besides the principal - one may know how many projects I am handling. If not all, most la kan. But I am not proud of the numbers of the project I handle. It is just a number and it means nothing if I can’t handle it well. In a project development, there are certain datas that an architect should know. It’s like a rule a thumb, you know it by heart. I do not know how, but I can remember most of the datas without referring to any drawings or documents. Like land size, plot ratio, density, numbers of units, numbers of carparks, built-up area, unit types and many-many more for most projects, especially big ones that carries big fees ler. I have clients to call me just to ask on the local authority file number! And I remember.

Now I could understand why every time I wanted to buy those electronic gadgets to help me in organizing, keeping datas, planning and stuffs, I thought… eh, I am not that of a very busy woman and I don’t really need such gadget. So, selalu tak jadi.

For the truth of the matter, I realize now… I am busy, it’s just that I am still capable to plan, organize, store datas inside my own head up till now! Without the help of electronic devices yet. That means I still do not need those high tech gadget like blackberry la, PDA la, palm la.. or even classy hand phones yet.
Oh! may be the help to store phone numbers. So, if only phone numbers, I don’t need the so hi-tech phones. My current phone is just fine.
Not like many youngsters nowadays, whom just finish school or not even finish school yet, pester their parents for ‘good’- expensive hand phone. Low memory? Opps jangan terasa, anyone. A not need to me is not necessarily not need to anyone else, I believe.

I thought I should chill in remembering things fear for my brain getting ‘overheated’. But then again, ahhhh, it’s just a quiz for play-play. Babes… not like a second hand car when people prefer to buy the not much used one, in contradiction, i don't think god want us to bring back the not much used brain….. :)
Why worry then? My brain is not going to explode just because I am able to memorize minute details. Till then, I am grateful to Allah s.w.t for selecting me, one of His humbly to be granted with such a great gift, though.. Ia hanyalah pinjaman semata. I really hope I’ll always be able to make full use of it and not to waste any bit or to be used in an unwanted way. Alhamdulillah.