Thursday, January 22, 2009

Nada's Notes for Cik Byie

Dearest Cik Byie,

There is nothing I could ever do to thank you for agreeing to take care of me while mommy is away for 2 days to undergo a minor surgery at Seremban Specialist Hospital.

She would love to have me around but I don’t think the hospital will allow me into the Operation Theatre. I guess daddy will be busy attending to mommy that he will book a hotel in Seremban near to the hospital for a night stay.

For the ease of you, I just let you know in advance my day-night-day schedule. The usual that I do, Mommy and my nanny, Aunty Ani do.

7.00 ~ 7.30am :

I usually wake up at around this time and my soaked diaper really need a change. Mommy will put on slight baby lotion at my bottom before putting on Huggies-Dry diaper to prevent the skin being intact with urine.
A good 6 oz of milk will make me happy. Mommy then will let me laze around.

9.00am :
It’s time for my morning bath. At this hour, I prefer warm water. I have breakfast after bath. Biscuits and plain water will do for me.
Psst… Don’t tell mommy, but I really hate plain water! Usually, I will sip a little bit just to make her happy and spew it out when she is not seeing. He he.
Me, smart - huh?

10.00 ~ 10.30am :
I take morning nap. Don’t be surprise, that my nap could be very short. Only 30 minutes or so. I’ll show sign by rubbing my eyes, scratching my head or just making lot of noise if I am sleepy.
P/s – Please check my diaper after the nap.

11.00 ~ 12.00nn :
Playing time!…WeeeeEEE! Hopefully I’ll be a good company to Abg Aqil and Kak Izz.

12.00 noon :
I need to have my lunch. To make it easy for you, mommy will supply her home made puree which you can simply mix it with rice porridge. If you do not have the time to make porridge, mixing and mashing it with newly cooked rice while it is still hot and soft will do.
Or you can also just let the ready puree thaw or melt in my feeding bowl at room temperature, pre-heat in a hot water and feed me.
Don’t be frighten with the amount of lunch that I take. I eat a lot! But if you think I have taken enough and I still shout for more, just ignore! I can be unreasonable.

12.45 ~ 1.00pm :
Please give me a quick bath. I don’t mind cool water. After having lunch, being bathe and freshly cleaned clothes and diaper….. Ahhhhh, it is so nice to have another 7 oz of milk to satisfy what mommy called my ‘7 series - BMW’ capacity tummy.

1.30 ~ 3.30pm :
After having lunch and milk with good full tummy, I usually take the afternoon sleep at around this period. It should be longer than my morning nap, but you see… I am a very light day-time sleeper. I may easily wake-up from my sleep.
P/s – Again, after sleep please check my diaper. I think I need a change.

4.00 ~ 6.00pm :
More playing time. If we are home, daddy usually brings me to the playground or walk around our apartment compound from 5.30pm while mommy does her cooking.

6.00pm :
It’s dinner time at home. We’ll sit at dining table and snack for me, please. You can feed me with mashed bananas, purees or whatever that you think is appropriate. Should it be baby biscuit, mommy mix it with water and feed me. And at the same time, she lets me hold one in my hand for me to practice my motor skill of eating. I prefer to have puree that mommy makes for me.

6.45 ~ 7.00pm :
It’s time for bath. Again, I don’t mind cool water if the weather is hot and sunny but if it is raining, I prefer warm water. Having been cleaned, with my night pyjamas on and changed of diaper to Huggies-Dry-Comfort, please make me 6 oz of milk. Nyam-nyam.

8.30 ~ 9.00pm :
Sigh… mommy always force me to sleep at this early hour, I think. Mostly, I will make a lot of fuss because I still want to play.
Mommy bribe me with a good 8 oz of milk and I happily gulp every single oz. After my drink, I should be high of milk and start playing my own fingers with my eyes closed. I will make a lot of turning here and there.

Tips for you, I prefer dim light and my lullaby is any reciting of Ziqir. Since I move around a lot during my sleep making blanket is not a choice for me, mommy ensure my shirt is tucked inside the pants and put socks on.

I should be sleeping through out the night. If I ever wake up, usually.. I just need some pat on my back to know there is somebody near me.
But if I give a loud cry, check my diaper and… 6 oz of milk should be able to put me back to sleep.

Well Cik Byie, this is my usual routine. Of course along the line I can be pooping, crying without specific reason or just simply being naughty. Hopefully you can bear with me.

One thing for sure, this schedule is just for reference. Should it runs out… what the heck! don’t bother. You can always do it your way as long as it has no harm on me. After all, you already have 2 gorgeous kids of your own. How wrong can things be.

I will try my best to be in my best behavior and not being cranky, but…….. I do not promise….. Alamak!? EheH.

Thank you so much Cik Byie.


Nada Firas

oops... that's me!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


It was such an experience for both Harris and I to visit our friend who was critically ill on the last two Sundays.
Harris knew her since they were attending architectural school in Skudai and I got to know her when I was working in Seremban in the Year 2000 until mid 2001. All three of us at that time were in the same office.

The night before the visit, Harris received a message informing of her condition. Not knowing at all of her critical status, we then arranged with few other friends to pay her a visit at the Pusat Perubatan Universiti Malaya.
When we arrived at the PPUM for 12 noon visiting hours, we were informed that she had been discharged and had returned home. So, we decided to trail her to Kuala Pilah and arrived at her visitors packed home at around 5.00pm.

Knowingly it is a SUNAT to recite and contribute the surah of Yassin when visiting an ill patient, that was what I did. I also asked for forgiveness for any of my wrong doings and surely I forgive for whatever her wrongs to me if there is any at all. She looked so different from the last time I saw her. With the oxygen supply tube in her nostrils, her breath was difficult and short, I couldn’t bear to see.

At 6.15pm, we depart for return to KL and stopped at Seremban R&R by PLUS highway for solat. Just about to leave the surau, I met other friend who also went for the visit.
She informed me that our friend,......... had passed away minutes before Maghrib……, which then I elongate the news to Harris.

Our friend was 38, leaving a husband and 3 beautiful children with the eldest daughter only at 10 due to cancer. From what being told to us, she found out about the cancer after a fibroid removal surgery in August last year. Sadly, it was at difficult Stage 4 and the cancerous cell was spreading fast.

Life is so unpredictable and short.

Later in e-mails, Harris circle of friends were spreading the news. It dismays me to know that she once informed a friend, of all the things in her life ….. she’ll regret the most for not able to raise her children with her own hands and see them grow up.

I believe, that is the one thing any mother couldn’t put up with. Not even the thought of it……

I told Harris, I am so scared….. thinking the para-urethral excision surgery that I have to go through in the coming four days as I pen this entry.
Close to my 34 age, this is the second time I will be admitted to hospital. The first was for giving birth to Nada almost a year ago.
Advise from my OB-GYN, the para-urethral is supposed to rarely occurs. As happened to me, it doesn’t look bad and the surgery should be a minor one.
Still, I am so-so scared. I hate hospitals. It paralyze me!

Apart from being terrified, I reminded Harris that should anything unwanted happen to me, my mami will still be staying in the house that we bought in Kota Bharu for as long as she wants … as long as she lives with no pay.
That he should never thought one day he’ll go back to live same place unless he’s invited. That is my mami’s house.

Harris comforted me giving his assurance that I should trust him and things will be just the way I want it to be. I responded to him to be careful with his words as it is not him I do not trust but his ‘wife’!

Who knows he might end up with a stupid moron thinking whatever in his name will be hers too! It has to be ironed out on the intended purpose of why we wanted to buy the house. It's for my mami. For that, I commit to shoulder the responsibility and at the most time has been paying for installments. The fact that the house is insured, it will be free of financing and makes it even more rightful for my mami to live in the house happily.
Should it happens the other ways due to him and his wife foolishness, I told Harris… I vow that I’ll strangle them both while they are having sex! (O yes…. I do speak to my husband that way)

Rude it may seem. Respectfully, I enlightened to Harris that it is my duty to place to him the mistakes he might do before it comes about and not after.


Sunday, January 18, 2009


My dear girl is soon reaching 12 months in another 2 weeks, which can be equally saying as celebrating her first year birthday!
For me, I have a mix feeling towards it. So happy that she is gonna be one and very-very-very sad that I haven’t got enough of her year one.

It is a bad thing that the percentage of my SAD is bigger than my HAPPY.
I feel like putting her back into my womb and start it all over again except for the painful giving birth part.

She grew up too fast for me. The fact that I am a working mother, further cuts down my time spent with her. Sometimes, I deny myself in believing facts such as when her nanny told me about her new developments that she was able to roll onto her tummy until I seen it with my own eyes. I even record the date of her first time in her Baby Book according to my first time seeing whatever new development.
What the heck … I’ll let her know later when she understands. At least, that is the guide … “it’s mommy fist time seeing you…. roll, on all four, crawl, sit up straight on your own, drink from the beaker, taking first step, …. And more”

I guess, that is the painful price I have to pay for not able to be with her round the clock.

As Nada ventured into her 11 month, I started to decrease the amount of my home made puree stock in the freezer. The usual one and a half week stock became a week stock. I decided to more freshly cook her meals in the morning before going to work and bring to the nanny’s. It is solely because I feel she has taken puree so much, she might get bored and I want to let her has the taste of toddler food… more of textured and chunkier foodie. Along to it, I alternate with purees.
Four days ago, she had her first pasta. It’s a recipe I got from watching The Naked Chef by Jamie Oliver. Was it Naked Chef? It could be other of his many shows.
Jamie used spaghetti but I used macaroni instead.

It was Macaroni Beef with Steamed Cinnamon Asparagus. Sounds good? It smells good too!

Fetching Nada after work at her nanny’s, I asked if Nada likes it or not? Her nanny happily let me know that Nada has no refusal at all… and seems to like it. Fuh… worth my effort. Prolonging the usual ‘bual-bual’, her nanny informed me … “Saya rasa sikit masakan tu. Tawar. Saya letak garam!!!” in her Indonesian dialect.

I thought…. What the f***!

I, myself have already go against the advise in the many books on Baby Food that I read for not to add salt and sugar by adding itsy-bitsy-tiny-winy little amount of salt, and now she added for more!!!!!!

Aduh, macam nak meletup – Of course, that can only happen inside me. Politely, I told the nanny.. Well, next time you don’t to have to put any salt in any of Nada’s meal…. with a BIG FAKE SMILE on my face.

Again… I guess, that is the super painful price I have to pay for not able to be with Nada round the clock……

Among all, yesterday’s repeat incident broke my heart the most.
Like usual, Harris will unpack Nada’s stuff from the bag once we returned home after fetching her. Taking out the towel, Harris told me that it smell cigarette’s smoke.

I have told the nanny before, should her husband wants to smoke, please avoid the children. But, how on earth I can control it not to happen?
I take a great deal on health care and cleanliness. It’s almost my daily routine to sweep house floor twice a day. It gets tighter on weekends that I only complete my cleaning by sweeping using the conventional broom for the first round, follows by vacuuming to ensure the tiny dust between floor tiles, carpet, sofa, dining chair being removed, then moping the floor, disinfecting Nada’s toys while waiting the floor to dry and lastly wiping the floor using Magic Clean cloth.
I make sure only sterile bottles to be used for her feeding……. and others. To me, that’s the least that I can do. Alhamdulillah, I am so grateful that close to 12 months of age, I only need to bear Nada catching fever for 3 times. Once was longer than two days. It was at the 8 month and during Aidilfitri. She had measles. I pray for Allah swt to always bless my prayers for her good health.

Thinking my girl inhaling the cigarettes smoke and damaging her lungs, brain cell, blood cells….. my heart shattered.

Is this also a scorching painful price I have to pay?

I desperately need a wiling to listen to me helper, whom can daily come over to my place to take care of Nada while I’m working. I don’t mind paying a maid’s pay with No house chores required.

Current decision, come Monday…… I will make a survey for Nursery, but I know for sure … there will be other painful incidents to happen due to this decision.

This entry… is dedicated to my dear cousin, Azmadie – stop smoking, will ya!