Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A VOW

It was such an experience for both Harris and I to visit our friend who was critically ill on the last two Sundays.
Harris knew her since they were attending architectural school in Skudai and I got to know her when I was working in Seremban in the Year 2000 until mid 2001. All three of us at that time were in the same office.

The night before the visit, Harris received a message informing of her condition. Not knowing at all of her critical status, we then arranged with few other friends to pay her a visit at the Pusat Perubatan Universiti Malaya.
When we arrived at the PPUM for 12 noon visiting hours, we were informed that she had been discharged and had returned home. So, we decided to trail her to Kuala Pilah and arrived at her visitors packed home at around 5.00pm.

Knowingly it is a SUNAT to recite and contribute the surah of Yassin when visiting an ill patient, that was what I did. I also asked for forgiveness for any of my wrong doings and surely I forgive for whatever her wrongs to me if there is any at all. She looked so different from the last time I saw her. With the oxygen supply tube in her nostrils, her breath was difficult and short, I couldn’t bear to see.

At 6.15pm, we depart for return to KL and stopped at Seremban R&R by PLUS highway for solat. Just about to leave the surau, I met other friend who also went for the visit.
She informed me that our friend,......... had passed away minutes before Maghrib……, which then I elongate the news to Harris.

Our friend was 38, leaving a husband and 3 beautiful children with the eldest daughter only at 10 due to cancer. From what being told to us, she found out about the cancer after a fibroid removal surgery in August last year. Sadly, it was at difficult Stage 4 and the cancerous cell was spreading fast.

Life is so unpredictable and short.

Later in e-mails, Harris circle of friends were spreading the news. It dismays me to know that she once informed a friend, of all the things in her life ….. she’ll regret the most for not able to raise her children with her own hands and see them grow up.

I believe, that is the one thing any mother couldn’t put up with. Not even the thought of it……

I told Harris, I am so scared….. thinking the para-urethral excision surgery that I have to go through in the coming four days as I pen this entry.
Close to my 34 age, this is the second time I will be admitted to hospital. The first was for giving birth to Nada almost a year ago.
Advise from my OB-GYN, the para-urethral is supposed to rarely occurs. As happened to me, it doesn’t look bad and the surgery should be a minor one.
Still, I am so-so scared. I hate hospitals. It paralyze me!

Apart from being terrified, I reminded Harris that should anything unwanted happen to me, my mami will still be staying in the house that we bought in Kota Bharu for as long as she wants … as long as she lives with no pay.
That he should never thought one day he’ll go back to live same place unless he’s invited. That is my mami’s house.

Harris comforted me giving his assurance that I should trust him and things will be just the way I want it to be. I responded to him to be careful with his words as it is not him I do not trust but his ‘wife’!

Who knows he might end up with a stupid moron thinking whatever in his name will be hers too! It has to be ironed out on the intended purpose of why we wanted to buy the house. It's for my mami. For that, I commit to shoulder the responsibility and at the most time has been paying for installments. The fact that the house is insured, it will be free of financing and makes it even more rightful for my mami to live in the house happily.
Should it happens the other ways due to him and his wife foolishness, I told Harris… I vow that I’ll strangle them both while they are having sex! (O yes…. I do speak to my husband that way)

Rude it may seem. Respectfully, I enlightened to Harris that it is my duty to place to him the mistakes he might do before it comes about and not after.

ALL THIS IS BECAUSE HE IS MY HUSBAND AND I LOVE HIM WHOLEHEARTEDLY.

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