Monday, July 20, 2009

Yang Benar Kadang-kadang Amat Sakit

My boss is now intensively renovating his house in Sierramas and keeps complaining to me how bad the original layout is, though it was previously designed by a renown architect. (I shall not mention whom).
I asked him why he bought the house in the first place if he hated the design so much. He told me, he didn’t buy the house but it is a contra asset over a debt own by his friend to him. Oooooh! That must be a lot of money own!

He also once told me, that he had a Stavic… also being a contra unit over a debt own to him.

Eh! Peliknya boss aku ni, so I asked him if he’s a “professional” A-long or something, because if he is – I am cool with it but…., it doesn’t go well with the Professional Architect’s Code of Conduct! He he..
We laughed over the ‘classy’ joke I tried to make. In a more serious tone on the other hand, my boss made it clear to me that he would be so much more richer if he is an A-long ! Bagi pinjam duit – ada interest. Ini sen pun tarak.
He let it out to me, many friends came to him for money but it is so difficult to get them to pay back. When money want, everyone has a hand phone and keep calling, but when it’s paying time…. It’s like the phone was dropped in a pool of water or had lost. Not a single ring.

I shared with him my grievances too, Not much – just the gist. People owing me might not be as big as his, not even a tiny-weeny fraction of his, but the total amount in accordance to my last calculation… I was already able to buy a standard Kancil in cash. Sedih rasa hati ni sebenarnya, when I know I worked my ass out like a donkey to earn a living, orang pinjam duit… then diam je.

One may ask me, how can it happen to me for letting my money out quite much. Hanya yang empunya diri yang tahu. When somebody came to me asking for help, I feel I must help. Sincere or not.. it’s between me and Allah s.w.t. Ada yang rasa tak ikhlas bagi, and at the same time rasa kena bagi. Berbelah bagi!
Especially when I know, one is not asking to owe because one will never pay me back… one actually ask for money but mention as pinjam. I felt guilty if I didn’t help. That’s my weakness, such big soft spot for people when they ‘beg’. (And how can my mami still say I am stubborn and hard headed?)

I totally agree with Suze Orman as I watched Oprah Winfrey Show that she said …. She doesn’t believe when people keep saying that they have no money at all to be set aside for savings and to pay debts. More of it, it’s because people keep failing to prioritize the importance. Say what we like about the statement by this Yahudi, I find there are truth in it.

Some moron will say… what about people who is miskin tegar… when they barely have enough to eat, what more for saving. I would say, kalau miskin tegar senang pulak, kita dengan tenang hati boleh anggap sedekah, and I think a miskin tegar would be better than many of us to distinguish on the priority, that is to survive, then dahulukan bayar hutang. But, I want to ask you… are you one miskin tegar? … that you can’t honor your debts? Answer honestly.

At times, I do owe money too, usually for lunches. Harris helps me with withdrawing money from ATM. So, if he is not around, I am short of cash at a rare occasion due to my laziness to the ATM. Then, at night before going to bed I will tell him that I owe this person this much of money (usually 10 bucks), and please make sure to pay the person in the event malaikat Maut has been ordered to take me during my sleep. Yela…. what if MATI dulu?
(I so can see many people will hate me for saying this out, but heck… I am not in Akademi Fantasia trying to be liked and popular so that I’ll get more votes. And proof me wrong if what I say is wrong.)
I do not anticipate or do not want to anticipate the person to halalkan my debt just because I no longer exist in this world.

I do need money as much as every one else does and I had my difficult time too. But I can’t go to anyone except to Allah s.w.t and myself, the most Harris. Some people are lucky to have their parents whom at a time can help them financially.

Buy a car – parents may help with down payment.
Buy a house – parents may help with a portion not covered by the bank.
Out of job – parents may help a bit here and there. etc

It is nothing wrong with that and I totally support the giving for those affordable parents, but me, I don’t want to expect that from my mami, I know I can’t expect that.

Strange thing …. the same parent may help own children for ease of their life but at the same time hesitated to pay debt own to others sebab fikir…. Orang kelantan kata “tok ‘de duik” means - not enough money.

I keep telling myself, maybe it’s my wrong that I didn’t pursue for people to pay me back, then they think I do not mind. I do! Tapi macam mana la nak cakap especially when it comes to family? Sebab masa nak pinjam dia boleh tanya kita. Then after a day, weeks, months, years… minta halal kah? Pun tak tanya juga, nak tunggu orang tanya ke?

Should anyone thinks I am such a ‘berkira’ and stingy person for writing this out, then I can say… one still does not know me well. Indeed I am calculative on matter like this because it is a debt own, but I have never raised back or made fuss on any deeds that I've done. What given is totally different than what being owe.

Please, please let us all then respect each other by honoring our debts in a prideful and dignity way. Not by having our neck, hands and feet chained and locked up in a tiny room like a dog. We all know that the ethics of owing money is so simple. WE MUST PAY BACK!
Tak kira la hutang kat orang ke, bank ke, a-long ke, PTPTN ke, MARA ke, hutang kutu ke, credit card providers ke … dan macam-macam Aznil eh, macam-macam lagi.

Disclaimer :
The writer of this entry shall not be withheld responsible for any kesedihan hati or kemurungan jiwa to any person due to the write-up directly or indirectly.

She however, will be so much grateful to debtors should they choose to pay her. She wishes : May we always stay as family and friends.

Mommy sad ? or angry ? or frustrated ? I is not sure.

No comments: