Addiction ?

I think I have a sad addiction here or….. may be not. Why do I say so? Let me tell ya the dilemma.

At times when we are needed to, Harris and I drive separate cars to work. I always hated to drive.. and it is a bad thing for me to drive to work also. I tend to stay longer in the office trying to finish up my work because at the back of my mind, I know Harris is not waiting to fetch me downstairs. (I usually unintentionally made him waiting… sometimes up to two hours or more… kalau laki orang lain sure bini dah kena fire!!!…)

So, if I were late… Harris will help to fetch Nada from her Nanny’s. The issue here is, we do not have a car seat in the other car… our old-trustworthy-most loved 1.3L Wira which we will never sell… with plate number WHM 6840, (Now you know where I get my blog page title?). Harris calls her “FELARI”. Harris says… all of the others could come and go but this one will stay with us for as long as she could move. Well, I dreamt a HUMVEE one day so I could just langgar any morons on the road

I don’t really like the idea of placing Nada at the passenger seat unattended though it is just a short 5 minutes drive from the Nanny’s place to our home. Ya…ya…ya… of course Harris fasten the seat belt. I noticed that Harris didn’t go home straight after fetching Nada lately. He sometimes makes way to the Night Market if it is Friday or to the neighborhood convenience store for Nada’s formula or such. This would take longer routes to home, isn’t it?

Say what you like, but this Madam always prefer that cheeky little monster to be ‘tied’ to a car seat. More to her safety… but also to my good. I don’t reckon inculcating a habit for Dew not sitting in a car seat. Once she thought she is free by not sitting in one with her dad, she would want to do the same thing with Mommy.

I know myself, that I am not a very patience person and easily agitated by the simplest reason. So, I can’t be having a toddler wanting to walk about in the car while I am driving. Further more, like I always say… I hate to drive… not shame to admit, I am not a good driver either. Meaning to say, I have to stay focus with my driving with out having to shout my lungs out : “NADA! DON’T STAND!” or “NADA! SIT DOWN!” or “NADA! STAY PUT!”

I believe with the above long winded telling, I have justified myself… that Dew need another car seat!…. or errrrrr…… is this just my addiction?

Anyway, I am thinking of getting her a booster type. Light and easy installation. Pink or raspberry or red or orange color. Of course the not so expensive one. Budget around RM 350 ~ 400.

Maybe from GRACO or Safe N Sound.

However, I haven’t really started with my new surveying and goggling. Oh! I am so afraid I would end up with a big hole in my pocket again.

I guess the saving up by means of me tailoring Dew’s dresses thus far allows me to spend on a new car seat, eh? (Kes nak menyedapkan hati………)

And I have just added a new one to my portfolio… I named it The Royal Velvet Sachs dress.

Royal is because the velvet ribbon is in royal blue color.

How do you handle your stress?

It’s 30 minutes past 1 am now. I am in front of the tv watching 703 channel while having my McD Fillet-o-fish (how unhealthy) and of course blogging. It had been a very tiring day, I just reached home about 45 minutes ago. Dew forced herself not to sleep at her usual hour for she waited for me to tuck her to bed and read her bedtime story. Poor baby!

I’ve got thousands of things to do before I eventually hit the bed but I am so lazy to start. Somehow, I have to get it done…. Not to wait until morning comes because list of events had been planned for daylight. Ghee… I give myself another 20 minutes.

Office works is so stressful lately with very tight deadlines for presentations, submissions, issuance of drawings and what not. People say you can’t really manage the cause of stress but you can always try to manage your own stress. Hik! How ah? Any difference?

I have been procrastinating to open up a saving account with Public Bank. Well… I have few pieces of bank checks for my bonus received in February and the payments for my part time jobs which are yet being cashed. The intention is to dump them all in my PB Unit Trust account, which justify the need for me to open up an account. One for auto debit and two for ease of cash transfer.

So, earlier today despite the tight working schedule, I managed to squeeze into my lunchtime and make do to Public Bank which is less than 100metres from my office.

What I really wanted to blog is about the Customer Service in Public Bank, hmmmm.... may be just the one attended to me. I was required to provide her with my ID so that she could scan the ID and my finger prints. Mek jakun sikit… dah lama tak bukak2 akaun ni. The necessary information then appeared at her P.C screen with out me needed to fill in any forms. Thumbs up.. I like that.

She then handed me few sheets of papers full of write-ups and told me. “Sign sini (pointing to the below right corner of the paper), Sign kat semua page.”

I looked at her and asked “Ini apa, dik?” She answered me “Sign lah, kertas…..” treating me as if I am a stupid moron!

I inhaled deeply the thin Oxygen around me and asked again (could be my question was not clear or it could be misinterpreted) “Akak tahu kertas, apa kandungan dia?…”

She half heartedly answered “Tak ada apa ni, signlah…………” in a very annoying tone to me.

ENOUGH!

If water boil at 100degree Celcius, me on the other hand boiled at only a friction over 25 degree Celcius upon the above conversation. Thanks to all the stress!!! ... further more, I skipped my breafast today.

Sarcastically, with the deepest tone of my voice I uttered to the lady “Miss, I know these are papers. You don't have to tell me. What I want to know is the content of it. Don’t you need to explain?

If you think you need not have to… you should have told me …. Ms, please read through these documents. If you have understand and agree with the stated terms, please put down your signature at this corner. Not just Sign sini ! What? you think I am a cow?” (errrrr... last sentence tu kat dalam hati je. :)

I didn’t finish just as that … I asked her… “What is your name anyway? And…. Why are you not wearing you name tag?”

Her fair skin turned paled. She then tried to be nice to me, but hell I care no more. I just want to get my task done.

Pathetic! Mentang-mentangla mek tak bawak beg LV or pakai kasut Gucci… ko eksen! Bila Mek dah cakap omputih baru nak terhegeh2 layan.

Cut story short. In my act to handle my stress... I find tailoring dresses for Dew is so useful. It is one thing that could still keep me sane and in one piece to face the daily office work load.

Here is my latest edition.... I named it The Navy Collar dress.

The tunic dress

I came to know of this page when i was googling for bubble dress making tutorial and instantly got hooked with it. Disney, the page author is a preacher's wife whom is so talented with crafts works, I adore every single creation she made. Moreover, she is at her best when it comes to recyling and transforming of what it seems be fit in the 'junk' chest to a masterpiece.

I am truly inspired by her creativity which lead me to a project.... and I ended up sleeping at 4am to finish it.

It all started with a light brown baby-T that I have been having for 10 years or so. I could had looked hot in it some time ago, but after 10 years.... it gives me no more pleasure wearing because I just look like a wrapped jackfruit! Direct translation of balut nangka. :)

See picture below.... You know what I mean.....

This photo was recently captured during our trip to Fraser's Hill a month back. I purposely chosed a photo of which I am partly hidden behind Dew's pushchair and it is far enough that I should look petite!. Even so, the unwanted shown parts are still outstanding.

So, upon putting my thinking cap............... I decided I wanted to make a tunic dress for Dew.

The n0t-so Baby-T anymore and stripes design cotton material.

And the result is :

I should register her for tennis class, eh? She sure conquer the court.

My 35th birthday - Part 1

I so must blog about my birthday this year, though more than a week had passed. It was definitely one of the best birthday celebrations I had. For that matter it was celebrated for 3 hari 3 malam berturut-turut macam anak raja kahwin. :)

This year 28th March falls on Sunday. The few days before Sunday, Harris had been reminding our girl…. “Nada, nanti birthday Mommy… Nada nyanyi to-yu okay…”
On Saturday the 27th , we had the first dinner outing at Manhattan Fish, just the three of us and a little Chocolate Mud Pie for dessert made Dew singing “to-yu, to-yu, to-yu” This marked my first day celebration.

The little Chocolate Mud Pie ice-cream cake.

Macam burung ciak!

See how 'cool' I was enjoying my dessert.

She decided that she had to make an important call to Tokyo in the middle of our dinner to check on Nikkei !!!

The day 28th March started early morning with my Subuh prayer praising to Allah s.w.t with all greatness that He has lend me thus far. A husband whom has so much patience, a daughter whom means everything to me, other family members whom always plays a part in my story. A career that I like…..though at times it does strangle my neck. The fact I am able to contribute to the family well being by having a career on my own, I am just so grateful.

How can I resist these two LOVE ?

After my prayer I went out of the room and took a peek to Dew’s room to find out she was in a deep sleep and looked so solemn. I gazed all around the living room of our tiny apartment with just a bulb lighted at room corridor. Everything is in it’s place and neat. The lime scent from KIWI floor cleaner could still be smell from my mopping works at night before. I slide to side the glass sliding door and drew the curtain. Cool wind gushing through blowing the soft curtain up. I stepped out to the balcony feeling and inhaling the fresh air. A streak of first light shone at a far horizon. It was indeed a beautiful dawn. Praise to Allah s.w.t, that I live for another day.

We had planned for a family day out to International Book Fair at PWTC. Nothing starts for us unless we have a good breakfast, off we went to KRB Ampang Water Front after getting readied. I had the weekend favorite – Mee Kari. What I like about the curry mee serves for breakfast there is it’s portion. Medium scale : the ration of mee – tauhu – chicken – kerang – vegetables are perfectly sized for my breakfast level and the curry is yummy. A nicely do breakfast will ensure my smile at least for half a day.

Even though the day was still early, we guessed crowd in PWTC was surely packed judging from the lines of busses being parked at roadsides. I thought we would need to spend hours to look for a car park space, but the luck was on our side when we got one so near to the shopping entrance instantly after entering The Mall Basement.

She went to Book Fair in style.

Harris and I picked up few books and dictionaries for ourselves and selected few for Dew’s bedtime reading at the book fair. Dew behaved relatively well considering it was a packed event with sea of human. She requested to be on her feet at areas with lesser crowd and wouldn’t mind to be tied to the push chair at areas where people move at the pace of a turtle crawl.

While we were touring the fair, my cousin Nslave called me. As soon as I picked up the call, high pitch voice almost like chipmunks sang me : "Happy Birthday to YOU! hAPPY bIRTHday to YOU!......" Awwwwww.... those were my two little cousin niece and nephew. That was so sweet and I was delighted.

It was a satisfactory event for me with books and books and books every where. The only part that I don’t really like was when being harassed by salespersons of those early child education programs. You name it… Grolier, Scholastic what evah!… Not that I do not believe in all these media for early child education, but I solely do not agree when people put it as if I have to depend on them to ensure my child turn out brilliant, to be like Mr Astronaut Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor Al Masrie or Mr Tony Fernandez for that matter. (Apsal la mek pilih dua nama tu….)

“Kak…. Akak kena guna program ni…. Orang semua dah pakai sekarang ni. Nanti anak akak ketinggalan kalau akak tak beli dan guna program yang kami buat ni……….” Cheh! Please put it some other way la..

A salesperson kept nagging and telling me how a child may master English by watching their CD’s when he spoke English tunggang-terbalik, no better than me. I was about to tell him – May be you should watch the CD and learn your pronunciation well. However, since it was my birthday… I decided to be a gracious lady and not some bacul bitch. (Thank you to the good breakfast, kalo mek lapar……. Keluar tanduk!)

We then made our way to Jalan TAR as I wanted to get some stuff for my tailoring projects. You see, I may look and sound rough but ribbons, lace, little satin flowers could melt my heart. I felt like sleeping in Bunga & Riben shop which is full with wonderful colors. If I couldn’t have a Baby Products shop, I want to own a shop that sells ribbons.. Heh! Heh!
After getting hold of what I wanted at Bunga & Riben, five design selection of cheapsket fabric at Nagoya, two sets of Noevelle bed sheets at Sogo and sepinggan penuh Nasi Beriani at Insaf…. It was already close to 4pm and we headed home just in-time for Zohor prayers yang dah nak habis waktu!

Dew was asleep once we were home, so Harris and I had a quiet time to conclude our part time job of a bungalow renovation before the big event at night. Could she was awake, she would want to join signing and folding the plans too. The fact that Harris and I were collaborating and co-operating with each other for the job really gives me the sense of satisfaction. I hope one day we’ll achieve of what we both always dream of.

The tickets. Check out the book... I still have my Matriculation books nicely kept.. more than 15 years, ok!

Cik Ani the Nanny came over to our house close to 7pm to look after Dew while Harris and I went out for our night date at Amy’s Suatu Masa concert. It has been SSSSOOOOOOO long since only Harris and I went out together to have some fun. The loving Harris treated me extra nice and I am extremely a lucky women.

I wouldn’t say Amy’s musical concert was the best concert I had watched……. but surely it was an entertaining one.
Somehow….. I do not know, it was either the concert or may be Amy himself, reminds me so much of my own brother…. Mohd Safari Nasir.
May be it was because of the story line which narrated Amy’s life line being an entertainer from the darkness in the early until now that some lights had shone.
May be my brother has some resemblance of Amy physically. Yes, my brother is totally a good looking man only if hadn’t lost much weight for the last 17 years.
By end of the concert, my thought was all to my brother. I hope and pray he will lead a good life at present and on. Now that my silence promise to myself to buy my mami a house is fulfilled, I made another promise to myself……… I want to support my brother in all my might for the success in whatever he’ll do.

Amy and me

Yours truly

My other half

.............. to be continued

The past weeks

It has been long since my last update. There were many events that had taken place but I am just caught up with daily stuff, I couldn't make it happen in the blog.

I was rather perturbed earlier this month I decided to find something to do for not to think about it so much. The result was this dress for the loveliest girl.

She wore the first time for a wedding occasion we attended in Ipoh last two weeks.

After spending a night over in Ipoh at our cousin's place, we decided to hitch up Cameron Highlands on the way back to KL. My reason was to have steak for lunch at Equatorial.. boley blah tak?... Macam tak de kat bawah ni.

The intention however terbantut di tengah jalan as I lost my apartheid eh... appetite, blame to the traffic. Never I expected the traffic in Cameron Highlands would be that hectic, must be because of school holidays. So, it was just a drove up.... passed by Tanah Rata and drove down. Harris suggested for us to manoeuvre in to Habu Boh Plantation in our way down for a cup of tea since we were already up there. Here are some photos of Dew practicing her Golf at CH.

taking tee position

and .... whhhhheeeeewwww......

... alamak! tak kena bola

Two weekends prior CH, we had a short family break at Fraser's Hill. With El-Nino hit at the time, days spent in FH was a bliss. Apart from the coolness that I enjoyed so much, i want to tell you a secret. I truely love hotels good mattresses, don't get me wrong................

It is for this :

Hah... amek ko! ... I am still a 'kid' at heart.

Last weekend, I had my appointment with Dr Ishak the O&G at Seremban Specialist Hospital. Hmmm, nothing of good news or anykind like that. It was a follow up check-up after my pap smear procedure done a month and half ago. I am good with no significant symptoms to be worried of. Alhamdulillah.

Whenever we are in Seremban, I will surely indulge my taste bud with my favorite Mee Bandung Muar at this particular neighborhood kopitiam.

Here are Dew in Mommy's handmade Si Kembang Payung dress enjoying roti bakar at the Kopitiam and at the hospital while waiting for my turn to see the doc.

Before we left Seremban, we went to a craft shop in Terminal 1 I used to frequent. I like this outlet so much I can spend hours and hours inside it.

Nada observing the Pleat machine for smock dress making. One day, i will buy this machine. It cost RM799 - my mami is gonna shout at me : "Jelujor yah adik.... pah gak taghik buak keduk".. Hmmmm..... hok tu tahu doh mami..

I didn't leave the shop empty handed.... can you see the green cutting mat, a yellow rotary cutter and a clear plastic multiple grid ruler in above photo? Yeah they are all for the convenience of sewing purpose, Harris bought the set for me at RM 250. I assumed that as my early birthday gift. Hopefully, I'll make full use of them and able finish a patch work blanket for my girl before her age is 7!.. He he. I don't aim high. 'A' blanket is my target as of now, nothing more.

The coming Sunday will be my birthday. I insisted Harris for Amy's Suatu Masa concert at Istana Budaya as my second birthday present. He he. Well, though I am no big fan of him (in fact I am no big fan of any singer), I grew up listening to him and do enjoy his numbers.

So, I'll be 35 in no time.. what can I say and wish about that........ Like the many years before, I hope increasing number in my age will bring me much more wisdom and maturity in whatever I do.

The text that requires me to write

I received a text from someone I do love so much.

• I love her as someone whom is older than me and deserve my respect highly.
• I love her as someone whom is very close to me right from the beginning of my life.
• I love her as someone whom has play a significant role in my upbringing
• I love her as someone whom has help me a lot physically and also financially especially during my schoolings.
• I love her as someone whom I can always count on whenever I am in need of advise.

Her text however perturbed and saddened me so much. It still does as I pen this down even though it’s been more than a week. I am not certain why I do want to write my feelings here when I should have just reply the text or make a phone call to her. How I wish I could sit next to her and talk face to face, but I guess… this time I’ve got to listen to Harris for not doing so. After much due consideration, YES, I have no doubt but I want to write.

Though I couldn’t expect her to read my entry, but I really hope she will and this at least lift the stone out of my chest even the slightest bit. Furthermore it is the purpose of my Blog, I want to speak my mind, not only on the sunny things but also the gloomy ones.

Why was I sent with the text?

• Was she angry with the situation?
• Was she trying to let anger out on me?
• Was she wanting to let me know that she thinks I am stupid?
• Was she wanting to let me know that she thinks I am being fooled?
• Was she wanting to let me know that she thinks I am hypocrite?
• Was she wanting to let me know that she thinks I should feel guilty?
  

For whatever reason, only she knows.
Should the reasons are of the first two, I care less. However for the later, I just have to justify myself.

I know and certain…..

• NO, I am not stupid.
  I am a person with strong principles in my life which has built characters of my own and capable of making decision which I think suits best for myself. Among many I always train myself to see things not only analytically but also emotionally. I am grateful to Allah s.w.t that I have a good brain to analyze critically and I have a good heart full of passion that I always trust them both. If I make mistakes, it is a mistake done after full measures and I should not regret about it though at times the feelings still come to me.


• NO, I am not being fooled.
  I am fully aware of my actions. If I want to attend an invitation dinner, I will attend no matter whom other people attend.
  On other occasion, if someone want to owe money from me, I will do only with reason I know the need to and not because of what other people might think if I don’t. If I ended up in a deep shit because of it, I only have myself responsible for my action and I should not pester others.


• NO, I am not hypocrite.
  I never try to be a goody-to-shoes to one, say bad things of the other and acted differently when I am with any other. That is too low for me. I have put myself much way higher than that.
  Particularly for the case, I remember stating my opinion – Get a court order. Just like her, I deem what’s rightfully belong to me is entitled to me. But did I say anything bad of the other to soothe her?
  ………. I didn’t.


• NO, I don’t feel guilty.
  With all the above, feeling guilty is not all a case.

I believe in any crisis, there will always be two sides of the story. Though I always and only listen to her story and NEVER of the other side’s, I see no point for me in taking any sides and be alliance to one.

• Because……. it is not my battle to fight to win,
• Because……. I am no judge or... I don't want to be the judge,
• Because……. I am not easily influenced with any story,
• Because……. it would be a worse situation if I do so.

The reasons I listened to any stories from anyone are, I know I have the heart of being a listener and keep things to myself. On matters that I could, I let out my opinion or advise. But if I couldn’t, I am already happy if by way of listening, one is trivial relief of what is burdening.

If she believes I should decide who is bad, who is good and it is my responsibility to outcast the bad, I would say …….. this is not Palestine and Israel war that the line is vividly clear.

Above all, I hope she accept the fact that she is someone with attitude. There’s nothing wrong with having an attitude. I for one also have my own attitude. Somehow for me, she would need to stop thinking and stop harping that people keep saying she is a bad person because many of the time WE THINK OF WHO WE ARE.

I also want her to know, I remember all of her deeds to me. Not to mention the huge ones, even the small ones are never too small for me.
She walked me to school in my early years, she wrote my name on my school books every year, she drew pictures on my art class manila card drawing folder every year, she made me the green embroidery trimming handkerchief with my name on it, she ensured I would have my favorite sardine roll as kuih raya when the others always say “cepat basi buat sardine roll, rugi….”, she paid for my extra-class tuition fee, she visited me so frequently in boarding school,
…… even the first expensive bra by my standard I had 17 years ago – a pair of RM120 cream color Wacoal was bought by her!
I am so grateful and no matter how much thank you I say, it will never be enough, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want to have the liberty for not agreeing…….. with her E.V.E.R.Y single dos because I am not stupid, I am not being fooled and I am not hypocrite.

Each one of written here represent no one but myself, anyhow I have a strong feeling that many would want to say the same thing to her. I have no intention at all to pick up a fight with this writing.
All I want ………… to always be able do the same things I always sincerely do :

• Hope for her hands to receive both of my hands when I offer them every time I see her.
• Hug her and kiss her cheeks every time I meet her.
• Share stories of anything at all with her.
• Lepak at every corner of her home unreservedly, whenever.
• Enjoy the good food and drinks that she always has.
• Depend on her for advises.
• Accompanying her shopping.
• Welcome her to my house whenever she wants to……. any day, any night, any long
• And many-many more.........

Why?… I have no other reason than because I love her.

She is becoming like Mommy

The past two years, we have made collection of thousands of Dew's photos. I believe most parents are doing the same thing in current era... to capture as much possible of our lilttle love ones developments and antics. Big thanks to technology, digital camera makes of what seems to be impossible 20 years ago is actually so simple now.

However, there is also the down side of digital camera. I do not know about you people but for us, we may have captured thousands of Dew's photos but only have ONE being printed. That is her passport photo. Itu pun sebab ambik gambar kat kedai. Teruk eh!

Well, those days..... provided we were using instant polaroid camera, we wouldn't know how a photo looks like unless we get the negative films sent to a photo shop to be developed and printed. Long gone the dinosour age, we now could instantly view the photos we captured. So, I blame technology for not having Dew's 'hardcopy' photos as of now! He he.

Very often I find myself browsing My Pictures sub-folders in my laptop. I LOVE IT each time. Tonite, I realize how Dew has pick-up a lot of things from me... and becoming more and more like Mommy.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009, 7:50:46 PM @16months - 'wipe clean' house floor

Saturday, June 06, 2009, 9:02:16 PM @ 16months - 'wipe clean' house floor again

Tuesday, September 22, 2009, 5:12:52 PM @ 20 months - 'sweep clean' Nek's house compound

Saturday, October 17, 2009, 11:57:46 AM @ 20months and half - 'vacuum clean' carpet

Saturday, October 17, 2009, 3:04:58 PM

Saturday, October 17, 2009, 3:04:32 PM @20 months and half - only to wear make-up in the car!!!

p/s : mek memang cincai... guna ponds cream saje sejak 15 tahun lalu.