Still recuperating

I'm still at home.. recuperating.

Though Lady Gaga is like calling me to mend her and make something, I just dare not touching the machine for now. Mesin jahit kayuh .....kalau ader motor lain la jugak.

The free time I have, I thought why not do some cooking! Cooking is not that bad after all. I'm not that bad, either. Nobody got diarrhea thus far.

 Beef curry with potato

 

Stir fried cabbage/pepper and crispy fried anchovies

Stir fried chicken with ginger in oyster sauce.

Masak putih kobis!

Days in recovery



It's Saturday today! I'm still on medical leave due to the surgery I undergone 3 weeks ago. Feeling so much better, I am now able to walk faster even though not to the pace I usually do and at least able to do light house chores.

 

Few days back, I walked up the stairs to the first floor of our home after not going up for close to three weeks. Rasa macam nak pengsan! Not because of the stairs .... but chaos of all. The unfolded clothes, mess in Nada's closet, habuk yang tak boleh nak cerita, stacks and stacks of nick-nack here and there.. I don't know where to start.



 

I decided to let them just be and walked down.

 

Got hold of my phone.. texted Nada's Nanny : "Ani, hujung minggu ni boleh datang tolong saya kemas rumah"

She replied : "Boleh ma Nada..."

 

Forget about cleaning, I made beef fried rice with bak choy.



Always like fried rice with lots of vege and I prefer the vege to be crunchy. Yums! Nada makan bertambah.

 

Today's breakfast, bread with cheese and half boil ayam kampong eggs from my FIL breeds.

Don't tell my Mami about the soya sauce, she keeps saying it's not good to take after surgery.. Nanti kesan jahit jadi hitam. But I'm stubborn like that.

Walking slow and deodorant

I had to undergo an emergency surgery last Friday. It sounds frightening, right? Indeed it's frightening. The surgery was to remove a twisted right ovarian cyst and it hurts so much! I'll try to write about it someday.

Since it's been a week since the surgery, I now feel a lot better though I still walk so slow like a slow-lorry. Funny thing, Mok my beloved grandma is at our home now.
Nada said : "There are two people walk so slow now... Tok and Mommy!". ...... Aku cili jugak kang mulut budak nih!

Since I came back from the hospital, I can't walk up the stair to our bedroom. So, Harris took the trouble to bring down the bed downstairs to our multi-purpose room for my usage. I've been sleeping with Mok's company just like during my childhood years.

Apart from the bed, I also asked Harris to bring down my daily stuff. One of the request was, bring down the organizer box, make sure to put inside my comb, baby powder and deodorant.

He did just as that. Only thing was......

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the deodorant was not mine! I didn't realize till I wanted to use it, Harris was at work. So, I text him :

It says : "Why do you bring down your deodorant? Mine is white colour. Man... Just use!"

 

and he replied me :

It says : "Make you stronger.."

 

Yeah,.. that's my hubby. He also sometimes has loose screw... I love him lots, nonetheless.

 

Note : Trust me, that's my 'high-tech' phone. See the trouble I had to go through just to get the text into this entry. Every body's laughing at me.!

RIDE FOR A SURGERY - THE DAY

We arrived at the hospital 10 minutes later than we were supposed to and I went straight to the ward admission counter. After some documentation work and paying the deposit amount, the same admission staff escorted me to the ward. A ward nurse then measured my height and weight.
Once done and shown to my room, I changed my outfit to the hospital gown and tried to make myself comfortable. Breakfast was served but Harris finished it all on my behalf because I was required to be fasting.

At around 8.30am, an Aesthetician by the name of Dr ARxxx came to see me. He briefed on the procedure and queried if I would be opting full body or half body anesthetic.
I thought since it’s gonna be a minor operation, I chose half body anesthetic knowingly it’s never good to be under anesthetic drugs. I was also required to sign the permission form for allowing drugs to be inserted into my body.
Frankly, I think this Aesthetician got to polish his ‘people skill’. He didn’t speak that well and seems lazy to further explain. He should responsibly give details on what he would do, what type of drug he would use, how long it would take to take effect… bla, bla, bla and most importantly, describe to me what I should expect to feel.
I did ask him the questions, but I know those were ‘lazy answers’ I got from the way he answered. Should he answered same way in his exams during the study and if I would be the lecturer…. I could have failed him. May be he thought, even he explains I wouldn’t understand. WRONG JUDGEMENT!. Lazy bump. Please la doctors…… (all my dear friends whom are doctors, be passionate la sket. There is this word we pronounce as HOSPITALITY fits best in hospitals…….)

A nurse tried to take my blood for testing using the syringe from my left arm, but she failed. I thought so, as I had it before during my pregnancy. I was told my veins were too ‘halus’ and they were deep underneath the skin not wanting to surface even though with arms exercise.
Dr Ishak then came for a ward round check with a nurse, again tried to take my blood from the right arm. This another nurse also failed miserably leaving my arms in a sore due to syringe puncture with no blood coming out.
Final effort was from the doctor himself, using like-butterfly shape clamp.. being inserted to the back of my left palm. Luckily, he didn’t embarrass himself. Siap cakap – ni kalau tak boleh jugak… malu saya dekat ramai nurse nih!

For a long boredom in the room, my turn at last came at around 11.00am. I was required to change bed and was wheeled to the Operation Ward with Harris accompanying me right to the door. In the Operation Ward lobby, I was again transferred to another bed and being asked procedure questions by a nurse – I heard other nurses called her ‘Sister’. Among the questions were :
1. What is your name?
2. Do you know what operation to undergo.
3. Who signed the anesthetic permission form.
One question, I thought I was so blurrr WAS…. Have you been cleaned? In my rightful mind, since Operation Theatre is a room theoretically to be cleaned and sterile, I answered…. Well, I have taken my bath at home before coming to hospital.

The sister gave me one big smile!

Apparently, that was not the answer she expected for the actual question was purportedly – “Have you been shaved?” Kuang – kuang – kuang! How do I know to read between the lines! Just ask-la. Duh.
So folks, should you ever being asked this question, don’t be so *blurr* like me… answer correctly.

After so, only I was wheeled into Operation Ward and being place at another holding area next to a patient. Dr ARxxx came again and checked the information board by my feet. He walked around to and fro with no single word to me and all I knew, injected somekind of drugs (I guess) into the drips. Just about 5 to 10 seconds upon, I felt the effect…. It was cold…. So cold and so vividly felt that the drugs was running thru my legs and my back.

Few nurses were also looking at the information board and asking among themselves on what sort of operation that I would go thru. I was so scared of the operation, but scared more knowing the nurses actually didn’t really understand what was written on the information board.

To nurses, even if you all don’t really know …. Shuh! Talk away from the patient! Apa la!

Then came, a tall-dark-handsome looking guy wearing green color robe and introduced himself to me as Dr Halim – the Aesthetician responsible during my operation. One look of the information board, he explained to the nurses of my operation and they went…. “OOOOooooo”

15 minutes to 12 noon, I was wheeled into the Operation Theatre.
Alahai, again…. So, so scary to me. It was a very cold, bright and so ‘white’ room. In the center was the operation table with huge spot lights about 4 feet above it and sharp utensils at sides. The only good thing about the room was, they played one of my favorite nos by Michael Bolton – Time, Love & Tenderness.

From the bed, I was transited to the operation table. Really, it was hard and so uncomfortable. Dr Halim was sensitive towards my reaction that he ordered an operation theatre staff to place a pillow under my head. There I was on the operation table observing peoples – walking around me, preparing the tools and whatnot.

Not for long I was asked to raise and sit with a slight bend forward holding a pillow close to my chest. Dr Halim told me he would perform the anesthetic injection at the lower part of my backbone or also called as epidural space. I could feel the cold antiseptic solution being rub at my lower back, and with a warning….. Prik! ….. Aduh sakitnya! Besar betul rasa jarum tuh!

Instantly, my legs were heavy and numb. I was helped to being placed on my back and I knew, that was it. I was so terrified which my tears eventually flew out from corners of my eyes vigorously. MAN! I should just have asked for a full body anesthetic!
In a sobbed, I told Dr Halim that – I am scared. This handsome doctor gave a friendly pat on my shoulder ensuring there was nothing to be afraid of. He’s such a gentleman, I was about to ask him if he’s married for I have many SMART-HOT-SINGLE friends that I could introduce to him. Ghee!
He then suggested for sedative to make me sleep. There goes, another drug into my drips.

Now not only my legs were heavy, my head was too. In my heart I was reciting… Subhanallah – Subhanallah – Subhanallah. But far-far-far at the back of my head, I heard Mr Bolton shouting :

When love puts you thru the fire
When love puts you thru the test
Nothing heals a broken heart
Like
Time Love and Tenderness…..

….. Alamak, mana satu nak ikut nih?…. show me the light, ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

RIDE FOR A SURGERY - DAYS BEFORE

It all started when I had a lengthy episode of coughing in December 08 before the Aidiladha. Along with the coughing I felt something is not right, uncomfortable and there was a bulge by the vaginal wall.
But there was no pain at all, I was able to urine as normal and my menstrual cycle was perfectly on time before and even after I could feel the bulge.
I thought, was it the pelvic floor muscle has gone loose due to my coughing?… and further more I was not practicing the Kegel exercise that often anymore due to laziness.
I read an article before, pelvic floor muscle may go loose and sometimes even got hang outside the vaginal as women aged. My…. My not in my 30s!

Anyways, I told my other half that I must see a doctor for an advise. We decided for a visit to my cousin – Feby’s favorite family physician in Ampang – Dr Azizah on 16.12.08. I had a checked and this friendly doctor told me, it was nothing associated with pelvic floor muscle. All of my pelvic floor muscle, ovary and bladder were intact.
The bulge was about 3cm in diameter and she suspected it only contained liquid. She then referred me to an Obstetrician and Gynecologist in Ampang Puteri Specialist Hospital who seems to be her friend, Dr Fauziah.

As I went out from her room…. My heart went….. *dup-dap-dup-dap-dup-dap* - a hundred times faster!

The next day, I made my way to APSH to arrange for an appointment. To my astonishment, I would only be able to see Dr Fauziah in a month time, should be on 19.01.09 because she’s only in the clinic for 3 days a week. The others are the locum doctors. Argh!… All these rich doctors in private hospitals. They only have to work 3 days a week and yet so wealthy! (Nada! Mommy wants u to be a doctor in private practices!…. he, he. Whatever……)
I made up my mind, I can’t wait for a month just to see a doctor. There are so many fish in the sea, so why try to fish for a difficult one.

On the 03.01.09, (do not have the chance to go any earlier than the date due to visiting from family all thru Christmas and New Year Hols.) I went to see the OB-GYN whom earlier handled my delivery, Dr Ishak in Seremban Specialist Hospital. From the check, he briefed me that the bulge is called para-urethral mass. Urethra is an area which form a female private part. As to my case, he agreed with Dr Azizah that the bulge looked only contained liquid and suggested for an excision surgery.
DEAR ! … surgery? I had a cold feet and tabled my own suggestion trying to avoid any kind of surgery. I asked Dr Ishak, since it only contains liquid, can we just make some kind of small pierce and let the liquid out?… macam bisul?… he he.

Don’t laugh at me……, he noted it is also one way but by so doing the bulge may reappear and an excision is still a better option.
Hmmmm, I am not so sure if that could be the best advise or he was thinking of RM-RM-RM-RM he would earn by performing the surgery. But who am I to judge a specialist doctor’s advise even though I always know it is not necessarily the best option.

So, there it goes, 16.01.09 was the date scheduled for the surgery. (If I were to wait for the doctor in APSH – I would still be waiting for the appointment date just to see the doctor)

A week before the scheduled surgery, I decided to change the date to 23.01.09. It was because my office would be closing down the whole week of Chinese New Year, so I thought coinciding the break with my surgery would do good to reduce unattended office work once I go back to work.

Am I a good employee or a STUPID one? Most would say a stupid one - when you can have a ‘free’ m.c and skip work, why coincide it with the office break?
Not to feel so stupid I’d like to think of other reasons to postpone the surgery would be, the date 16.01.09 was too near to my menstrual and should I been bedridden at home, Harris would not need to take many days off from work since CNY is declared as public holiday, to take care of me. Further more it was a surgery which was categorized as not so urgently required.

Of all, I was worry the most about Nada. How would I arrange for somebody to take care of her while me being hospitalized? Harris suggested to bring her along but I was not so fond with the idea, knowing it would not be easy, even though I would love to have her around me. I do not want to upset her routine particularly her dines and sleeps if she was also brought to the hospital. I could imagine Harris feeding Nada milk-milk-milk and only milk whenever she cries as how was he going to prepare her meals in the hospital? And should Nada needed her sleep, where would Harris place her? Had I under estimated my husband? Well, I was being practical.

I thought of sending Nada to her Nanny’s, but it was a bad idea either. I don’t feel it was good for Nada to spend her night at the Nanny’s for she might feel – it is bad enough for Mommy to leave me by day, now Mommy wants to leave me here by night too. (Or was it me whom actually felt that way?)

At last, the kindhearted cousin of mine – Feby was glad enough to take care of Nada when I asked her should she was able to, after the suggestion from my another cousin, Kakak. For Nada, I imagined her thinking, it was just a sleepover at her Cik Byie and Uncle Brad Pitt’s place while she could also catch up with her cousins – Big Bro Aqil & Sis Izz.
I have always thought of it but I do not want to burden no one, if possible.

The week before surgery, I spent late nights after work increasing Nada’s puree stocks in the freezer so it would be easy for Harris to prepare her meals should I was unable to do after the surgery. Getting all these brick-a-brack prepared, in a way made myself prepared for the surgery until just a day before, I received a phone call from Dr Ishak’s clinic clerk.

The clerk during her phone call informed me that I should register at an earlier time for ward admission, 8.30am was changed to 7.00am. It was all because she forgot to ask for my signature pursuant to filling in the insurance claim form. Since the surgery can only be performed if clearance from insurance company is obtained, I was needed to arrive earlier than supposed to be to expedite the clearance procedures. Du-uh!

Arriving in SSH at 7.00am means I had to make the move from my place latest by 5.30am, considering a stopover at Feby’s. Not very difficult, but thinking of carrying Nada while she was still sleeping and left her in the dark dawn, she’d freak out …. I don’t think I should.
I told the clerk, 8.30am means 8.30am. I don’t want to change my plan and if need be I would pay the hospital bill in cash and get it claim later.

Out of rage, I notified Harris about the wanted change. Thankfully, Harris has always has his own ways in putting scenarios back in place whenever I can’t.
Since I am the type whom always want things to be in the way I planned and easily get agitated if it slacken, Harris on the hand is a calm and cool type, so he balances me well. This is one of many things that make us compatible this far. After a good discussion and comprehending Harris’s saying, I was no longer the fierce-ugly monster wanting to eat the clinic clerk but all relaxed and composed, accepting that I just have to be in the hospital at 7.00am. Lets not make a fuss about it.