Want to try

One stranger asked me where do I learn up sewing. By the way, I met him at a shop that I frequent for tailoring supplies or to finish up my tailored garment frail edges since I don't own a serger. He's the shop owner's brother.

I told him I don't take any classes, it's just try an error kind of thing and my mami is a seamstress, so may be I got a streak or two from her.

He didn't quite believe me and insisted I sure took up classes. Don't know la how to talk to people like this. He shouldn't had asked me if he had decided he has an answer or something..

Anyway, besides referring to the internet, this is how i do :

See dresses that I like, tebalkan muka... brave myself.. and start taking photos...

belek sana, belek sini..

check out the joints and what not.

After that, i dream of it... try to figure out how to make.. during my baths, during unfruitful meetings that I have to attend and I'm not the chair person.... anytime I can find.

So, some people just knew the ingredients of a dish by just tasting it.. I want to believe Allah s.w.t lend me a priceless gift to be able to sew.

I want to make something like this for Nada. Harap-harap menjadi.

Everyday marks a history

Mommy likes that she's not all the 'princessy' type. Girls do climb, jump and kick too.

Today, for the first time..... my 3yrs 8months and 6days girl let go our hands by herself and followed my cousin Rafi for an outing.

I was surprised that she finally accepted Rafi's offer after so long and weird me, I felt melancholic about it.

Mommy hopes you wouldn't do it so often.

Kids and EQ

Many times I have this feeling that I want something that much but I feel people just don’t get it or not align with me in getting things done. It could happen at work, at home anywhere. Recently, it got to me and I really could not hold it any longer. I broke down to tears out of frustration and agitation.

Nada was puzzled looking at me crying, she came to me and asked few times.. “Kenapa Mommy nangis?”

I didn’t answer her but I didn’t want her to feel bad or thought that she’s got anything to do with it. So, I picked her up, put on my lap and just hugged her. Somehow, she too had watery eyes and eventually rolled down her cheeks with no sound.

Kids! They all start with good EQ within their own self.. Nada wanted to show me her compassion towards my grievances.

I didn’t want it to prolong, so I companied her for noon nap.

Lucky me that I now have a good hobby to distract me from stress, agitation, angriness and whatever negative ‘nouns’ to focus on something worth it. Yup! It’s sewing. While Nada took her noon nap, I spent the time in my tiny corner with Lady Gaga. All that makes me sick at that point in time just vanished for all I wanted was to finish the pretty dress.

... Mom of owner of the dress had chosed for Basket with fruits button. Cute stuff!

I was still stuck with Lady Gaga when Nada woke up from her about an hour noon nap. She came straight to me and again asked…. “Mommy, why you crying?.. why you crying?” (now in English.. maybe she thought I didn’t understand her the first round. J.)

Mommy - “It’s nothing..”

Nada – “Mommy, you scare? Tak pe.. Nada cry…!”

Again, Kids! They all start with good EQ within their own self … Nada wanted to tell me “It’s okay to cry when you need to because other people cry too.”

In Mommy's handmade : Aidilfitri 2011 lines ~ The Chest Pleat Dress

with random helicopter button for the sash, match up with her helicopter sandals

Baby A

The next time I want to bring home a baby whom is not ours, I swear I must explain to my baby girl clearly as it is.

Oh dear! I hope that doesn’t sound so bad.

My cousin, Cik Byie was admitted to Pantai Hospital last Friday for lung infection. Thinking of the chaotic to be faced by her hubby with four kids, I told myself I had to help out to take care of at least one. Not questioning of Mr Brad Pitt’s (of what Nada calls him) capability, but an honest offer wouldn’t be a harm.

So upon approval of the proposal by Mr Pitt, we fetched the youngest – Baby Amsterdam at their house and off to the hospital for a visit.

Baby A spent the whole weekend with us - shared our bed, made us laugh, also making us scratch our head in figuring out how to clean baby’s poo-poo again. Nada had been acting the BIG sister. Fairly a good one.

I told her –

“You got to pack your toys properly for you do not want Baby A to put them into his mouth and get chocked”. She obediently packed her toys the way I regularly do – The a-b-c’s properly arranged in the supposed case, the books where they were supposed to be, the small free Mc-D toys in one bag, etc-etc.

I asked her –

“Nada, can Mommy trust you to look after Baby A while he’s asleep that Mommy need to take a bath. If he cries, come knock on the door ok?” She nod at me with the look “Yes I can” and sit next to Baby A like a “watch dog”. I was about to enter the room when I heard Baby A giving tiny little sound in his sleep and Nada came running to me “ADIK NANGIS – ADIK NANGIS – ADIK NANGIS!”. Serious face that actually made Baby A awaken from his good sleep!.. Sigh. Mommy postponed shower.

Nada supervising Mommy giving Baby A warm bath while having a towel in her arm.

Nada helping Mommy to dress up Baby A while she herself was barely dressed.

Nada counting sheep prior noon nap with a hand touching Baby A to ensure he's by her side.

Nada doing "gold fish" imitating Baby A chubby cheeks.

Nada keep convincing Daddy that she could hold Baby A though Mommy quite not accepting the idea fear for Baby A would roll out her tiny lap.

Nada sharing Daddy's lap with Baby A - THIS IS A REAL SOMETHING!.. Not easy, o!

Came Sunday evening, we brought Baby A to hospital after attending a Raya Open House with arrangement for my aunt, Cik Ra to bring him home while Cik Byie was still being admitted. Mommy got to work the next day.

So when the time to depart, Nada was all sour with the idea of Baby A would not be returning home with us. She wasn’t being briefed earlier on, hence was not aware of it.

She refused to salam anyone, I had to give in by letting her sit with me at the front instead of her car seat. Not five minutes we left the hospital compound, she cried her lungs out as if the world is going to tear apart. Again, we had to give in by bringing her to McDonalds for a treat so she would cool down.

We succeeded with our quest that Nada was a happy ding-dong girl once entered the red-yellow-white eatery. ONE DRAMA QUEEN!!!

So to speak, we went home. I was cleaning in the kitchen when I heard Nada lamenting so badly not knowing the cause.

Harris told me, he saw Nada sitting on the chair with tears rolling down her cheeks. No sound. Only when he asked what happened that she burst out crying – “Arik Adam.. Arik Adam… Arik Adam…” Poor girl, she must had missed him that much.

I undressed and bathed her. Still crying that her face turned red and kept saying “Nanti Arik Adam nangis, dia nak Mommy”.

She came out of the bath room and saw Baby A’s pants. Again, with loud cry - “Arik Adam pajamas” while pointing.

I tried to soothe her. Only after some time she settled down. My cousin Rafi then asked her “Kenapa Nada nangis?”. She again had watery eyes…. Tears rolled down her cheeks. No sound. I shooshed Rafi away and carried her into the room for sleep. She saw the empty space that we placed Baby A for night sleep. Again, with loud cry – “Arik Adam sleep here…..”

So sad, okay…… The emptiness that Baby A left had taken it’s toll on her.

I couldn’t find any other words to ease her sadness that I just hugged and kissed her a million times until she fell asleep.

I was wrong, my girl was not acting big sister after all. She thought she WAS the big sister.

Aidilfitri wish and ramblings

The saying goes : Better late than never!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to muslim visitor(s). :)....... Syawal is yet to end anyway..

Also, I sincerely seek apologies from all for my wrongdoings, be it my physical actions or if there's any part of my writings here that hurts anyone, anywhere.

When I meant all that write in this space, it however never meant to hurt anyone.

I'm feeling a little bit 'down' at the moment and it's bad that I'll be having a presentation to Datuk Raja Nong Chik tomorrow. Hmmm..

For some reason, I couldn't attach the photos to an e-mail that I want to send. Mafusio!

Still, it's not the real reason to my gloom. I'm questioning my decisions and wonder "When are we going to make a move and stay in our house?" "Why are we so slow and there're always setbacks?"

God, please make this one a smooth ride. Please, please , please.

No, not my house. Am responsible for the house renovation design. How can this not make me wonder. We're of the same age from the same school. She has a beautiful house, gorgeous slim figure and FIVE kids!!!

Being an architect sucks!

the commission sewing continues

... and another order, I'm creating a series for this which I shall name "My first Louboutin (almost!)" for the chili red sole. hehehe..

the first commissioned order(s)

I uploaded the two pairs of booties photos I earlier made in my fb page. Exactly 6 minutes after, a friend of mine sent messages requesting for a custom made booties as well.

Honestly, I do not sew with the thought I can make money out of it.

It is more of something that I find it fun, challenging, therapeutic and happiness. Fun because I am able to explore the creative side of me in inventing and finally create a name for the product, challenging in figuring out how to put things together, therapeutic because I just need something else more than the stressful office work load to slow me down and enjoy, happiness to see my baby girl posing in anything I made for her, happiness when people appreciate my handmade gifted to them. That is sewing to me.

However, I can't resist those messages that I mentioned earlier. Till now, I still can't believe that I actually took order for the booties. Here's what I made for her :

I name them Chasing Butterflies

With the help of office secretary, these cuties were couriered to my friend. On the same day, she (the secretary) nagged me that she needed the booties too for her niece.

I said "Dey! i'm busy la.... cannot sew for you!"

She went on and on and on "Aka, please la.. aka.. i make for you coffee every day right after fasting month finish"

Me then had to say "I will try".. to get her not to disturb me anymore so that I could get on with my heap of office work.

After I arrived home, I kept hearing the girl's name : EVE. Such a lovely name, hence these booties.

~ eve ~