The past weeks

It has been long since my last update. There were many events that had taken place but I am just caught up with daily stuff, I couldn't make it happen in the blog.

I was rather perturbed earlier this month I decided to find something to do for not to think about it so much. The result was this dress for the loveliest girl.

She wore the first time for a wedding occasion we attended in Ipoh last two weeks.

After spending a night over in Ipoh at our cousin's place, we decided to hitch up Cameron Highlands on the way back to KL. My reason was to have steak for lunch at Equatorial.. boley blah tak?... Macam tak de kat bawah ni.

The intention however terbantut di tengah jalan as I lost my apartheid eh... appetite, blame to the traffic. Never I expected the traffic in Cameron Highlands would be that hectic, must be because of school holidays. So, it was just a drove up.... passed by Tanah Rata and drove down. Harris suggested for us to manoeuvre in to Habu Boh Plantation in our way down for a cup of tea since we were already up there. Here are some photos of Dew practicing her Golf at CH.

taking tee position

and .... whhhhheeeeewwww......

... alamak! tak kena bola

Two weekends prior CH, we had a short family break at Fraser's Hill. With El-Nino hit at the time, days spent in FH was a bliss. Apart from the coolness that I enjoyed so much, i want to tell you a secret. I truely love hotels good mattresses, don't get me wrong................

It is for this :

Hah... amek ko! ... I am still a 'kid' at heart.

Last weekend, I had my appointment with Dr Ishak the O&G at Seremban Specialist Hospital. Hmmm, nothing of good news or anykind like that. It was a follow up check-up after my pap smear procedure done a month and half ago. I am good with no significant symptoms to be worried of. Alhamdulillah.

Whenever we are in Seremban, I will surely indulge my taste bud with my favorite Mee Bandung Muar at this particular neighborhood kopitiam.

Here are Dew in Mommy's handmade Si Kembang Payung dress enjoying roti bakar at the Kopitiam and at the hospital while waiting for my turn to see the doc.

Before we left Seremban, we went to a craft shop in Terminal 1 I used to frequent. I like this outlet so much I can spend hours and hours inside it.

Nada observing the Pleat machine for smock dress making. One day, i will buy this machine. It cost RM799 - my mami is gonna shout at me : "Jelujor yah adik.... pah gak taghik buak keduk".. Hmmmm..... hok tu tahu doh mami..

I didn't leave the shop empty handed.... can you see the green cutting mat, a yellow rotary cutter and a clear plastic multiple grid ruler in above photo? Yeah they are all for the convenience of sewing purpose, Harris bought the set for me at RM 250. I assumed that as my early birthday gift. Hopefully, I'll make full use of them and able finish a patch work blanket for my girl before her age is 7!.. He he. I don't aim high. 'A' blanket is my target as of now, nothing more.

The coming Sunday will be my birthday. I insisted Harris for Amy's Suatu Masa concert at Istana Budaya as my second birthday present. He he. Well, though I am no big fan of him (in fact I am no big fan of any singer), I grew up listening to him and do enjoy his numbers.

So, I'll be 35 in no time.. what can I say and wish about that........ Like the many years before, I hope increasing number in my age will bring me much more wisdom and maturity in whatever I do.

The text that requires me to write

I received a text from someone I do love so much.

• I love her as someone whom is older than me and deserve my respect highly.
• I love her as someone whom is very close to me right from the beginning of my life.
• I love her as someone whom has play a significant role in my upbringing
• I love her as someone whom has help me a lot physically and also financially especially during my schoolings.
• I love her as someone whom I can always count on whenever I am in need of advise.

Her text however perturbed and saddened me so much. It still does as I pen this down even though it’s been more than a week. I am not certain why I do want to write my feelings here when I should have just reply the text or make a phone call to her. How I wish I could sit next to her and talk face to face, but I guess… this time I’ve got to listen to Harris for not doing so. After much due consideration, YES, I have no doubt but I want to write.

Though I couldn’t expect her to read my entry, but I really hope she will and this at least lift the stone out of my chest even the slightest bit. Furthermore it is the purpose of my Blog, I want to speak my mind, not only on the sunny things but also the gloomy ones.

Why was I sent with the text?

• Was she angry with the situation?
• Was she trying to let anger out on me?
• Was she wanting to let me know that she thinks I am stupid?
• Was she wanting to let me know that she thinks I am being fooled?
• Was she wanting to let me know that she thinks I am hypocrite?
• Was she wanting to let me know that she thinks I should feel guilty?
  

For whatever reason, only she knows.
Should the reasons are of the first two, I care less. However for the later, I just have to justify myself.

I know and certain…..

• NO, I am not stupid.
  I am a person with strong principles in my life which has built characters of my own and capable of making decision which I think suits best for myself. Among many I always train myself to see things not only analytically but also emotionally. I am grateful to Allah s.w.t that I have a good brain to analyze critically and I have a good heart full of passion that I always trust them both. If I make mistakes, it is a mistake done after full measures and I should not regret about it though at times the feelings still come to me.


• NO, I am not being fooled.
  I am fully aware of my actions. If I want to attend an invitation dinner, I will attend no matter whom other people attend.
  On other occasion, if someone want to owe money from me, I will do only with reason I know the need to and not because of what other people might think if I don’t. If I ended up in a deep shit because of it, I only have myself responsible for my action and I should not pester others.


• NO, I am not hypocrite.
  I never try to be a goody-to-shoes to one, say bad things of the other and acted differently when I am with any other. That is too low for me. I have put myself much way higher than that.
  Particularly for the case, I remember stating my opinion – Get a court order. Just like her, I deem what’s rightfully belong to me is entitled to me. But did I say anything bad of the other to soothe her?
  ………. I didn’t.


• NO, I don’t feel guilty.
  With all the above, feeling guilty is not all a case.

I believe in any crisis, there will always be two sides of the story. Though I always and only listen to her story and NEVER of the other side’s, I see no point for me in taking any sides and be alliance to one.

• Because……. it is not my battle to fight to win,
• Because……. I am no judge or... I don't want to be the judge,
• Because……. I am not easily influenced with any story,
• Because……. it would be a worse situation if I do so.

The reasons I listened to any stories from anyone are, I know I have the heart of being a listener and keep things to myself. On matters that I could, I let out my opinion or advise. But if I couldn’t, I am already happy if by way of listening, one is trivial relief of what is burdening.

If she believes I should decide who is bad, who is good and it is my responsibility to outcast the bad, I would say …….. this is not Palestine and Israel war that the line is vividly clear.

Above all, I hope she accept the fact that she is someone with attitude. There’s nothing wrong with having an attitude. I for one also have my own attitude. Somehow for me, she would need to stop thinking and stop harping that people keep saying she is a bad person because many of the time WE THINK OF WHO WE ARE.

I also want her to know, I remember all of her deeds to me. Not to mention the huge ones, even the small ones are never too small for me.
She walked me to school in my early years, she wrote my name on my school books every year, she drew pictures on my art class manila card drawing folder every year, she made me the green embroidery trimming handkerchief with my name on it, she ensured I would have my favorite sardine roll as kuih raya when the others always say “cepat basi buat sardine roll, rugi….”, she paid for my extra-class tuition fee, she visited me so frequently in boarding school,
…… even the first expensive bra by my standard I had 17 years ago – a pair of RM120 cream color Wacoal was bought by her!
I am so grateful and no matter how much thank you I say, it will never be enough, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want to have the liberty for not agreeing…….. with her E.V.E.R.Y single dos because I am not stupid, I am not being fooled and I am not hypocrite.

Each one of written here represent no one but myself, anyhow I have a strong feeling that many would want to say the same thing to her. I have no intention at all to pick up a fight with this writing.
All I want ………… to always be able do the same things I always sincerely do :

• Hope for her hands to receive both of my hands when I offer them every time I see her.
• Hug her and kiss her cheeks every time I meet her.
• Share stories of anything at all with her.
• Lepak at every corner of her home unreservedly, whenever.
• Enjoy the good food and drinks that she always has.
• Depend on her for advises.
• Accompanying her shopping.
• Welcome her to my house whenever she wants to……. any day, any night, any long
• And many-many more.........

Why?… I have no other reason than because I love her.

She is becoming like Mommy

The past two years, we have made collection of thousands of Dew's photos. I believe most parents are doing the same thing in current era... to capture as much possible of our lilttle love ones developments and antics. Big thanks to technology, digital camera makes of what seems to be impossible 20 years ago is actually so simple now.

However, there is also the down side of digital camera. I do not know about you people but for us, we may have captured thousands of Dew's photos but only have ONE being printed. That is her passport photo. Itu pun sebab ambik gambar kat kedai. Teruk eh!

Well, those days..... provided we were using instant polaroid camera, we wouldn't know how a photo looks like unless we get the negative films sent to a photo shop to be developed and printed. Long gone the dinosour age, we now could instantly view the photos we captured. So, I blame technology for not having Dew's 'hardcopy' photos as of now! He he.

Very often I find myself browsing My Pictures sub-folders in my laptop. I LOVE IT each time. Tonite, I realize how Dew has pick-up a lot of things from me... and becoming more and more like Mommy.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009, 7:50:46 PM @16months - 'wipe clean' house floor

Saturday, June 06, 2009, 9:02:16 PM @ 16months - 'wipe clean' house floor again

Tuesday, September 22, 2009, 5:12:52 PM @ 20 months - 'sweep clean' Nek's house compound

Saturday, October 17, 2009, 11:57:46 AM @ 20months and half - 'vacuum clean' carpet

Saturday, October 17, 2009, 3:04:58 PM

Saturday, October 17, 2009, 3:04:32 PM @20 months and half - only to wear make-up in the car!!!

p/s : mek memang cincai... guna ponds cream saje sejak 15 tahun lalu.

Bukit Bandaraya, Shah Alam

I just came back from Klang…., exhausted! Work has been so tiring and stressful. To top that up, I have forever hated to drive.

While I was driving somewhere along NKVE, HOT.FM played the currently top number by Anang Separuh Jiwaku Pergi. Cis… that song is so sadis la…
I broke down to tears listening to the song for reasons I myself not certain of. Others whom had passed and noticed me crying surely thought – This lady must be some pathetic hot chick being dumped big time.
For whatever matters came to my mind … I cannot be that emotional. Damn!

I guess it must be the Bukit Bandaraya, Shah Alam signboard.

Update :
Oooohhh.. work is not so stressful after all, with the received of double check just now before we all break off for Chinese New Year holidays. :)

....pembob

Dew was playing with our tv remote control last night while we were watching Oprah Winfrey Show. She simply pressed the button and nothing of she wanted seems to appear.

The little girl then came to me with the most innocent face saying “Mommy.. nak pembob” while handed over the remote control.
Awww… she was asking my help to watch Spongebob Squarepants. How my heart melt with that simple gesture.
(Errrr, don’t talk about when she happens to be the annoying Woody Woodpecker)

Unfortunately…. No Spongebob show at the hour.

Yeah, next task in line -
Get for Dew Spongebob Squarepants DVD and only let her watch if she behave.

Of about silicon nipple, collar and bottle

Being the conventional 9-6 office working mom means I have to find a way for my baby to be looked after while I am at work. This is the most difficult task to do in my motherhood experience. Nothing like choosing a car seat or what type of feeding bottles to opt for. Main reason is because I am dealing with homo sapiens who have different ways and opinions in getting things done. Many times I have to step back and accept though it is not to my favor.

Some time back, I was so agitated to fetch Dew from the Nanny all covered with smell of cigarette smoke. No offence to smokers out there. But I really detest to have the thought that my daughter has to bear that more than 1000 mixture of unbeneficial chemical substances into her lungs, blood stream and brain. Puuulllleeesssseeee……….. go spoil yours not my daughter’s. I beg you!

I gave the Nanny the most diplomatic speech I could and repeatedly told her that I do not want it to happen anymore. That episode had passed and it hardly repeats anymore. Really, I am so-so glad that she at least took serious action towards it.

Other than this one issue, I would say she has done a pretty good job in taking care other people’s off spring. I thought, the Nanny is all my concern of which I have to be cautious with when I decided to send Dew to her. My thought was not full right.

Last Friday, I came back from office close to 11pm. That was really late even to my nature and I was in a very physically and mentally fatigue condition. I went straight to the kitchen with intention to wash my hands. To my shock, I saw an Avent nipple attached to it’s collar laying on the kitchen table which was really in a bad state.

I almost fainted. Literally – I almost fainted. How could that happened?

The nipple had formula stain at it’s lower part and lots of black spots as if it’s been there for ages. Macam KULAT-KULAPOK. The inner side of collar looked the same. Damn disgusting, I tell you. I grabbed them both and washed and brushed. Believe it or not, I still had my handbag and working bag hanging on both of my shoulders while I was washing. I didn’t even thought of putting them down. While washing, I was ‘cursing’ Harris for not doing proper cleaning.

(I always have this bad habit to blame that old man first before anybody else). The stain just wouldn’t be able to be cleaned. Only then I realize, eh – Those are not Dew’s. The nipple was number 4, I never bought for Dew number 4. (if you are unfamiliar with Avent nipples – number 4 nipples are with 4 holes for fast flow). Dew is now on slot nipple for her Avent. I also no longer use that non-BPA free Avent bottles. I have changed to BPA-free ever since the supplies reached Malaysia selling racks.

Harris told me that he found out about the nipple and collar when he wanted to mix formula for Dew earlier. He too was too GELI to even look at it.
Sigh! The Nanny had mistakenly switched the bottles. She has four tots now in her care. I don’t really mind because she has a helper from 9am to 4pm. The children are at 5, 3, 2 and 18months. Three are still on bottles.

I couldn’t resist but to make a phone call to the Nanny though it was almost midnight to tell her of the switched and also to find out whose rotten nipple and collar could that be. I am not sure about the later objective of my call but the urge to know was so strong. I tried not to judge people but failed when I made that thiak-thiak-thiak sound with tips of my tongue and my head swayed from side to side upon knowing.

How could a mother let that nipple and collar been in such bad state? Come to think of it, mistakenly switched by the Nanny at the end of the day is still considerably acceptable. But what if Dew has been sucking on that sucker for the whole day long? I fainted again!

Every time I send Dew to the Nanny, I made some reserve to accept flaws or whatever things which I consider as ‘defects’. This mistakenly switched bottles incident anyhow, didn’t bring me to the Nanny but the mother of the child. I consider myself as particular in cleanliness, what more on feeding bottles. A friend told me that it is unnecessary to sterile bottles once babies start to put things in their mouth. Germs get in their system anyway. I don’t take that opinion though it was from a practitioner doctor. I still sterile Dew’s bottles until now even she is already two, fear for me leaving any unwanted traces to the bottles and nipples after washing. Anyway, I didn’t spend RM500 for the sterilizer to beautify my kitchen or to balance some ying and yang energy. It is for it’s intended purpose.
That awful nipple was truly-truly UNACCEPTABLE. How much does the bottle cost la…? Ganti la weh!

So now, is there any possible way that I can choose the type of parents whom send their child to the Nanny? Isk-isk-isk, I am so lost.

You mommies who have the luxury to take care of your own child, I envy you!

Sekadar gambar hiasan :

Dew's Minnie Mouse, Bugs Bunny and Pureen gifted bottles which are never used. Now became her toys.

Dew's Avent and B-free nipples and bottles which are no longer in use due to the life span.

Dew's Avent and MAM bottles which are currently in use.

How we celebrated our baby girl's 2nd birthday.

This is a much due post I would say, when my baby girl’s birthday had passed for almost a week. Since I’ve made that quiet promise to blog about it… I better do so, ain’t I?

Last Friday on the 29.01.10, Harris asked me if we should a buy a cake to celebrate Dew’s birthday. I thought that would be fine and we grabbed a tiny lychee cheese cake at our neighborhood cake shop after work that day.

We headed home upon fetching Dew from her Nanny’s. Like the usual, we had our time entertaining the cheeky chic and I dozed off on the sofa. (It was a loooong tiring week, ok. Give me break!)
I was only to wake up when Harris awaken me, saying – “It’s 15 minutes to 12, let’s blow the candles!”
Hah! It’s late at night and Dew’s asleep! Never mind, I then took my bath to freshen up while Harris prepared the cake.

At 12 midnight just as it strike 30.01.10, we awaken Dew and started singing the birthday song. Dew was puzzled… only if she could speak well, she could have said – What a pair of crazy fun parents I have. As her sleep being disturbed, she couldn’t hold but to protest to put her back to bed without even blowing the candles. Wheee he he. So the cake was saved from being absorbed into our gastronomy system.

It was a real special day, which the justification was - I COOKED FOR LUNCH. Cheeewah! Cincai-cincai je. Prior to that we still had our breakfast outside.
In the late afternoon, we made the Birthday Girl on cloud nine with Daddy purchasing her long waited red ‘ayckel (bicycle – in her lingo)

Macam yo-yo je dia kayuh!

The cake had yet to be cut. Harris suggested for us to go to one of our best cousins place – the Mentibangs, for cake cutting occasion. Surely it would be more fun to have many people around. I was slightly reluctant earlier on because the cake was a tiny one it could not be enough for everyone. But what the heck… I agreed with him.
Dew was all happy once we were about to reach Mentibang’s place for she knew she’d have other 2+1 kiddos to share the fun with.

So, here goes the smooth-kalut, finally smooth Dew’s birthday cake cutting occasion.

Ibu had to barge in with a point finger and be the life saver, eh ?
Every time we show Dew this video, her chest raises up and down showing her breathing accelerating rapidly and repeatedly saying – Kakak, Kakak, Adha – to yo! I guess she wanted to say “Kakak had interrupted into Nada’s “Happy Birthday to you”….
He he, I know they two will be best of friends.

We left Mentibang’s family over 11pm close to 12night being so sleepy. So late… thanks to Harris for wanting to have ‘tutorials’ from Nslave of his newly bought birthday present - the E72.

That was how we celebrated our baby girl’s birthday. No fancy party with party planner, nothing so glamorous but we slept very blissful that night.

It is a joyous event every time to celebrate birthdays, but this particular birthday of a particular special girl also brings a poignant feeling to me. She’s growing up too fast, one day she no longer needs Mommy’s eyebrows and eyelashes when she wants to sleep or to soothe her.

To my baby girl, Mommy has to admit that Mommy is not a very patient mom that at times anger is on you unlike Daddy whom is always a cool Dad. Even so, always remember - Mommy loves you just as much as Daddy if not more!

Little notes for you to know....,
You may not be the winner of a cute baby contest, but you are the cutest baby in this entire Milky Way to Mommy and have long won Mommy and Daddy’s heart.

You may not be the genius baby that can point out countries on World map and appears in Oprah Winfrey Show at 20mo, but all the little achievement you’ve succeed thus far made Mommy really proud of you.

You may not be the eloquent baby that fascinates people around with vast use of vocabulary, but your gibberish talk and laugh and sing and shout and cries never fail to fulfill Mommy’s day.

You may not be the whiz kid but you just know how to console and cheer Mommy up when ever Mommy is feeling down or even angry at you.

Happy Second Birthday, Che’ Embun.. muah.

Sleepy Baby Singing

P/s : My dear readers want to know what I get for my girl this year ?… I didn’t get her anything…. I made her two dresses.

I call this flowery dress Mario Sommerset - nama mek salleh

and this one Si Kembang Payung.... i like them both.