AN EXAM

Pertubuhan Akitek Malaysia or widely known as PAM, organized the yearly Members’ Night event few weeks back. Like the norms, newly elected Corporate Members were presented with the certificates during the Night.

my... i am so short!

I received my certificate during the night too since I was one of the newly elected. For any graduate architects in Malaysia to be entitled into the Corporate Member category, one gigantic hurdle to leap over is the Professional Part 3 Exam.

It is to my believe that this exam is known as a ‘very-very scary’ exam due to it's toughness to most who ventured into architectural line, right from the start being a student of the course. The fact that failing rate triple the passing rate every year makes this scary feeling even more sound. Repeating to sit for the examination is considered as acceptable. Some do it 2 times, 3 times, 4 times…. Even 12 times.. I heard before. Some lost the battle to fight and could no longer be bothered to further sit for the exam.

I knew I’ve got to at least try to sit for the exam since my university study, but I admit it’s my boss whom actually had driven me to do so. That – I thank him lots. From the early months that I was attached to the company, he had been implementing into us all young graduate architects to take on the exam. Also, with my cousin Safrul’s success being entitled as a Licensed Surveyor and of what he told me, that I’d never know how the exam be until I sit for myself…….. ya…I was pretty sure, I’ve got to give it a go.
Not only after two years of working I did fill in my practical experience log book, being a requirement to be fulfilled prior sitting for the exam. So, the lazy me. Two years is the minimum period mandatory for log book and to be submitted by end February, a year in-advanced of your intended year to take the exam.
So, I submitted mine in 2007 only to sit for exam in 2008.

When I mean to sit for the exam, never that I expected to be gotten pregnant. But, it was okay…. The whole of pregnancy was fine… and bukannya study pun! Again, so the lazy me. I gave birth to a long waited lovely girl, Nada Firas bt Abdul Harris on end January 08.

The written exam is usually scheduled in July yearly with a compulsory pass of oral exam earlier being carried out in May. So, before giving birth, I thought I would gonna have a lot of time to study during the confinement. Damn! I was wrong. With a newborn to juggle, myself to take care off… not much time left. Should there be any, I just wanted to lay my feet up and relax.
Errrrrr…. Or also I wanted to accompany my mami watching all the soaps on tele. 10.30am – drama Melayu on tv2, 11.30am – drama Indon on tv3, 2.00pm – drama Hindustan on tv2 again, 4.00pm – drama Taiwan. Well, pick one!
He.. he… So don’t blame on the time. It’s not the real thing.. Time and again, the lazy me.

In April PAM conducted optional tutorial classes with certain fees to be paid for whom are taking the exam. It was actually my turning point to realize the exam was not far away as I attended the tutorial classes and I was snapped off from my lay back period. When I attended the classes, I noted how advanced other candidates were in way of their preparation. Some have already have their thick notes being marked according to chapters, scribbles shown it has been read… maybe twice or even over and over again. Some told me they have been having study groups for a year and had weekly discussion, that the exam was getting closer, they have it twice a week. Some remember contract clauses by heart. Not that I do not know the clauses… but I do not memorize the clauses numbers! My notes were so clean with no single scratch. I just bought a day before the class started. Aduh… I got kan-chiong.

After the first class I ran to my ever-dependable husband Harris, to share my kan-chiongness. This guy, he can take every thing lightly.(except if he’s late to catch for a flight). I was told to face the exam my own way, never in anybody else’s shoes. I thank him dearly for all his words and supports. When I say I got backache sitting on the stool to study, he bought me a new chair…. He knew I hate driving, and so willing to send and pick me from classes with our baby girl in the car seat – barely 3 months old. At times he would bring Nada for outings to malls while waiting for me. He would make sure he had completed all his “attending-to-toilets” business at home before leaving for the malls and not to eat or drink a lot. If not…. How la? As for praying time, he would pushed the stroller into the surau, let Nada waited in it while taking ablution and placed Nada by his side during praying!… Cool, huh! For a man that can do this?

If some people, by some means do not have the privilege to pursue their plan in studying or taking exam of such due to pregnancy or a newborn…. I am grateful enough that I was able to pull through with the great support from a husband.

Realizing that I needed a plan, I structured my own study considering the tons of reading materials and the past years exam questions that I have to go through. Truly, not much time left for me until the exam. Making a plan was easy but to diligently abide by the plan, was a different story all together. I am not the burning the midnight oil type to study even though I was an architecture student. (Well, in university…. Arch. students are always known as “burung hantu” for sleepless nights). I just can’t and always need the good full doze, only an hour or less was spent at nights to study after putting Nada to sleep. Mostly, I would also tertido while tido’kan Nada!

Half hour in the morning before going to work and another half hour after work while waiting for Harris to fetch me. That was about all the time I could squeeze to study during weekdays.
Longer period would be on weekends, sometimes up to two hours a session. Mostly the sessions were after Subuh prayer and during Nada’s morning and afternoon sleep. Again, I was fortunate to have Harris to entertain Nada whenever she was awake.

Baby Nada "accompanying" mommy for before work-morning study

The studying period might look short and insufficient but I just got to do with that. A good way that I always practice myself was, to do the thinking and digesting whatever I learned from the books while doing other things. I might be deep doing house chores but I had my brain doing ‘her’ job too. That was to think and comprehend. Sometimes, Harris also got puzzled with me when I suddenly went – “I think I know the answer ………….. blah, blah, blah” right after I came out from toilet. I did the thinking during my before sleep teeth brushed. Until then, he got used to it already.

However, I do not force the brain to be on the same subject whenever ‘she’ doesn’t want to. Example, if I was watching my favorite programs on tv, the brain usually was concentrating on tv too and preferred not to be disturbed. Should I was watching Prison Break… I’d be Michael Scoffield myself! He he. I am a tele-lover!… for programs that I love la… Not all.

For the oral exam, I begged Harris for a new outfit. Saje je, just to make me a bit happy and gained confidence by the outlook. He bought me a Moschino shirt – my first ever, and I was delighted.
I freaked out on the oral exam day itself, that I called my boss. (of all the people!) Despite having an appointment with a client at that time, he still talked to me. He’s not all that bad after all. My boss told me – “If you fail the exam, Yanti.. I don’t really know who can actually pass!” ???????? Hmmmm, I don’t quite understand either. We ended up the conversation with the client also wishing me good luck. But my boss insisted for NOT wishing any luck as he said I don’t need one… Aparaaaa.

I did fine for oral exam and was notified the results on the spot. Phew, one hurdle leaped.

Near to the written exam, I called my mami to notify that I’d be facing a big exam and wished for her prayers. My mami ( ……… urh…. I can’t even think of what she had helped me on )…., I was emotionally sober to knowing that she made an effort to wake up from her sleep for the midnight Solat Hajat, praying for my success. Shameful, I didn’t even do it for my own self! How can I ever thank her?

I took three days off from work before the written exam day to really concentrate on studying at home, all alone. Even sent Nada to her Nanny’s. I glued myself to the chair with nothing else except books and exam questions. I gathered as many questions as I want to ask or discuss with my colleague whom is a Professional Architect himself that I regard as my mentor. I made it a point to drive myself (mind people – I really hate driving) to office at an ease time for him to attend to me, since I was the one who’s seeking for help.

Day of the exam, I was sent by Harris and of course Nada too. There were two papers to sit, one in the morning and one in the afternoon with lunch break in the middle, making both of them waited for me all day long every where around KL. The Mall, Pavillion, Bird Park….. I made Harris promised that I‘d be able to see him first every time I came out from the exam hall. He kept his words and sure he was right in front of the hall cuddling our precious baby girl.

I was chairing a meeting when I received the text from a friend informing the exam results have been announced and asked for what I’ve got. The usual long winded meeting was sped up and cut short for I can’t wait to reply the text. I was surprised to know it was out and at that moment, I still haven’t received mine. In fact, my results only reached me 2 days later than others at office address.

Seeing the results, I knew I had put in my best effort… but of course there were some reserved deep inside for any failure. So, the fact I passed – what crossed my mind was “I actually made it the FIRST time?” – percaya ada, tak percaya pun ada. Straight I went for an ablution and performed Sujud Syukur, then made the important call to Harris.
After such, only I gave an extreme loud shout that whole office were shocked! He he… bikin gempak sikit. Hmmmm… it really feels so GOOD!
My boss gave me a strong congratulation hand-shake. Pergh ! Harris belanja me a good dinner!

News traveled fast. Meeting clients – they call me Architect ! (must be my boss whom told them..) Conducting site inspections – the contractors call me Architect !. Notes from my boss – he never forgot to put Ar in front of my name. Balik kampong – my cousins call me Ar ! ( this… because I announced it in my blog, he he) even though I have yet to register myself.

Able to be called as an Architect is ‘SOMETHING’ and far difference from Medical Doctors whom may be called as Dr once graduated from school. That’s not the case for my line.
Having the title however, is just a start for me. I am so-so distant from what can be say as true achievement. There are so many things I want to do and I got to work hard for what I want.
For myself - GAMBATE KU DASAI!!!!

I’ll be happy if my write-up here benefits anyone whom reads it, especially my still-schooling young cousins whom all I love. For those who can, many lines may be picked up as reference, guidance and motivation. Like,
… it’a ok to be kanchiong – but, chill! More important is to find ways to get rid of the kanchiongness.
… must plan !
… train ur brain.
… do not complain for not having enough time. Make use of time.
… sought help to anyone who is reliable
… remember, a mother’s prayer will always be the best
… and many-many more.

However, I am not writing intentionally for any other people than for my very own precious love – Nada.
Daddy is right – Always do things in your own shoes and never in anyone else’s.
Mommy is right too – You got to plan your ways in things you want to do and must at best put the highest effort to secure success. Never that it will come to you in a golden plate. One might has best brain but is useless without strain.

Still you fail, you know you have done your best….. and in whatever shape you are, you know you will always have mommy whom loves you unconditionally to run to should you need a shoulder to cry on.

THINGS I LOVE TO DO FOR NADA

I completed another gorgeous dress for Nada. Unlike my first self-made dress for her, this one was quite a bit of intricate to do even though the finished dress looks just as simple. The preparation of polar was helped by my mami and she had earlier warned me, the dress would not be that easy to do. There would be a lot pre-hand stitches if I want the complete product to be nice and neat particularly for the neckline. Briefly, my mami explained to me the areas that she thought I needed help with a piece of old newspaper.

…. In her soft way ….. “Adik ambik kain ni ‘manje gak, Adik letok tepi beloh. Pah gak jahik haluuuuuuh…. Pah balik kok ni. Pah tindih bui kemah. Pah jahik haluh kok tepi ni……..” Her hands treating the old newspaper like a piece of cloth. And me… I also got pening, I knew I’ve got to somehow further figure out by myself.

Any free time I had, I did a lot of thinking on how to execute the dress. During my bathing, in the car during traveling to and from work (good that I don’t have to drive myself) or when my boss starts with his grandmother’s story and I don’t feel concentrating to what he says even though my facial expression might show the opposite. (Sorry, boss!)

Despite the thinking and planning, I still made a mistake for the cloth first cut that I had to re-do. Skill does not come in a day and my mami always told me, if I want to see good end product, I should be patience enough to try until I get it. I am fine with that. Further more I was doing something I love for someone I love so much.

Nada during the dress fitting

Nada wore the dress for first time for an outing dinner with Mentibang’s family. Harris commented, even though the dress’s Sunday is intended to be longer than the Monday ….. somehow it looked to much longer than it was supposed to be.
My eyes too, sense it was not there yet.

Nada was posing in the new dress before dinner.

Indeed, the Monday WAS too long!

I made an alteration in shortening the length of dress lining so that the frills fits just right to be seen. Also, after considering few alternatives in accentuating the look of the dress, I decided for some simple thread embroidery at middle part of the dress.

This finished product – I love it!

I love crafts works, ……MORE than that, just LOVE to make dresses for Nada.

It is a norm event for us to dine out that I can admit our ‘eats’ do take quite a fraction of our monthly expenditure budget. Be it at warungs, restaurants, clubs, hotels where ever. But thus far, I hardly feed Nada any other than homemade food. Fear for suitability, cleanliness, MSG, salt and sugar – I guess.
So, even if we eat at a hotel restaurant, I still pack for her the homemade food.

Small percentage of Nada’s diet would be baby food from supermarket rack like jar food, biscuits, baby yogurts, baby cereals and stuffs. When I started introducing solids for her I did depend on ready baby cereals for about one and a half months, in her 7th plus. Not long, I feel sad for her ….. even though there are so many choices of baby cereals. I do not want to use ‘no time’ as an excuse. So, I followed the advices and suggestions in Baby Food books that I have, by storing homemade puree in the freezer.

All the while, I never thought to take the photographs of all these frozen purees, but Harris…. Semua benda nak ambik gambar!

I am glad I did take the effort. It was an easy-peasy. I just need to thaw the puree in refrigerator overnight. Or… in the morning, make some rice porridge before adding the varieties of puree in. Sometimes, it could be pasta – macaroni or spaghetti. If my morning is early, I freshly cook porridges for her.

3 numbers of Nada’s front teeth had erupted in last 3 weeks and her appetite gets bigger! Usually, I supplied biscuits / ready baby cereal for breakfast and home made porridge for lunch and dinner topped with 3 times 7oz ratio of formula milk to her Nanny’s.

I observed Nada wants to snack quite a lot lately, so I decided…. Before going to work, to also make some breakfast apart from cooking her lunch and dinner to bring to her Nanny’s and leave biscuits for her snacks.

I think I am not that good with cooking but I do love to cook for my girl. Nada is like daddy, she has no rejection for whatever new recipe I tried thus far. It seems…. Semua sedap to her! She used to detest carrot but now I have got no problem with carrots anymore.

Last week I experimented a new recipe for breakfast I got from googling the Toddler Food sites.

MINI MACARONI CHEESE for 8-18 month babies
1. 1/4 cups milk1 bay leaf
2. 4 oz. macaroni or small pasta shapes
3. 1 oz. unsalted butter or margarine4 tablespoons flour

4. 1/2 cup grated Gruyere cheese

a.Heat the milk with the bay leaf until almost boiling. Remove from the heat, cover and leave to infuse.

b.Cook the macaroni.

c. Melt the butter in a clean pan, remove from the heat and stir in the flour. Gradually stir the milk into the pan.

d. Stir the sauce over a medium heat until thickened. Simmer for 3 minutes and then stir in half the cheese and all the macaroni.
e. Spoon into four small baking pans or heatproof dishes. Sprinkle the remaining cheese over each and cook under the broiler until golden.

Chill out…. Who wants to get bay leaves and just use one! I didn’t even try to look for it and replaced with McCormic mixed herbs instead, which I already have it in my kitchen. I do not have an oven, so I steamed the dish using the normal rice cooker.
It turned out well. Nada’s Nanny asked me if I could bring extra because the others liked it too. (She has 3 in her care including Nada). Well, whatever I cooked …. I always reserve for others too. But any extra than that….. with cheese… expensive unsalted butter…. Alamak, I’ll try my best la Cik Nanny.

Nada dines at restaurant, Nada dines on her high chair, Nada savouring every single feed, Nada shouts for more food!

As much as I love to try new recipe for Harris, I love doing the same for Nada too.

Never that I feel so excited when it comes to possessing a gold jewelry… not until I made one for Nada. I have already received the phone call from Habib that her name pendant is ready for collection. Working weekdays seems impossible for us to drop by at the franchise, so I guess we will wait for the coming weekend to pay the visit. I really hope it’s gonna be a beautiful one. OW..

can't wait!

Of all, I hope I will not develop this love to do for Nada into an obsessed.

The US economy must be really bad.... I've been trying to call my share agent in Wall Street and Nikkei, no one pick up my call. Hallo ! Hallo !

THAT'S MY GIRL....

RIDE FOR A SURGERY - THE DAY

We arrived at the hospital 10 minutes later than we were supposed to and I went straight to the ward admission counter. After some documentation work and paying the deposit amount, the same admission staff escorted me to the ward. A ward nurse then measured my height and weight.
Once done and shown to my room, I changed my outfit to the hospital gown and tried to make myself comfortable. Breakfast was served but Harris finished it all on my behalf because I was required to be fasting.

At around 8.30am, an Aesthetician by the name of Dr ARxxx came to see me. He briefed on the procedure and queried if I would be opting full body or half body anesthetic.
I thought since it’s gonna be a minor operation, I chose half body anesthetic knowingly it’s never good to be under anesthetic drugs. I was also required to sign the permission form for allowing drugs to be inserted into my body.
Frankly, I think this Aesthetician got to polish his ‘people skill’. He didn’t speak that well and seems lazy to further explain. He should responsibly give details on what he would do, what type of drug he would use, how long it would take to take effect… bla, bla, bla and most importantly, describe to me what I should expect to feel.
I did ask him the questions, but I know those were ‘lazy answers’ I got from the way he answered. Should he answered same way in his exams during the study and if I would be the lecturer…. I could have failed him. May be he thought, even he explains I wouldn’t understand. WRONG JUDGEMENT!. Lazy bump. Please la doctors…… (all my dear friends whom are doctors, be passionate la sket. There is this word we pronounce as HOSPITALITY fits best in hospitals…….)

A nurse tried to take my blood for testing using the syringe from my left arm, but she failed. I thought so, as I had it before during my pregnancy. I was told my veins were too ‘halus’ and they were deep underneath the skin not wanting to surface even though with arms exercise.
Dr Ishak then came for a ward round check with a nurse, again tried to take my blood from the right arm. This another nurse also failed miserably leaving my arms in a sore due to syringe puncture with no blood coming out.
Final effort was from the doctor himself, using like-butterfly shape clamp.. being inserted to the back of my left palm. Luckily, he didn’t embarrass himself. Siap cakap – ni kalau tak boleh jugak… malu saya dekat ramai nurse nih!

For a long boredom in the room, my turn at last came at around 11.00am. I was required to change bed and was wheeled to the Operation Ward with Harris accompanying me right to the door. In the Operation Ward lobby, I was again transferred to another bed and being asked procedure questions by a nurse – I heard other nurses called her ‘Sister’. Among the questions were :
1. What is your name?
2. Do you know what operation to undergo.
3. Who signed the anesthetic permission form.
One question, I thought I was so blurrr WAS…. Have you been cleaned? In my rightful mind, since Operation Theatre is a room theoretically to be cleaned and sterile, I answered…. Well, I have taken my bath at home before coming to hospital.

The sister gave me one big smile!

Apparently, that was not the answer she expected for the actual question was purportedly – “Have you been shaved?” Kuang – kuang – kuang! How do I know to read between the lines! Just ask-la. Duh.
So folks, should you ever being asked this question, don’t be so *blurr* like me… answer correctly.

After so, only I was wheeled into Operation Ward and being place at another holding area next to a patient. Dr ARxxx came again and checked the information board by my feet. He walked around to and fro with no single word to me and all I knew, injected somekind of drugs (I guess) into the drips. Just about 5 to 10 seconds upon, I felt the effect…. It was cold…. So cold and so vividly felt that the drugs was running thru my legs and my back.

Few nurses were also looking at the information board and asking among themselves on what sort of operation that I would go thru. I was so scared of the operation, but scared more knowing the nurses actually didn’t really understand what was written on the information board.

To nurses, even if you all don’t really know …. Shuh! Talk away from the patient! Apa la!

Then came, a tall-dark-handsome looking guy wearing green color robe and introduced himself to me as Dr Halim – the Aesthetician responsible during my operation. One look of the information board, he explained to the nurses of my operation and they went…. “OOOOooooo”

15 minutes to 12 noon, I was wheeled into the Operation Theatre.
Alahai, again…. So, so scary to me. It was a very cold, bright and so ‘white’ room. In the center was the operation table with huge spot lights about 4 feet above it and sharp utensils at sides. The only good thing about the room was, they played one of my favorite nos by Michael Bolton – Time, Love & Tenderness.

From the bed, I was transited to the operation table. Really, it was hard and so uncomfortable. Dr Halim was sensitive towards my reaction that he ordered an operation theatre staff to place a pillow under my head. There I was on the operation table observing peoples – walking around me, preparing the tools and whatnot.

Not for long I was asked to raise and sit with a slight bend forward holding a pillow close to my chest. Dr Halim told me he would perform the anesthetic injection at the lower part of my backbone or also called as epidural space. I could feel the cold antiseptic solution being rub at my lower back, and with a warning….. Prik! ….. Aduh sakitnya! Besar betul rasa jarum tuh!

Instantly, my legs were heavy and numb. I was helped to being placed on my back and I knew, that was it. I was so terrified which my tears eventually flew out from corners of my eyes vigorously. MAN! I should just have asked for a full body anesthetic!
In a sobbed, I told Dr Halim that – I am scared. This handsome doctor gave a friendly pat on my shoulder ensuring there was nothing to be afraid of. He’s such a gentleman, I was about to ask him if he’s married for I have many SMART-HOT-SINGLE friends that I could introduce to him. Ghee!
He then suggested for sedative to make me sleep. There goes, another drug into my drips.

Now not only my legs were heavy, my head was too. In my heart I was reciting… Subhanallah – Subhanallah – Subhanallah. But far-far-far at the back of my head, I heard Mr Bolton shouting :

When love puts you thru the fire
When love puts you thru the test
Nothing heals a broken heart
Like
Time Love and Tenderness…..

….. Alamak, mana satu nak ikut nih?…. show me the light, ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

RIDE FOR A SURGERY - DAYS BEFORE

It all started when I had a lengthy episode of coughing in December 08 before the Aidiladha. Along with the coughing I felt something is not right, uncomfortable and there was a bulge by the vaginal wall.
But there was no pain at all, I was able to urine as normal and my menstrual cycle was perfectly on time before and even after I could feel the bulge.
I thought, was it the pelvic floor muscle has gone loose due to my coughing?… and further more I was not practicing the Kegel exercise that often anymore due to laziness.
I read an article before, pelvic floor muscle may go loose and sometimes even got hang outside the vaginal as women aged. My…. My not in my 30s!

Anyways, I told my other half that I must see a doctor for an advise. We decided for a visit to my cousin – Feby’s favorite family physician in Ampang – Dr Azizah on 16.12.08. I had a checked and this friendly doctor told me, it was nothing associated with pelvic floor muscle. All of my pelvic floor muscle, ovary and bladder were intact.
The bulge was about 3cm in diameter and she suspected it only contained liquid. She then referred me to an Obstetrician and Gynecologist in Ampang Puteri Specialist Hospital who seems to be her friend, Dr Fauziah.

As I went out from her room…. My heart went….. *dup-dap-dup-dap-dup-dap* - a hundred times faster!

The next day, I made my way to APSH to arrange for an appointment. To my astonishment, I would only be able to see Dr Fauziah in a month time, should be on 19.01.09 because she’s only in the clinic for 3 days a week. The others are the locum doctors. Argh!… All these rich doctors in private hospitals. They only have to work 3 days a week and yet so wealthy! (Nada! Mommy wants u to be a doctor in private practices!…. he, he. Whatever……)
I made up my mind, I can’t wait for a month just to see a doctor. There are so many fish in the sea, so why try to fish for a difficult one.

On the 03.01.09, (do not have the chance to go any earlier than the date due to visiting from family all thru Christmas and New Year Hols.) I went to see the OB-GYN whom earlier handled my delivery, Dr Ishak in Seremban Specialist Hospital. From the check, he briefed me that the bulge is called para-urethral mass. Urethra is an area which form a female private part. As to my case, he agreed with Dr Azizah that the bulge looked only contained liquid and suggested for an excision surgery.
DEAR ! … surgery? I had a cold feet and tabled my own suggestion trying to avoid any kind of surgery. I asked Dr Ishak, since it only contains liquid, can we just make some kind of small pierce and let the liquid out?… macam bisul?… he he.

Don’t laugh at me……, he noted it is also one way but by so doing the bulge may reappear and an excision is still a better option.
Hmmmm, I am not so sure if that could be the best advise or he was thinking of RM-RM-RM-RM he would earn by performing the surgery. But who am I to judge a specialist doctor’s advise even though I always know it is not necessarily the best option.

So, there it goes, 16.01.09 was the date scheduled for the surgery. (If I were to wait for the doctor in APSH – I would still be waiting for the appointment date just to see the doctor)

A week before the scheduled surgery, I decided to change the date to 23.01.09. It was because my office would be closing down the whole week of Chinese New Year, so I thought coinciding the break with my surgery would do good to reduce unattended office work once I go back to work.

Am I a good employee or a STUPID one? Most would say a stupid one - when you can have a ‘free’ m.c and skip work, why coincide it with the office break?
Not to feel so stupid I’d like to think of other reasons to postpone the surgery would be, the date 16.01.09 was too near to my menstrual and should I been bedridden at home, Harris would not need to take many days off from work since CNY is declared as public holiday, to take care of me. Further more it was a surgery which was categorized as not so urgently required.

Of all, I was worry the most about Nada. How would I arrange for somebody to take care of her while me being hospitalized? Harris suggested to bring her along but I was not so fond with the idea, knowing it would not be easy, even though I would love to have her around me. I do not want to upset her routine particularly her dines and sleeps if she was also brought to the hospital. I could imagine Harris feeding Nada milk-milk-milk and only milk whenever she cries as how was he going to prepare her meals in the hospital? And should Nada needed her sleep, where would Harris place her? Had I under estimated my husband? Well, I was being practical.

I thought of sending Nada to her Nanny’s, but it was a bad idea either. I don’t feel it was good for Nada to spend her night at the Nanny’s for she might feel – it is bad enough for Mommy to leave me by day, now Mommy wants to leave me here by night too. (Or was it me whom actually felt that way?)

At last, the kindhearted cousin of mine – Feby was glad enough to take care of Nada when I asked her should she was able to, after the suggestion from my another cousin, Kakak. For Nada, I imagined her thinking, it was just a sleepover at her Cik Byie and Uncle Brad Pitt’s place while she could also catch up with her cousins – Big Bro Aqil & Sis Izz.
I have always thought of it but I do not want to burden no one, if possible.

The week before surgery, I spent late nights after work increasing Nada’s puree stocks in the freezer so it would be easy for Harris to prepare her meals should I was unable to do after the surgery. Getting all these brick-a-brack prepared, in a way made myself prepared for the surgery until just a day before, I received a phone call from Dr Ishak’s clinic clerk.

The clerk during her phone call informed me that I should register at an earlier time for ward admission, 8.30am was changed to 7.00am. It was all because she forgot to ask for my signature pursuant to filling in the insurance claim form. Since the surgery can only be performed if clearance from insurance company is obtained, I was needed to arrive earlier than supposed to be to expedite the clearance procedures. Du-uh!

Arriving in SSH at 7.00am means I had to make the move from my place latest by 5.30am, considering a stopover at Feby’s. Not very difficult, but thinking of carrying Nada while she was still sleeping and left her in the dark dawn, she’d freak out …. I don’t think I should.
I told the clerk, 8.30am means 8.30am. I don’t want to change my plan and if need be I would pay the hospital bill in cash and get it claim later.

Out of rage, I notified Harris about the wanted change. Thankfully, Harris has always has his own ways in putting scenarios back in place whenever I can’t.
Since I am the type whom always want things to be in the way I planned and easily get agitated if it slacken, Harris on the hand is a calm and cool type, so he balances me well. This is one of many things that make us compatible this far. After a good discussion and comprehending Harris’s saying, I was no longer the fierce-ugly monster wanting to eat the clinic clerk but all relaxed and composed, accepting that I just have to be in the hospital at 7.00am. Lets not make a fuss about it.

MY 1 YEAR OLD NADA FIRAS

Nada a day after 1st Birthday

Nada turned one 17 days ago on 30.01.2009. For her first birthday, I decided for a top-up to her education insurance fund and something for a fine remembrance I ordered a gold name pendant at Habib Jewels out of my own pocket. Not that I am a fond of *bling-bling*, but I always agree gold will be a worth-it buy as memoir to mark a celebration. And since the gold price is hiking up by day, I think I will only get her the pendant this year, the chain… tunggu dulu, maybe next year! He he. Unless, daddy is willing enough to take some from his pocket for the chain or else Nada will get a chainless pendant for her first birthday. :P

See mommy, I'm big enuf to swing like Jane of the jungle

even, my car seat is too small for me now... i think i need a toddler seat

As much as me not wanting my girl to end her year one, she on the other hand is pressing the acceleration pedal, speeding fast. Crossing a year old line, I noticed Nada was showing so much new developments in just this two weeks. I used to play *chik-ku-chak*…. Tickling her underarms… Blowing her tummy….. She would giggle all the way as I did it to her.
But now, it’s the other way round, she is the one trying to blow my tummy or tickle my underarm or does the *chik-ku-chak* to me. He he …. It is so cute, to have small little fingers trying to ‘geletek’ my underarms. When I forbid her from blowing my tummy by holding my shirt as I am lying down, she will move away from me. At the instance that I let go my shirt, her speedy hands hastily grab my shirt, raise it and she would blow my tummy making sure she left as much saliva as she could! Upon so doing, she’d give me her cunning looking smile and big laugh as if saying – “I got you!”
Since, she is still not able to say words… her *chik-ku-chak* is….. hide behind our see thru sliding door curtain, gives a sweet smile and waits for me to say *chik-ku-chak*! Only then she’d show her face by lifting the curtain. How adorable!

She was able to differentiate a phone and a television remote control a couple of months back (May be just ours). If it is a phone she’d put it to her ear as if there is some one on the side, as for the tv remote control, she’d point at the tv imitating what we usually do. This morning when we rushed for work, I asked for her to hand to me the tv remote control to turn it off. She refused, so I told her – “Nada, please help Mommy to turn off the tv by pressing this red button” in just an abrupt way, not even looking at her face thinking she would not comprehend. Instead, she did pressed the red button with her index finger. When the tv went off, she clapped both of her hands and gave me her cheeky teasing smile. Maybe she didn’t even understand what I said, but her action was so précised.

I did realize that Nada was trying to use her index finger for already quite some time. Somehow, she was only mastering to use it a few days back when she carefully pressing one-by-one of her play organ notes. Not the way she used to do, sometimes with 2 fingers, 3 fingers or simply her hold fist banging anywhere of the organ part as long as any sounds came out!

Nada has such wet mouth with saliva constantly dripping that I always need to put the bib on. Her Uncle Brad Pitt (nslave) said if I ever ‘takung’ the drips, I can actually use it to water the house plants! Many say I could have wanted to eat something during my pregnancy but was not able to. Some say, it could due to teething. We waited for the teeth to extrude out long enough but not until on Valentine’s Day two days ago it really appeared, although the shades have been in her gum for months. I soon will be able to use her toothbrush and not the gumbrush anymore.

glimpse of my tooth! - x-cuse my nostrils, :)

I usually place Nada’s shoes in line and the diapers in stack at each side of her clothes cabinet’s open shelves. Since the shelves are within her reach if she stands by holding to the cabinet, she just love to pull the shoes and diapers out to the floor and create a big mess.
Last week after like the usual mess she does, she looked at me and called me (in her own… AAAAA) with a proud face messing Mommy’s keep. I think she expected me to pick up the mess, but I just let her be instead. She then herself, picked up the shoes and diapers and put them back at the shelves. What amused me was she separated the shoes and diapers into different shelves just the way I do. It might be a co-incidence – I don’t know. Only thing they were not in line or stacks la….. simply shaft in! I regretted for not having the chance to catch it in a video. Harris brought the camera to his Penang site visit.

arghhhh,... wouldn't it be fun to mess up those inside the chest too.

Wonder what more development Nada will show and what more joy Nada will bring us in the coming days. I just so thankful to Allah s.w.t for lending me His greatness by allowing me to have this wonderful moments of motherhood. Should I ever fail to perform my responsibolity as a mother, I pledge His mercy to show me where have I gone wrong and give me the chance to make it right.

A year of pleasure having Nada Firas had passed… but just in a calendar year, never in the beat of my soul. She will always be my little girl at heart……. And of cause, daddy’s too.

NADA WEARS PRADA

wif mommy ... i can stand, but i can't let go the stroller!

wif daddy

wif mommy & daddy

...IT'S A PALE GREEN HOME by YantiMahamud

Chapter 4 - Five Rooms of The Home

~~~~~~ Coming soon to your screen sometime in February (hopefully) ~~~~~~

**** Ini adalah iklan

..IT'S A PALE GREEN HOME by YantiMahamud

Chapter 3 – Ibu Rumah

A typical Malay traditional house that I learned during my architectural study must always have the poise and grandeur of ‘Ibu Rumah’. This significant element was also reflected to my home.
The Ibu Rumah of my home began right from the front main entrance door with the size, I estimate, was 15ft x 12ft almost a square shape. This part, it actually contradicted with the theory that I learned, of which it is supposed to be an ‘anjung’ or a semi private area for any traditional house acts as a transition area before entering the Ibu Rumah.
We don’t have any ‘anjung’.

The space then lead to a bigger main area of approximately 27ft x 30ft. Big, huh? And believe it or not, there was only one ceiling fan at the center of this huge space back then. I remember, I used to directly headed to the area upon a tired long walk in the afternoon hot sun for returning home from school and reciting Quran, took my afternoon nap under the fan with just my undies.
One rule by Mok, all of her grandchildren under her care must take afternoon nap on daily basis! It’s for resting according to her. So it was not only me… there were few nos of us … “selonggok bawah kipas!”. Sometimes, with one’s head at somebody’s foot.
One cousin whom always had the longest sleep was Rafiyuddin.
After our nap, we love so much if Mok fed all of us under the fan if not at the legendary bright orange concrete staircase. Our favorite was rice mixed with tomato ketchup and soya sauce coupled with soya sauce scrambled egg. My cousin Safrul, would not trade with anything else for this simple gourmet. Don’t know if he still have the love for soya sauce scramble egg now…

Both of these squares spaces of Ibu Rumah were linked and divided into 5 areas with designated function. There were a formal living area, formal dining area, family / tv area, multipurpose area and also an area separated from the multipurpose area by a checkered wooden divider fronting the formal living with the most frequently changed look almost like a chameleon making it as my favorite area of all.

Sometimes, Mok placed two of one seater sofa guarding a huge flower bouquet there. At another time, Mok would convert it to an ‘audio’ area by putting a radio. Also it could be a display area for her shining antique copper gadgets such as big pots, small pots, iron, trays, candle holder and whatnot. If Mok feels to just dress it up with only a nice carpet and few cushions, it then would look that way.
Whatever way Mok did it, it was always looked good with the checkered wooden divider as the backdrop full of Mok’s little display items, example from the many types are China-Japan ceramic saucers and glasses, copper mascara container from Mecca and souvenirs from weddings.

What makes this chameleon like area more makes sense was it’s strategic location. It was at the heart of the home and being a focal point for anyone entering the home from it’s main entrance, as they walked pass through the formal living area.

The formal living area on the other hand, I consider it as Mok’s show-off show room. Well, her showing off was not to other people but her own-self for satisfaction. It’s the area where Mok would place the best furniture set with the finest upholstery cover usually matched the curtains complete with knitted or embroidered chair-back and small cushions. The coffee table must always be complemented with a pretty cover and changed of flower bouquets. So were the corners of living area, must always be beautify with flower bouquets or any displays. Ash-trays must always be emptied and cleaned up. It was really a nice-neat space, well lit-up and airy caused by the crossed ventilation.
The only thing…, we can’t really spend our time at the formal living. It was supposed to be Mok’s ‘show room’!… not a play area for a mess by her many grandchildren…. But we don’t really care, there were plenty of other spaces in the home. If not, the home compound is big enough for our runs!

Mok serves the multipurpose area as an ironing space and for telephone. The telephone was so logical that Mok locate it so near to her bedroom so that she was able to monitor who used the phone even if when she was sleeping. Oh dear, Mok has beautiful daughters – my aunties and also growing up grandchildren who just love to hang on the phone!
I don’t really know why the ironing table was placed there though. I guess… because there was a socket at that spot?
But somehow, it worked well. It was not far from my mami’s sewing area that she had to commute from her sewing machine to press the cloth during her sewing. And at night, despite the ironing table was placed at the multipurpose area, there was no need to switch light on for ironing. The light from family or tv area where we usually spend awake time at night the most would be enough.
Mok usually did the ironing at nights. Again, Mok was the one ironing the school uniforms for her grandchildren staying with her, under her care. Mok would neatly placed all the ironed uniforms including our socks and handkerchief according to each of the grandchildren for the ease of us in the morning! Very particular and I really thank Mok, not only for all her does for me but the great example she had portrayed. I must have got the gene from her when it comes to being neat and proper.
We were considered as best dressed kids to school in our kampong with cleaned, ironed uniforms every day. Wonderful.

My home, seemed so modest……… but was a very practical and so beautiful in it’s own way. The home itself, the events that took placed in it be a sweet or a sour one, the way things were done in it… had been a canvas to my childhood life. It was painted so well that I now develop to be the person whom loves herself so much.