My dear girl is soon reaching 12 months in another 2 weeks, which can be equally saying as celebrating her first year birthday!
For me, I have a mix feeling towards it. So happy that she is gonna be one and very-very-very sad that I haven’t got enough of her year one.
It is a bad thing that the percentage of my SAD is bigger than my HAPPY.
I feel like putting her back into my womb and start it all over again except for the painful giving birth part.
She grew up too fast for me. The fact that I am a working mother, further cuts down my time spent with her. Sometimes, I deny myself in believing facts such as when her nanny told me about her new developments that she was able to roll onto her tummy until I seen it with my own eyes. I even record the date of her first time in her Baby Book according to my first time seeing whatever new development.
What the heck … I’ll let her know later when she understands. At least, that is the guide … “it’s mommy fist time seeing you…. roll, on all four, crawl, sit up straight on your own, drink from the beaker, taking first step, …. And more”
I guess, that is the painful price I have to pay for not able to be with her round the clock.
As Nada ventured into her 11 month, I started to decrease the amount of my home made puree stock in the freezer. The usual one and a half week stock became a week stock. I decided to more freshly cook her meals in the morning before going to work and bring to the nanny’s. It is solely because I feel she has taken puree so much, she might get bored and I want to let her has the taste of toddler food… more of textured and chunkier foodie. Along to it, I alternate with purees.
Four days ago, she had her first pasta. It’s a recipe I got from watching The Naked Chef by Jamie Oliver. Was it Naked Chef? It could be other of his many shows.
Jamie used spaghetti but I used macaroni instead.
It was Macaroni Beef with Steamed Cinnamon Asparagus. Sounds good? It smells good too!
Fetching Nada after work at her nanny’s, I asked if Nada likes it or not? Her nanny happily let me know that Nada has no refusal at all… and seems to like it. Fuh… worth my effort. Prolonging the usual ‘bual-bual’, her nanny informed me … “Saya rasa sikit masakan tu. Tawar. Saya letak garam!!!” in her Indonesian dialect.
I thought…. What the f***!
I, myself have already go against the advise in the many books on Baby Food that I read for not to add salt and sugar by adding itsy-bitsy-tiny-winy little amount of salt, and now she added for more!!!!!!
Aduh, macam nak meletup – Of course, that can only happen inside me. Politely, I told the nanny.. Well, next time you don’t to have to put any salt in any of Nada’s meal…. with a BIG FAKE SMILE on my face.
Again… I guess, that is the super painful price I have to pay for not able to be with Nada round the clock……
Among all, yesterday’s repeat incident broke my heart the most.
Like usual, Harris will unpack Nada’s stuff from the bag once we returned home after fetching her. Taking out the towel, Harris told me that it smell cigarette’s smoke.
I have told the nanny before, should her husband wants to smoke, please avoid the children. But, how on earth I can control it not to happen?
I take a great deal on health care and cleanliness. It’s almost my daily routine to sweep house floor twice a day. It gets tighter on weekends that I only complete my cleaning by sweeping using the conventional broom for the first round, follows by vacuuming to ensure the tiny dust between floor tiles, carpet, sofa, dining chair being removed, then moping the floor, disinfecting Nada’s toys while waiting the floor to dry and lastly wiping the floor using Magic Clean cloth.
I make sure only sterile bottles to be used for her feeding……. and others. To me, that’s the least that I can do. Alhamdulillah, I am so grateful that close to 12 months of age, I only need to bear Nada catching fever for 3 times. Once was longer than two days. It was at the 8 month and during Aidilfitri. She had measles. I pray for Allah swt to always bless my prayers for her good health.
Thinking my girl inhaling the cigarettes smoke and damaging her lungs, brain cell, blood cells….. my heart shattered.
Is this also a scorching painful price I have to pay?
I desperately need a wiling to listen to me helper, whom can daily come over to my place to take care of Nada while I’m working. I don’t mind paying a maid’s pay with No house chores required.
Current decision, come Monday…… I will make a survey for Nursery, but I know for sure … there will be other painful incidents to happen due to this decision.
This entry… is dedicated to my dear cousin, Azmadie – stop smoking, will ya!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Thursday, December 18, 2008
THE PLEATED DRESS
During our shopping for Aidilfitri, I spotted a dress for which I would love to see my daughter Nada wearing it. It was a little simple round neck, smart cutting dress with pleats at hip level fitted right for the smart Nada. I always have the fond for these types of dresses rather than those pink-satin-girly gowns with jaggy edges, fancy ribbons and lots of frills. Those are pretty dresses but they just don’t hit my nerves.
As I looked at the price tag…. My, my.. it costs about RM 175 for such a simple dress. Not that I can’t afford the price once in a while, but at that moment I don’t feel like paying the sum. May be it didn’t go well with my overall budget for Aidilfitri shopping. Hey, I am a very wise money spender! ok.
Somehow, I can’t let go the site of the dress. I like it so much. So, I thought I would get some cloth and request my mami to sew. Coincidently, she planned to come over to my place the following weekend and I do have a sewing machine.
Before the weekend came, my mami changed her plan. She cancelled the trip, leaving the cloth that I bought unattended. Having the cloth laying on our utility table inside the utility room for almost a week, I decided to make the dress on my own.
I started by figuring out the plans and steps to be taken to execute the dress…. Not on paper but all in my mind. Visualizing which part should I cut first then the other? How to assemble the parts? How to hide the joining and stitches just like the dress that I saw in the boutique? And many more other questions even before I touch the cloth to start the sewing. I never have any formal training in sewing, but being a tailor’s daughter and granted with good EQ by Allah swt, I am so grateful that I am able to figure things out by just little observation.
All these, I did during my bathing time. Oh yes! I do a lot of thinking during bathing. Because to me, bathing is the 10 to 15 minutes time that only my physical works and hardly use the brain. One doesn’t need to think when to pick up the soap and start soaping one’s back or shampooing one’s hair. It’s all in your sub-conscious mind. It’s rather wasted not to use the brain, further more it’s a private time by myself and I can really focus on matters that I want to. I even answer exams questions during bathing (of course …. In my mind!). Most of the time, I plan my house chores and realize it really save me a lot of time by just doing the 10 minutes planning.
After 8 to 10 bathing, I was confident enough to start on the dress and it took me about 2 hours to finish it during Nada’s afternoon sleep on one weekend. The first person that I shown the dress to was of course… Harris! … His response was … “wah! U finish it ? when did u sew it?” Even Harris didn’t realize. … (he was sleeping too!)
When I went back for Aidilfitri, I showed my mami the dress that I made. She gave a remark… Not bad.. and started pointing out the flaws… where have I gone wrong. I expected that…, she’s a professional tailor by experience and for her to criticize my work, that means she cares. Even-so, I know deep inside her she’s proud of me too because for every relatives that came over, she would take the dress out and started showing off. “Look at this dress Yanti made for Nada….” She said.
Among the many comments that I received… Honest or not.. I do not know, were :
* Ngoh said : Yanti, you have such good talent!
* Mok Teh said : Yanti…… rajin betul.
* Busu said : This dress carries so much more value than the one hanging at the boutique.
* Cik Jah said : Yanti, you actually have time to sew?
* Thirah said : Kak Yanti memang pandai. Dulu masa kecik, Thirah ada baju smocking Kak Yanti buat. (I am so pleased she remembered… I guess, she was only 3-5 years old when I made her that smocking dress)
* Most would exclaim with unbelieving expression : “U sew it?”
AidilFitri gathering housed by Harris’s former boss, one of his close friends actually was looking for the dress’s label while carrying Nada around. Since he couldn’t find any, he judged - “Harris… you only put on exclusive dresses from oversea to your daughter? I couldn’t find the brand.”
Harris answered him… “Even if I did buy the dress oversea, there should be a brand. That dress doesn’t because Yanti didn’t put. She made it herself !” The whole full chorum table “roared” and started praising here and there.
(I wonder…. Ada jugak lelaki yang bz body …. Wanting to know what brand one’s kid is wearing?)
AidilAdha came, Nada wore the dress and I wore the kurung that I also made for myself using the same material. Looking at both of us, my mother-in-law asked, did mami made Nada’s dress? I replied her..
“Yanti made the dress”. Her reaction was… “That is nothing less than those being sold at shops!”…
Christmas brunch party with my colleagues at Chilis-KLCC, I dressed up Nada in the same dress. My principal’s wife, Cindy made a remark… “That’s a beautiful dress Nada wearing…. Suits her Osh Kosh shoes… How much do you buy the dress, Yanti?”. I told her… “o! This dress cost me about RM 10 - I sew it myself!”
Shockingly… with her eyeballs about to bolt out, she exclaimed. “ Are you joking? You are bluffing me, don’t you? That’s a perfect dress!”
…. As a person, as a wife and as a mother …. I AM PROUD OF MYSELF!
As I looked at the price tag…. My, my.. it costs about RM 175 for such a simple dress. Not that I can’t afford the price once in a while, but at that moment I don’t feel like paying the sum. May be it didn’t go well with my overall budget for Aidilfitri shopping. Hey, I am a very wise money spender! ok.
Somehow, I can’t let go the site of the dress. I like it so much. So, I thought I would get some cloth and request my mami to sew. Coincidently, she planned to come over to my place the following weekend and I do have a sewing machine.
Before the weekend came, my mami changed her plan. She cancelled the trip, leaving the cloth that I bought unattended. Having the cloth laying on our utility table inside the utility room for almost a week, I decided to make the dress on my own.
I started by figuring out the plans and steps to be taken to execute the dress…. Not on paper but all in my mind. Visualizing which part should I cut first then the other? How to assemble the parts? How to hide the joining and stitches just like the dress that I saw in the boutique? And many more other questions even before I touch the cloth to start the sewing. I never have any formal training in sewing, but being a tailor’s daughter and granted with good EQ by Allah swt, I am so grateful that I am able to figure things out by just little observation.
All these, I did during my bathing time. Oh yes! I do a lot of thinking during bathing. Because to me, bathing is the 10 to 15 minutes time that only my physical works and hardly use the brain. One doesn’t need to think when to pick up the soap and start soaping one’s back or shampooing one’s hair. It’s all in your sub-conscious mind. It’s rather wasted not to use the brain, further more it’s a private time by myself and I can really focus on matters that I want to. I even answer exams questions during bathing (of course …. In my mind!). Most of the time, I plan my house chores and realize it really save me a lot of time by just doing the 10 minutes planning.
After 8 to 10 bathing, I was confident enough to start on the dress and it took me about 2 hours to finish it during Nada’s afternoon sleep on one weekend. The first person that I shown the dress to was of course… Harris! … His response was … “wah! U finish it ? when did u sew it?” Even Harris didn’t realize. … (he was sleeping too!)
When I went back for Aidilfitri, I showed my mami the dress that I made. She gave a remark… Not bad.. and started pointing out the flaws… where have I gone wrong. I expected that…, she’s a professional tailor by experience and for her to criticize my work, that means she cares. Even-so, I know deep inside her she’s proud of me too because for every relatives that came over, she would take the dress out and started showing off. “Look at this dress Yanti made for Nada….” She said.
Among the many comments that I received… Honest or not.. I do not know, were :
* Ngoh said : Yanti, you have such good talent!
* Mok Teh said : Yanti…… rajin betul.
* Busu said : This dress carries so much more value than the one hanging at the boutique.
* Cik Jah said : Yanti, you actually have time to sew?
* Thirah said : Kak Yanti memang pandai. Dulu masa kecik, Thirah ada baju smocking Kak Yanti buat. (I am so pleased she remembered… I guess, she was only 3-5 years old when I made her that smocking dress)
* Most would exclaim with unbelieving expression : “U sew it?”
AidilFitri gathering housed by Harris’s former boss, one of his close friends actually was looking for the dress’s label while carrying Nada around. Since he couldn’t find any, he judged - “Harris… you only put on exclusive dresses from oversea to your daughter? I couldn’t find the brand.”
Harris answered him… “Even if I did buy the dress oversea, there should be a brand. That dress doesn’t because Yanti didn’t put. She made it herself !” The whole full chorum table “roared” and started praising here and there.
(I wonder…. Ada jugak lelaki yang bz body …. Wanting to know what brand one’s kid is wearing?)
AidilAdha came, Nada wore the dress and I wore the kurung that I also made for myself using the same material. Looking at both of us, my mother-in-law asked, did mami made Nada’s dress? I replied her..
“Yanti made the dress”. Her reaction was… “That is nothing less than those being sold at shops!”…
Christmas brunch party with my colleagues at Chilis-KLCC, I dressed up Nada in the same dress. My principal’s wife, Cindy made a remark… “That’s a beautiful dress Nada wearing…. Suits her Osh Kosh shoes… How much do you buy the dress, Yanti?”. I told her… “o! This dress cost me about RM 10 - I sew it myself!”
Shockingly… with her eyeballs about to bolt out, she exclaimed. “ Are you joking? You are bluffing me, don’t you? That’s a perfect dress!”
…. As a person, as a wife and as a mother …. I AM PROUD OF MYSELF!
Nada being the feast at Christmas Party
NADA & DADDY
US....
ME !
Having said, I made a conclusion. For me to execute and complete a dress for my daughter, I have put in:
1. A reasonable duration of time. Thanks to the unseen thinking process.
2. So little money. The cloth cost me RM 3.90/m, the ribbon complete with ready made cute yellow flowers – RM 4.20/m (ribbon cost more than the cloth? Emph.. emph.. emph…), buttons – RM 1.80 a dozen. All in …. Less than RM 10.
3. Lots and lots and lots and lots of LOVE.
It triggers me, if I put so much Love to make one dress….. what can I say about my mami. All my life since birth until I manage to buy on my own, 90% of my clothing are sewn by my mami. (Save 10% for clothing which were bought by my aunties / uncles).
I thank her sincerely for all my daily use, my outing dresses-gowns-pants-shirts, my night wears, my kurongs, my kebayas, my school uniforms and even my shorts for school P.E classes……………..
My mami had put her mountains of unconditional-ultimate-infinity Love for all that.
Now that I never miss to pay her for the clothing that she makes for me, double or triple of her normal charge to customers as a token of Love and appreciation…………, I know……………….. I can’t never afford to pay her Love. Not even with all the money that I have, in my entire life.
I hope one day…. My daughter will realize and understand, for me to make her dresses is no big deal. After all, a dress is just a dress but the Love being put into it, is the TREASURE to be cherished.
MY GIRL IN THE PLEATED DRESS
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
.It's A Pale Green Home by YantiMahamud
Chapter 2 – Beautiful home with that legendary bright orange concrete stairs
I don’t think many of my cousins or even aunties and uncles remember the address and phone no of our home which had been dismantled 14 years ago. But me…. I do!
It was 5319-H Jalan Sultan Yahya Petra, 15150, Kota Bharu, Kelantan and the phone no was… from 5 digits 09-25548 change to 6 digits 09-785548. At the time that I write this entry, I have no reference to anything at all…… but just the sharp memory of mine granted by Allah swt towards this place which my childhood life evolved around it.
Having the address for a house is essential, but my home was more likely to be known with it’s description for the location. It was the first house on the right fronting a road which run along CEB pylon (CEB…..that was TNB…. donkey years ago) in Kampung Lundang with bright orange concrete entrance staircase. Usually, people don’t miss it even for their first time.
My home… was only a humble major-on-stilt, ‘tindih kasih’ mode wooden house painted in pale green color with shingle roofing, but by comparison with it’s flock, I would say my home was the most beautiful home around. Our immediate neighbors would be 2 rows of rented 1 bedroom ‘link-houses’ with detached water-closets on the right (I remember, my mami once ran into one of it when she tried to learn to ride motorbike…that scared her like anything!) and on the left was a single storey on-ground brick house resided by an Arab-Chinese family. (well, this house was rather ‘multi-national’… apparently according to my mami it was previously owned by a Japanese-Malay family… not bad, huh!)
Mok cik Dah whom lived at the behind right corner which then shifted for about 300m parallel away south has quite big houses, but my home can beat her houses anytime. The Tok Bomoh’s house… God! don’t even mention. It was a scary house. My cousins and I used to utilize the house compound for a short path to Mok’s sister’s (Chik-Allahyarhamah) house. Every time we wanted to cross the house compound… we would start with………. Bismillahirrahmanirahim… at the gate……… and RUUUUUNNNNNNN as fast as lightning! While running, we recited out loud… ALHAMDULLILAH HI RABBIL ALAMIN……………….. and finished the whole Mother of Surrah by the time we crossed it. He he…. It gave us the courage we need.
Across the road in-front of my home was another single storey on-ground part brick and part wooden house. It was a nice house, but not a match to compare. Hello! It was a house erected by an ADUN before, of course it’s nice. The house even had a game room full of toys for the grandsons – Azu-Allahyarham, Cici and Jaja.
I would say, the closest rival was Mok cik Nab’s house. As far as I can remember, she wiped the balcony balusters everyday…. its EVERY.. day, ok. That takes a lot of effort and passion in cleaning and for that I salute her, further more… she is such a kind-hearted woman. But still, my beautiful home beats hers by….., I guess…. 2 %. It’s because Mok has better taste than hers in decorating!
Mok loves beautiful things. Plants with flowers delight her very much! We had cannas to fence our front right boundary, ‘bunga cina’ tree which bloomed almost through out the year, seasonal shrubs like ‘bunga tahi ayam’, ‘balung ayam’ and balsams. Big purple bougainvillea sometimes crawled right up to the roof and gave Busu a hard time chopping it down. Mok loves them all…. but, her pride would be all the potted plants stacked on tiers at both right and left corners of the home. They complemented well with the bright orange stairs of which it was a place for all of us to hang out in late afternoons. We love the stairs so much… Kakak and I in our teen age used to sit there just to observe the goers passing our home and looked out for cute-good-looking boys. There was a guy living next to Tok Bomoh’s house… that I no longer recall his name…. ya.. we always tried stalking him from our stairs. But hey, of course we did it intelligently and pride-fully.
So convenient that stairs was, sometimes guesses who came to our home just wanted to ‘lepak’ right there even with our utmost pleasure welcoming them for seats in the living room. ‘Nescafe’ or tea with delicacies then would be served at the ‘bendul’.
The stairs was also where Mok would stand eyeing and waiting for Kakak going to sundry shop located by the main road at nights with lights on, if she…. at a very rare occasion desperately needed to go. She’s afraid of darkness.
My beautiful home with that legendary bright orange concrete entrance staircase… how I much miss it!
I don’t think many of my cousins or even aunties and uncles remember the address and phone no of our home which had been dismantled 14 years ago. But me…. I do!
It was 5319-H Jalan Sultan Yahya Petra, 15150, Kota Bharu, Kelantan and the phone no was… from 5 digits 09-25548 change to 6 digits 09-785548. At the time that I write this entry, I have no reference to anything at all…… but just the sharp memory of mine granted by Allah swt towards this place which my childhood life evolved around it.
Having the address for a house is essential, but my home was more likely to be known with it’s description for the location. It was the first house on the right fronting a road which run along CEB pylon (CEB…..that was TNB…. donkey years ago) in Kampung Lundang with bright orange concrete entrance staircase. Usually, people don’t miss it even for their first time.
My home… was only a humble major-on-stilt, ‘tindih kasih’ mode wooden house painted in pale green color with shingle roofing, but by comparison with it’s flock, I would say my home was the most beautiful home around. Our immediate neighbors would be 2 rows of rented 1 bedroom ‘link-houses’ with detached water-closets on the right (I remember, my mami once ran into one of it when she tried to learn to ride motorbike…that scared her like anything!) and on the left was a single storey on-ground brick house resided by an Arab-Chinese family. (well, this house was rather ‘multi-national’… apparently according to my mami it was previously owned by a Japanese-Malay family… not bad, huh!)
Mok cik Dah whom lived at the behind right corner which then shifted for about 300m parallel away south has quite big houses, but my home can beat her houses anytime. The Tok Bomoh’s house… God! don’t even mention. It was a scary house. My cousins and I used to utilize the house compound for a short path to Mok’s sister’s (Chik-Allahyarhamah) house. Every time we wanted to cross the house compound… we would start with………. Bismillahirrahmanirahim… at the gate……… and RUUUUUNNNNNNN as fast as lightning! While running, we recited out loud… ALHAMDULLILAH HI RABBIL ALAMIN……………….. and finished the whole Mother of Surrah by the time we crossed it. He he…. It gave us the courage we need.
Across the road in-front of my home was another single storey on-ground part brick and part wooden house. It was a nice house, but not a match to compare. Hello! It was a house erected by an ADUN before, of course it’s nice. The house even had a game room full of toys for the grandsons – Azu-Allahyarham, Cici and Jaja.
I would say, the closest rival was Mok cik Nab’s house. As far as I can remember, she wiped the balcony balusters everyday…. its EVERY.. day, ok. That takes a lot of effort and passion in cleaning and for that I salute her, further more… she is such a kind-hearted woman. But still, my beautiful home beats hers by….., I guess…. 2 %. It’s because Mok has better taste than hers in decorating!
Mok loves beautiful things. Plants with flowers delight her very much! We had cannas to fence our front right boundary, ‘bunga cina’ tree which bloomed almost through out the year, seasonal shrubs like ‘bunga tahi ayam’, ‘balung ayam’ and balsams. Big purple bougainvillea sometimes crawled right up to the roof and gave Busu a hard time chopping it down. Mok loves them all…. but, her pride would be all the potted plants stacked on tiers at both right and left corners of the home. They complemented well with the bright orange stairs of which it was a place for all of us to hang out in late afternoons. We love the stairs so much… Kakak and I in our teen age used to sit there just to observe the goers passing our home and looked out for cute-good-looking boys. There was a guy living next to Tok Bomoh’s house… that I no longer recall his name…. ya.. we always tried stalking him from our stairs. But hey, of course we did it intelligently and pride-fully.
So convenient that stairs was, sometimes guesses who came to our home just wanted to ‘lepak’ right there even with our utmost pleasure welcoming them for seats in the living room. ‘Nescafe’ or tea with delicacies then would be served at the ‘bendul’.
The stairs was also where Mok would stand eyeing and waiting for Kakak going to sundry shop located by the main road at nights with lights on, if she…. at a very rare occasion desperately needed to go. She’s afraid of darkness.
My beautiful home with that legendary bright orange concrete entrance staircase… how I much miss it!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
It's A Pale-Green Home by YantiMahamud
Chapter 1 – The Love
When I was a child, I don’t really know what were my ‘likes’ or ‘dislikes’ ….
Clothing – not like kids nowadays whom are so good in choosing what to wear… I just wore what my grandmother told me so. After taking bath…. It was always “Mok, pakai baju mana?” … and she would usually replied with a teasing tone, half shouting… “Pakailah kain songket pun!” But still, it was her picked then that I had to follow.
Food – never have any favorite restaurant. There was hardly an eat-out those days. It was already considered a big event if my aunties brought me to buy fried mee-hoon at nearby restaurants within the vicinity of where we lived. The few were, Sarina Reastaurant … Mirana Restaurant… even so, it was ‘tapau’ and eat it home.
Once in a blue moon I dined at a steam-boat restaurant called Sun-Too in town and that was really a HUGE-EXTRA-ORDINARY thing. There was a time Busu brought me to accompany her for dinner with her soon to be husband at Seri Restaurant. I needed to behave and of cause was trying hard to do so. Busu ordered for me float drink and I was so excited about it. Instead of slurping the drink, I blew it through the straw! It was a disaster….. the float spilled all over the big glass!
Books? – no way… Kampong girl like me…. I’d rather play “bola kaki-tiga” or follow my brother to climb trees rather than reading books. Somehow, I had a good discipline though, never go out playing unless I finished my home works.
Cartoon character – there were only RTM 1 & 2 back then. TV3 only reached my home town, I guess when I was in Std 4 or 5, or may be later. Don’t really remember. So, leaving for KL during school holidays was a big thing… that I could watch TV3 programs and boasted to my kampong friends. With limited tv programs, what cartoon character can be a favorite or a like?
Toys – Dream on! I don’t have favorite toy because I don’t have many toys. The toy that I remember playing if it can even be considered as a toy, was the lady figure print paper doll with outfits also out of printed paper-cutting that may be changed by hanging on it’s shoulder. Walllaweh… those were like Barbie dolls by current measure.
Should I want to play with toys… I’d hang-out at my Ayah Long’s (Allahyarham) house. Hmmmm… my cousin, Safrul had the most toys compared to any of us. He had this white ‘Transformer’ robot that amused us all….. Lego which he regarded as one new toy each day….. his Papa also bought him boxing gloves!.. but I think, he hardly used the gloves. He was an ever first-rate umi’s boy.
Not really having the likes, loves or certainties…. BY SOME MEANS…. there were 4 things that I was so certain about even as a child.
One – My ambition, I never change…. I wanted to be a teacher as I ever can remember. Should there be anyone that asked me… What I were gonna be when I grew up or needed me to fill in the ambition column in school particulars card, I had no hesitation. TEACHER… that was what I wanted to be. Somehow I ended up now being an Architect. (Thank God!…. can’t imagine myself teaching.)
A cousin of mine, she used to have this hesitation either wanted to be an air stewardess or a farmer! … Alamak!
Two – Once I started schooling in standard One (whoops! Never go to kindergarten….) I knew exactly I wanted to go to boarding school for secondary. The school, must be Tunku Kurshiah College because I heard it is a good school and only best students are permitted.
Three – I like the color green…. And still love it until today. All tones and hues of green. That was why I chose green color for my wedding color theme.
Four – I love my House. I love it so much that I always tried to draw for primary school art classes.
And This… This is a story of one of my four early LIKES / LOVES / CERTAINTIES.
A place where I grew up and spent the best ever first 19 years of my life right from an infant to a teenager. 5 years out of that 19, was complemented with another wonderful place .......... Tunku Kurshiah College.
It was a place that is very close to my heart that I call HOME. And a story of this place will never be a story if it is without the main spine……. My grandmother, ESHAH BT ABD. RAHMAN whom her 9 children call her ‘Ming’ (short of umi), her 32 grandchildren call her ‘Mok’ and her 11 (+ another 2 on the way) great-grandchildren call her ‘Tok’…………………………..
When I was a child, I don’t really know what were my ‘likes’ or ‘dislikes’ ….
Clothing – not like kids nowadays whom are so good in choosing what to wear… I just wore what my grandmother told me so. After taking bath…. It was always “Mok, pakai baju mana?” … and she would usually replied with a teasing tone, half shouting… “Pakailah kain songket pun!” But still, it was her picked then that I had to follow.
Food – never have any favorite restaurant. There was hardly an eat-out those days. It was already considered a big event if my aunties brought me to buy fried mee-hoon at nearby restaurants within the vicinity of where we lived. The few were, Sarina Reastaurant … Mirana Restaurant… even so, it was ‘tapau’ and eat it home.
Once in a blue moon I dined at a steam-boat restaurant called Sun-Too in town and that was really a HUGE-EXTRA-ORDINARY thing. There was a time Busu brought me to accompany her for dinner with her soon to be husband at Seri Restaurant. I needed to behave and of cause was trying hard to do so. Busu ordered for me float drink and I was so excited about it. Instead of slurping the drink, I blew it through the straw! It was a disaster….. the float spilled all over the big glass!
Books? – no way… Kampong girl like me…. I’d rather play “bola kaki-tiga” or follow my brother to climb trees rather than reading books. Somehow, I had a good discipline though, never go out playing unless I finished my home works.
Cartoon character – there were only RTM 1 & 2 back then. TV3 only reached my home town, I guess when I was in Std 4 or 5, or may be later. Don’t really remember. So, leaving for KL during school holidays was a big thing… that I could watch TV3 programs and boasted to my kampong friends. With limited tv programs, what cartoon character can be a favorite or a like?
Toys – Dream on! I don’t have favorite toy because I don’t have many toys. The toy that I remember playing if it can even be considered as a toy, was the lady figure print paper doll with outfits also out of printed paper-cutting that may be changed by hanging on it’s shoulder. Walllaweh… those were like Barbie dolls by current measure.
Should I want to play with toys… I’d hang-out at my Ayah Long’s (Allahyarham) house. Hmmmm… my cousin, Safrul had the most toys compared to any of us. He had this white ‘Transformer’ robot that amused us all….. Lego which he regarded as one new toy each day….. his Papa also bought him boxing gloves!.. but I think, he hardly used the gloves. He was an ever first-rate umi’s boy.
Not really having the likes, loves or certainties…. BY SOME MEANS…. there were 4 things that I was so certain about even as a child.
One – My ambition, I never change…. I wanted to be a teacher as I ever can remember. Should there be anyone that asked me… What I were gonna be when I grew up or needed me to fill in the ambition column in school particulars card, I had no hesitation. TEACHER… that was what I wanted to be. Somehow I ended up now being an Architect. (Thank God!…. can’t imagine myself teaching.)
A cousin of mine, she used to have this hesitation either wanted to be an air stewardess or a farmer! … Alamak!
Two – Once I started schooling in standard One (whoops! Never go to kindergarten….) I knew exactly I wanted to go to boarding school for secondary. The school, must be Tunku Kurshiah College because I heard it is a good school and only best students are permitted.
Three – I like the color green…. And still love it until today. All tones and hues of green. That was why I chose green color for my wedding color theme.
Four – I love my House. I love it so much that I always tried to draw for primary school art classes.
And This… This is a story of one of my four early LIKES / LOVES / CERTAINTIES.
A place where I grew up and spent the best ever first 19 years of my life right from an infant to a teenager. 5 years out of that 19, was complemented with another wonderful place .......... Tunku Kurshiah College.
It was a place that is very close to my heart that I call HOME. And a story of this place will never be a story if it is without the main spine……. My grandmother, ESHAH BT ABD. RAHMAN whom her 9 children call her ‘Ming’ (short of umi), her 32 grandchildren call her ‘Mok’ and her 11 (+ another 2 on the way) great-grandchildren call her ‘Tok’…………………………..
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Nada Hates Carrots
Introducing solid food to an infant is not as easy as it sounds…. I started with puree.. that was boiled-mashed banana to Nada when she’s about 6 months of age. She likes it and gulps everything down her throat. A week or so, I switched to dates. Also in puree form… she likes it too. So, I thought… ok! enough on “sweet taste”, lets try some “vegy” now.
To start of, I tried carrots. Boiled… mashed…. And fed her.
The first fed.. she gave me this kind of look = “mommy? What are you trying to feed me?” with her eye brows frowning! … I ignored her facial impression.
The second fed…. She spewed it out. Again I ignored her.
The third fed …. She just kept it in her mouth, not wanting to swallow! I MADE her swallowed and she gave me the FIERCE looking face.
The fourth fed…. That’s it!….. She yelled like no body’s business, with her arms and legs banging onto the bouncing chair. Her head swaying side to side… and I think the whole block apartment that we reside can actually heard her.
What a HUGE protest from this tiny monster. I gave up for that moment and realized the mistake that I have made. Shouldn’t have started with the “sweet” taste. But, too bad… damage have already been done. I have to figure out how to fix it!
Close to 7 months old, I bought the ready cereal from supermarket rack and till now, it is never enough for her at any meal. She surely wants more. Such big eater she is.
Still, I don’t want to settle with just ready cereals and with so limited time that I have, I always try to put my best effort to feed her home cook meal. Anytime that permits me, I will try to cook even though I used to hate cooking and my cook is so lousy. Until now … quite variety of porridge that I have tried, chicken .. red meat .. fish .. cabbage.. spinach. She would finish them all …. But CARROTS.. No way! Even if I mix and blend in the rice porridge. She just hate it! Was it the trauma that she had the first time? … I don’t know.
I remember then how my mami always tried to make me eat when I was little kid for I was a picky eater. So skinny I was. (God! What happen to me, now?… I’ve got no waist line already). I hated rice and instead I chose bread.
To think back, it’s very weird that my comfort food was hard-top bun bread that I bought from a sundry shop owned by an old Chinese couple I called
A-long and Mek, dipped into just plain water! It’s even tastier to have it in late afternoon at the 1 foot height ‘bendul’ of our house verandah leading to where my grandmother used to dry her laundry and listening to my mami’s sewing machine musical sound. That’s where I did my homework too.
My mami used to have the trick of “nasi ajaib”, those were rice balls with fillings inside. So, if I want to know what was inside the rice balls, I’ve got to eat them. It could be fish or eggs or chicken. Anything…, but those days, chicken was rather a luxury item.
To make me finish the meal, my mami had this tale that the food I was eating… was actually supposed to go for a gastronomy trip into my stomach. (of cause she didn’t use the word gastronomy!) So, it was rather sad to left behind the unfinished meal on the plate and made them cried for not being able to go.
She also used to say in her rich kelantanese dialect : “Tak po adik… tera dulu. Kalu tok sedak.. Kehek atah tange mami ni.” Every time she was introducing me to new food or delicacies.
Ok la!… let me translate … Meaning is “It’s okay, honey … u taste it first. If it doesn’t taste good .. spew it out on mami’s palm” …. and sure! her palm is opened right beneath my jaw ready to receive any spew at all… That was the extend she tried on me. But, I know… I have never spewed anything out… because all she fed me, taste good.
My mami …. Never a highly educated woman, what more a sophisticated 9-5 office-working woman.
She is a widow whom earns her living being a tailor to raise my brother and I, with so much patience, will and grace in her. Everyone would agree with me if I say,… when ever she smiles… it’s always a genuine smile from her innocent heart! That’s why at 58 now… she’s a healthy person who just looks 48.
And so, Nada hates carrots. Such a challenge for me but I will never give up. It’s a hurdle that I am sure I will leap over one day. Right now, I am so determine to feed her home-cook food as much as I can, and for that… I am now also eyeing for that Panasonic HR-2068 Food Processor that will cost me RM 229!
…. Nada.. Nada..
Strange thing how a small child that we love so much… even if that small child is not of our own can make us all…… change for the better.
To start of, I tried carrots. Boiled… mashed…. And fed her.
The first fed.. she gave me this kind of look = “mommy? What are you trying to feed me?” with her eye brows frowning! … I ignored her facial impression.
The second fed…. She spewed it out. Again I ignored her.
The third fed …. She just kept it in her mouth, not wanting to swallow! I MADE her swallowed and she gave me the FIERCE looking face.
The fourth fed…. That’s it!….. She yelled like no body’s business, with her arms and legs banging onto the bouncing chair. Her head swaying side to side… and I think the whole block apartment that we reside can actually heard her.
What a HUGE protest from this tiny monster. I gave up for that moment and realized the mistake that I have made. Shouldn’t have started with the “sweet” taste. But, too bad… damage have already been done. I have to figure out how to fix it!
Close to 7 months old, I bought the ready cereal from supermarket rack and till now, it is never enough for her at any meal. She surely wants more. Such big eater she is.
Still, I don’t want to settle with just ready cereals and with so limited time that I have, I always try to put my best effort to feed her home cook meal. Anytime that permits me, I will try to cook even though I used to hate cooking and my cook is so lousy. Until now … quite variety of porridge that I have tried, chicken .. red meat .. fish .. cabbage.. spinach. She would finish them all …. But CARROTS.. No way! Even if I mix and blend in the rice porridge. She just hate it! Was it the trauma that she had the first time? … I don’t know.
I remember then how my mami always tried to make me eat when I was little kid for I was a picky eater. So skinny I was. (God! What happen to me, now?… I’ve got no waist line already). I hated rice and instead I chose bread.
To think back, it’s very weird that my comfort food was hard-top bun bread that I bought from a sundry shop owned by an old Chinese couple I called
A-long and Mek, dipped into just plain water! It’s even tastier to have it in late afternoon at the 1 foot height ‘bendul’ of our house verandah leading to where my grandmother used to dry her laundry and listening to my mami’s sewing machine musical sound. That’s where I did my homework too.
My mami used to have the trick of “nasi ajaib”, those were rice balls with fillings inside. So, if I want to know what was inside the rice balls, I’ve got to eat them. It could be fish or eggs or chicken. Anything…, but those days, chicken was rather a luxury item.
To make me finish the meal, my mami had this tale that the food I was eating… was actually supposed to go for a gastronomy trip into my stomach. (of cause she didn’t use the word gastronomy!) So, it was rather sad to left behind the unfinished meal on the plate and made them cried for not being able to go.
She also used to say in her rich kelantanese dialect : “Tak po adik… tera dulu. Kalu tok sedak.. Kehek atah tange mami ni.” Every time she was introducing me to new food or delicacies.
Ok la!… let me translate … Meaning is “It’s okay, honey … u taste it first. If it doesn’t taste good .. spew it out on mami’s palm” …. and sure! her palm is opened right beneath my jaw ready to receive any spew at all… That was the extend she tried on me. But, I know… I have never spewed anything out… because all she fed me, taste good.
My mami …. Never a highly educated woman, what more a sophisticated 9-5 office-working woman.
She is a widow whom earns her living being a tailor to raise my brother and I, with so much patience, will and grace in her. Everyone would agree with me if I say,… when ever she smiles… it’s always a genuine smile from her innocent heart! That’s why at 58 now… she’s a healthy person who just looks 48.
And so, Nada hates carrots. Such a challenge for me but I will never give up. It’s a hurdle that I am sure I will leap over one day. Right now, I am so determine to feed her home-cook food as much as I can, and for that… I am now also eyeing for that Panasonic HR-2068 Food Processor that will cost me RM 229!
…. Nada.. Nada..
Strange thing how a small child that we love so much… even if that small child is not of our own can make us all…… change for the better.
Friday, October 10, 2008
when did they ever grow?
Aidilfitri is one of the many occasions that give me the chance to catch up on latest news, gossips, rumors and whatever word that brings the same meaning to it with my relatives particularly aunties, uncles and cousins.
Ever since I can remember, my family and I have been staying with my grandmother. So I am rather attached with cousins because the place that I live, was and is the home for everyone to gather.
Those days, during childhood … the grandchildren are divided into batches. I was in the first batch which consists the 5 of us with unique or long names in descending order :
1. My brother…, Mohd Safari Nasir or Abang Payie… he’s the naughty one and used to be leader in everything
2. My cousin sister…., Sulastri or Kakak … she is the LOVE of everybody
3. My cousin brother …., Mohd Safrul Alam or ‘Row’… he is Kakak’s younger brother and always a good boy.
4. My self …., Safariyanti Mario…. Don’t really know how to describe myself5. My younger cousin sister … Feby Soosani… I would say she’s the materially spoilt girl for being the only daughter for 12 years but a VERY kind hearted person.
Being the first batch we would bet among us the next cousin to come if it would be a boy or a girl, if there was any aunt of us whom got pregnant. This was like to ascertain the strength of BOY or GIRL power.
After Feby… it was then quite a big gap before the others came … Gg, Faizal, Fahmi, Adzim, Farah, Fatin, Boy … and on and on….. (I remember them all, but it will be a looooooong list!…. 32 names.)
At one point…. Boom ! it’s like America after World War 2, we welcomed some kind of 2 or 3 or 4 cousins in a year! Sana beranak… sini beranak.
I remember Kakak once said to me… few years to come, there will be a batch of girl cousins that’s gonna fight for the date to get married!
This year aidilifitri, I realized what Kakak said before, is becoming to be true.
Ika – at her 20, had revolved from a used to be fair and chubby girl with boyish hair cut to a tall, slim ‘chick’. Rather attractive.
Syasha – also at 20 whom from a baby has always has the beautiful eyes…. and … Now, that same eyes are even more beautiful and brighter which can struck any lad any time. She doesn’t need any berries essence for that!
Thirah – should be 19 now, has the most obvious change. She…….., if not as beautiful as her mother, my youngest aunt Busu, is SO…. SO….SO much sweeter!
Mirah – the same age as Thirah was a big, rough girl …. Has turn to a lady with so much GRACE.
They all have grown up and not the little girls that I used to see in them anymore. WHEN DID THEY EVER GROW?………………………………..
A few lines of word and advise here for my young cousins… that I will always regard them as my little sisters even in years to come :
1. Kak Yanti loves you all.
2. Wear make up for yourselves and not for boys! It is just too shallow if you all do that.
3. Have fun being yourselves as girls.
4. Soon, you’ll enter to the working life. Remember for every Ringgit that you earn, there is a portion for others. So at least spare some for your parents even if they do not ask you for it….. because all your life… you only know how to ask !!
Looking at my beautiful grown cousins…………… suddenly it fears me, if one day……. I’ll be seeing my darling daughter, Nada all grown up with out realizing when does she ever grow!
Ever since I can remember, my family and I have been staying with my grandmother. So I am rather attached with cousins because the place that I live, was and is the home for everyone to gather.
Those days, during childhood … the grandchildren are divided into batches. I was in the first batch which consists the 5 of us with unique or long names in descending order :
1. My brother…, Mohd Safari Nasir or Abang Payie… he’s the naughty one and used to be leader in everything
2. My cousin sister…., Sulastri or Kakak … she is the LOVE of everybody
3. My cousin brother …., Mohd Safrul Alam or ‘Row’… he is Kakak’s younger brother and always a good boy.
4. My self …., Safariyanti Mario…. Don’t really know how to describe myself5. My younger cousin sister … Feby Soosani… I would say she’s the materially spoilt girl for being the only daughter for 12 years but a VERY kind hearted person.
Being the first batch we would bet among us the next cousin to come if it would be a boy or a girl, if there was any aunt of us whom got pregnant. This was like to ascertain the strength of BOY or GIRL power.
After Feby… it was then quite a big gap before the others came … Gg, Faizal, Fahmi, Adzim, Farah, Fatin, Boy … and on and on….. (I remember them all, but it will be a looooooong list!…. 32 names.)
At one point…. Boom ! it’s like America after World War 2, we welcomed some kind of 2 or 3 or 4 cousins in a year! Sana beranak… sini beranak.
I remember Kakak once said to me… few years to come, there will be a batch of girl cousins that’s gonna fight for the date to get married!
This year aidilifitri, I realized what Kakak said before, is becoming to be true.
Ika – at her 20, had revolved from a used to be fair and chubby girl with boyish hair cut to a tall, slim ‘chick’. Rather attractive.
Syasha – also at 20 whom from a baby has always has the beautiful eyes…. and … Now, that same eyes are even more beautiful and brighter which can struck any lad any time. She doesn’t need any berries essence for that!
Thirah – should be 19 now, has the most obvious change. She…….., if not as beautiful as her mother, my youngest aunt Busu, is SO…. SO….SO much sweeter!
Mirah – the same age as Thirah was a big, rough girl …. Has turn to a lady with so much GRACE.
They all have grown up and not the little girls that I used to see in them anymore. WHEN DID THEY EVER GROW?………………………………..
A few lines of word and advise here for my young cousins… that I will always regard them as my little sisters even in years to come :
1. Kak Yanti loves you all.
2. Wear make up for yourselves and not for boys! It is just too shallow if you all do that.
3. Have fun being yourselves as girls.
4. Soon, you’ll enter to the working life. Remember for every Ringgit that you earn, there is a portion for others. So at least spare some for your parents even if they do not ask you for it….. because all your life… you only know how to ask !!
Looking at my beautiful grown cousins…………… suddenly it fears me, if one day……. I’ll be seeing my darling daughter, Nada all grown up with out realizing when does she ever grow!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Letter for a Friend
Dear Johahn,
Hi.. It’s been ages since I last wrote to you. Was it 14? or may be 15 years back? At that instance we were both still in school uniforms and the means was… SNAIL MAIL!
So, how are you at the present? The last time we bumped to each other, you’re still the good looking guy that I have always pictured you are.
Returning home for eid, the news traveled fast to me that you were getting married. Congratulation! I am happy for you.
Now that we are in the later phase of our lives,…. Having families of our own…. I really hope we’ll able to be better friends moment on.
As you know, I am blessed with the arrival of such a gorgeous daughter…. ………….
Nada Firas bt Abdul Harris. She’s now eight months old and my husband and I love her dearly!
Not for long, I am sure you’ll be blessed with one too.
Johahn,
These 15 years or so, it is always in me the things that I wanted to let u know.
……………. I am very.. very sorry that I ever uttered the dim-witted phrase which I believe makes us apart, though it could be due to other reasons that I’ll never know. I admit, it was said out of depth thought. And I regretted the way it was conveyed to you. At times, how I wish I could turn back the clock and make it right.
But the clock has been ticking for 15 years……………. And I know, I should let it go somehow. …….. May be by writing thee letter.
I never had the chance to apologize personally, so by way of this letter I am hoping that my apology is accepted.
All said, again……, a heartfelt congratulation on your wedding. May it brings you joy and happiness forever.
Until our paths cross again……….. cherish the good moment…..
Truly,
yanti
Hi.. It’s been ages since I last wrote to you. Was it 14? or may be 15 years back? At that instance we were both still in school uniforms and the means was… SNAIL MAIL!
So, how are you at the present? The last time we bumped to each other, you’re still the good looking guy that I have always pictured you are.
Returning home for eid, the news traveled fast to me that you were getting married. Congratulation! I am happy for you.
Now that we are in the later phase of our lives,…. Having families of our own…. I really hope we’ll able to be better friends moment on.
As you know, I am blessed with the arrival of such a gorgeous daughter…. ………….
Nada Firas bt Abdul Harris. She’s now eight months old and my husband and I love her dearly!
Not for long, I am sure you’ll be blessed with one too.
Johahn,
These 15 years or so, it is always in me the things that I wanted to let u know.
……………. I am very.. very sorry that I ever uttered the dim-witted phrase which I believe makes us apart, though it could be due to other reasons that I’ll never know. I admit, it was said out of depth thought. And I regretted the way it was conveyed to you. At times, how I wish I could turn back the clock and make it right.
But the clock has been ticking for 15 years……………. And I know, I should let it go somehow. …….. May be by writing thee letter.
I never had the chance to apologize personally, so by way of this letter I am hoping that my apology is accepted.
All said, again……, a heartfelt congratulation on your wedding. May it brings you joy and happiness forever.
Until our paths cross again……….. cherish the good moment…..
Truly,
yanti
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